Hello there again, Internet. It’s me, Queertastic, and as my alias suggests, I’m pretty gay. Gay like happy, and gay like I’m bisexual. The small inconvenience is that I live in an Indian family with a Christian mom. Basically, a conservative environment, which has pushed me into the closet. I couldn’t ever pluck up the courage to properly come out of the closet, which is why I have so much experience with living inside a closet. It can get pretty lonely, but I know the reality is that I’m not alone. And you aren’t either- (that is, if you’re in the closet. If you’re not but are still reading, then go you, I like your vibes) so let’s bond over these feelings that I’m sure you’ve had.
① You’re the most enthusiastic “ally” ever
*nervously laughs* haha, just because I support gay rights doesn’t mean I’m gay… (y’all have no idea how many times I’ve pulled this statement)
② .. basically you’re a really good actor in some situations.
^. I’ve been acting straight for my whole life. I demand multiple Oscars, because I’m pretty sure everyone is buying it. (oh my lord, I hope people are buying it)
③ Whenever people ask you if you’re not straight, you look a little like this:
Uhm, I never said I wasn’t straight.. *more nervous laughs*.
④ But sometimes, you want people to think you’re LGBTQ+
Yeah, I always make an attempt to actively avoid saying the words “I’m straight”, because every time that I do say those words I feel like my gay heart dies a little.
⑤ It can get pretty lonely.
Sometimes you can just see outside the closet through a little crack in the door, reminding you of how much happier you’d be if you just came out. Major fears of missing out are constantly plaguing you, because you see people showing pride and you wish you could do the same.
➅ Sometimes you just want to come out
Usually when you’re having an impulsive night. You just want to explode with all the gay that you’ve been hiding.
➆ .. And sometimes you never ever want to leave the closet.
Usually during those long nights where you feel like even the idea of coming out of the closet is too terrifying to imagine.
➇ There are situations where you feel like you can just explode with gay
GAY. I’M SO. GAY. Sometimes you just wanna tattoo the words “I’M GAY” on your forehead and get this whole thing over it. And oh my gosh, during any conversation about gay people you could literally scream, but you don’t.
➈ Crushes can be twice the awkward
You get some of your friends asking why you’ve never had a crush, or if you’re like me then hiding your crushes are super hard, and with your luck you’ll say something stupid and give yourself away.
⑩ You sometimes forget that there are other people in the closet as well
But don’t worry, we all do it. Just because you feel lonely in the closet doesn’t mean you’re alone <3
But in the end, you know that you’ll get to come out and openly be your authentic, fabulous self! If you’re currently in the closet and want someone to talk to, hop on over to my personal blog over here, because as one of my friends once said “the closet is a place that can make you feel alone despite the fact that you know there are so many people in there with you”. Until then,
Love from Queertastic ♥