Category Archives: Spirituality

Eat Me!

The food in my fridge sings to me. And I mean it really sings. I suspect this is another one of those situations only people with an eating disorder genuinely understand. I’ve talked about The Voices before. Maybe you think I’m completely mad. Or schizophrenic. I’m neither of those things. I just have an eating disorder. All day…




Vanquishing the Voices

I’m trying to picture a life free from disordered eating. What would it look like? How would I feel? What would be different? The voice of doubt always wants to knock me down, but I’m working hard to vanquish that voice, and bring forth positive messages to empower recovery. In this picture, my external life would…




End of an Era

See that picture? That’s my toes. Pointing at a blank spot. A blank spot where my scales have sat since we renovated the bathroom about 12 years ago. (Before that they sat somewhere else…) For as long as I can remember, I have weighed myself first thing every morning – day in day out. Like…




Looking forward

Today was a non-linear recovery day. You know – the old cha cha cha – a few steps forward, a few steps back. Recovery is a non-linear process. But that’s okay – I keep telling myself… I made some really excellent decisions today and made some really excellent progress. Then I made some really crap decisions and slipped…




Easter Egg Epiphanies

Today I ate Easter eggs. I didn’t enjoy them. And it isn’t Easter. There are bags and bags of leftover solid little eggs at work, and apparently we can help ourselves. I’m not sure my colleagues realise what that actually means to somebody with an eating disorder. The only thing stopping me eating the thousand or…




Her beauty in one flower

“I was not kidding when I told you that you were the most beautiful flower of the garden.” “I am not kidding when I tell you that you are the best thing in the world!” Imagine again … That beautiful garden. Everything is pure green, fresh grass, perfectly cut,… Beautiful waterfalls connected by lakes with…




Bye Bye Beautiful Girl

I believe in Angels. I always have. I always will. I don’t believe in God, or religion, but I do believe in Angels. (Yes Grandma… I am allowed to believe in Angels without believing in God – there are no rules when it comes to faith!) Today we scattered my sister’s ashes. She is now at…




Dreams are better when we are awake

Dreams are better when we are awake. Dreams are better when we wake up to the fact that we are dreaming. That we have been dreaming our entire life, we have been dreaming our bodies, our personalities, we have been dreaming the walls that surrounds us, we have been dreaming the people in our life,…