24 Most Hilarious Comedian Quotes You Should Read

Comedians use their wit to share views on life’s relatable issues while making us laugh. Witty quotes by famous comedians will open up minds, entertain, encourage and inspire you, bring about social awareness and change your perspectives.

If you’re searching for famous phrases about life that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of inspiring quotes by actors, powerful quotes by authors, and top funny quotes.

I hope you really enjoy my favorite collection of amusing and inspirational quotes by comedians on life, love, relationship, truth, comedy and much more.

Combining humor with wisdom, comedians have a unique way of shedding light on life’s truths while making us laugh.

Short Quotes By Comedians

“I’m not insane. My mother had me tested.” – Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons), The Big Bang Theory

“I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.” – Zach Galifianakis

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

“I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott (Steve Carell), The Office

“There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself.” – Hannah Gadsby, Nanette

“Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.” – Tina Fey

Famous Quotes By Comedians

“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“You’re only given a little spark of madness and if you lose that, you’re nothing.” – Robin Williams, A Night at the Roxy

“Every generation is defined by a great struggle or tragedy. And it’s wild that our kids will never know there was a period of time, in this country, where you had to make a choice between being online or being on the phone.” – Hasan Minhaj, Homecoming King

“I wear my mistakes like badges of honor, and I celebrate them.” – Amy Schumer

Stand-Up Comedians Quotes

“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.” – Les Dawson

“I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg

“I know very little about anything, but what I do know is that if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it.” – Bo Burnham, Make Happy

“It’s a great gift, being alive … And I’m sober and that I’m not doing drugs, that’s a damn good accomplishment … I’m ahead.” – Richard Pryor

“Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.” – George Carlin

Comedian Quotes About Life

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks), Forrest Gump

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” – Jack Handey

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

“I cannot express how important it is to believe that taking one tiny — and possibly very uncomfortable — step at a time can ultimately add up to a great distance.” – Tig Notaro

“The only way we will survive is by being kind. The only way we can get by in this world is through the help we receive from others. No one can do it alone, no matter how great the machines are.” – Amy Poehler

“I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little.” – Sarah Silverman

Comedians have a gift for making us laugh while also making us think. Their witty observations on life, love, and everything in between offer a unique perspective that can lighten our hearts and challenge our minds simultaneously.