I have 6 sisters, so I know and have seen (majorly) only the girls prepared for marriage. This is evident when they find their dream husband and how they go about their wedding preparations, especially the dresses and then looking forward for that perfect pictures to gaze upon years later.

They have plans of how many children they would love to have, if it was a girl, they’ve pictured different kinds of hairstyle for her, nice shoes and dresses and if it was a boy, they pray he is just as cute as the husband, tall and handsome.

They enter into this lifetime commitment only to find out that is not everything they have hoped for. So they live two separate lives; One that has to be kept inside the family and another that outsiders has to see and love. I might be speaking only from my country’s point of view, as many girls from the age of 25 and above is thinking of marriage. Thereby making the society to constraint girls to marriage alone and not seen essential to development or having anything to contribute to her immediate society and beyond – but that’s another topic for another day.

As a boy growing up with my sisters taught me so much about girls and how to treat a woman but most importantly how to live with a woman – understanding her body language and responding carefully.

From experience, our society (parents) trains a boy differently than girls, as girls are generally taught how to sweep the house, cook, tidy up the surroundings, go shopping, do Laundry among others while the boys only help out occasionally on things when called upon. Thankfully, I was and still privileged to have parents who shared responsibilities equally – as I can cook, sweep, do laundry, babysit among many things that most men would frown upon as lady’s duties.

Just the way, every child should go to school and get the very best education, every child whether male or female should be prepared for marriage. As many future divorce can be saved. Most men go to marriage so confused and wished they didn’t, because they feel they weren’t ready or is too much work.

In a marriage, meant for two parties, one person is left to do the house chores, take care of the children, meet their needs as well as the husband’s. If she was working before marriage, she is expected to leave the job and stay back home. A man’s role in such a relationship isn’t to bring financial support to the family alone, if by getting a life partner and one spouse feels the need to be the only one making decisions for the family then there is a very big problem.

Girls are taught to tolerate their husband no matter what, even when beaten they soak it in as part of marriage, simply because they were told that is the duty of every woman to keep her home in order.

She even have to deal with a man that acts like a child – disposing his clothes from the living room up to the bedroom all in the name of keeping her home. She doesn’t have a voice and yet stayed because of her children and to keep her home. And after years of such emotional, physical and psychological deformation, the society sees it and terms  it “culture and tradition” of our people.

I celebrate every girl who was told such fallacy and followed it, you are the true reason why the institution of marriage is not frowned upon totally by my generation.

If every boy is taught half the things a girl is been taught, he will grow up to adore every woman he sees, not as an object of sexual pleasure but as an outstanding creature with extraordinary qualities that no amount of money can buy. It is equally important that boys are prepared emotionally to eliminate abuse of all sorts to women, as they are not pouching bags nor weak.

Responses

  1. momsunlimitedshopping

    Agreed with every word! In my community we are raised to get married young, a lot of guys have to learn how to do chores from cratch. It is hard but because the couples are young they teach eachother and learn together. Whenyou get older you can get set in your ways and it is way harder to change.

    1. judequeens Post author

      Wow… thank you @momsunlimitedshopping for that insight. Is really hard indeed, I hope to see more parents taking more action towards this.

      Will send you an email soon. Would love to know more about your community.

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