The year 2015 was my worst year on earth, a year that I will forever be thankful for.

Just as I was struggling to finish my tertiary education as a result of spillover course, my supposed friend whom I thought I knew for the past 6 years, had enjoyed our closeness so much that he started impersonating my sister on Facebook. He collected almost all the pictures of my sister he could find on my phone and used it to update the fake profile while collecting money from men among other things he did.

At first I couldn’t believe it, because the person in question was not just my friend anymore but my family, as I have introduced him to all my family members and sometimes he visited, ate and slept with us. So I called him immediately, we exchanged greetings as usual even made jokes and I told him I have something to ask him and would appreciate his sincerity – as I wouldn’t judge him.

Point blank, he denied it!

Having shared my deepest secret with him, I was privileged to also share in his sorrows that he allowed me to know and sometimes supported him financially, so I knew his bank account details like mine. As one of the evidence I saw on the fake Facebook profile, he account details was one of it .

That action led me to dig deep into him and I discovered a lot and for the first time in a very long time, I was shocked! So much that throughout that year and the beginning of 2016, I couldn’t get myself to trust anyone and sometimes I couldn’t trust myself – as I wondered how naive I could have been to miss some signs during our friendship.

Betrayed, but my recovery was the most difficult part of it all. So I have to get “Jude” back on track. I tried drinking, sex and indulging myself with movies and lots of celebrity gossip and watching “the kardashains” was a perfect excuse to my healing. And yet I was becoming more aggressive to every little thing and assumption of evil, even to people that meant to care for me. I drove a lot of good people away from my life – as a matter of a fact, I became bitter and nonchalant towards other people’s feeling.

After months of discovering what my friend did, he called me one day to ask for forgiveness, that he had a reason for what he did. I was so mad at him for saying that because I couldn’t imagine a reason why someone could do that to another person.

In the process of all this craziness, I missed the opportunity to accept his apology not because saying am sorry was enough but because it was my golden ticket to freedom from the hole of hatred and bitterness. That’s when my life became even harder to live and I considered sucide.

An attempt to take away what my life could have been and the good I could done and lives I could have saved – in that moment, my life was in flashes. So many “could have” flooded in and God showed me the steps to take and be the very best I could imagine. And so I started replacing my addiction to celebrity channels to listening to Joyce Meyer Ministry, her interpretation of Gods word came to life and I gradually started reading my bible, going to chapel and saying my rosary.

The dreams of a new life was born in me, so early February 2016, I called my friend and told him I have forgiven him, although things can’t be as it use to be but I promise to call and accept his calls once in a while and finally wished him the very best in life. Unconsciously I took a deep breathe after the call and said it out loud “it is over”.

I Found strength and I could love again, this time more patient and open minded. After this experience I became the Jude, that almost everyone I have come in contact with wants to associate with. It helped me find my purpose in life or better phrased, it prepared me for my purpose in life, because in my service to others I am always aware of that possibility  that it might not be sweet all the way, that I can’t expect everyone to behave the way I do but should be aware of my own reaction towards anything and everything that is totally against my standard in life.

Even though my response to this betrayal wasn’t the best at first, I am glad to have seen myself at my worst and what that moment in anyone’s life could be like. If you can cross over such mountain – you can manage any situation in life and sleep comfortably at night.

Responses

  1. brijkaulblog

    In the worst situations you learn to withstand the monster, and thus release your kindness to empower the the tyrinnical nature of the culprit. So no period is bad it teaches you to be strong.

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