As we grow older, the things you look for in a partner change.

I used think that if a girl was attractive, demanding and alpha, I absolutely should never let her go. It was a relationship worth working for because eventually she’d come around and we’d have the most passionate and fun relationship.

But after many failed relationships and ridiculous behaviour involving me being controlled like a loser, I realized that it was time to change who I was looking for in relationships.

So, after years of bad dating and heartbreak, I’ve finally worked out the type of qualities you should look for in a partner.

These qualities don’t come around too often, so if your partner has any of these, you should never let them go.

1) They’re consistent

An inconsistent person will make you go insane. You can’t rely on them, their behavior is unpredictable and they’re clearly not 100% committed to the relationship.

Sure, at the time you might think it’s fun when someone acts spontaneously. And it is. But when they live their life without any regard for rules, they’ll miss appointments and won’t be there for you when you truly need it.

So if your partner is consistent in their communication, reliability and interest in you, realize that you’re probably onto a winner.

2) Success

I’m not talking about someone being rich. That’s irrelevant. But they should have some level of security and ambition in their life.

Ambition shows a commitment to grow in life, which also means that their probably equally committed to growing a relationship as well.

If they’re unstable with what they’re doing and still trying to find their place in the world, they might not be able to fully commit to a long-term relationship.

So if your partner knows what they want to do and where they want to go, give them a big tight hug and don’t let go.

3) You laugh together

I think we can all agree that life is better when you don’t take it so seriously. Smiling and having a laugh on a daily basis is essential for your own wellbeing.

Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t have a sense of humor. Life is too short!

So, if you find yourself having a laugh on the regular with your partner, count yourself as lucky.

4) They listen to you

Listening is a skill that’s hard to come by. Some people love the sound of their own voice. And others simply aren’t interested in what you have to say.

Pay attention to if they’re actually responding appropriately to what you say, or if they’re slightly off and have their answers prepared before you start speaking.

If they’re not truly taking in what you have to say, it’s huge sign of disrespect. And respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

5) They show some level of affection

Some people are less affectionate than others and that’s fine. But if they’re not showing any affection at all outside of the bedroom, then it might be a bad sign.

I’m not talking about words either. I’m referring to actions. If they randomly hug you, kiss you or hold you without any cue, see it as a sign that they probably genuinely like you!

6) They respect you

Without “respect”, you won’t be able to trust them and a relationship simply can’t blossom. If you feel like they’re holding unnecessary power of you, or they won’t listen to your opinions or advice, it might be a warning sign that there’s respect missing.

You should be able to let each other be without coercing and controlling. That’s the only way the relationship can grow naturally and freely.

Never comprise yourself and who you are for an unhealthy love.

7) You believe in each other

If they’re optimistic about who you are and who they think you can grow to be, it’s a huge tick.

We’re all human and we all have potential that exists inside us. Love is the one of the most powerful forces to help us reach it. It can be the ultimate source of motivation.

So if they truly believe in what you’re capable of doing and becoming, never them let go!

HackSpirit

True love cannot be found easily, and especially not in today’s world. You see, people are so busy chasing so many things nowadays, that they barely ever stop to fully admire one thing or one person. They’re always trying to find something new, something presumably better. Only a few people actually stick around. Finding someone who genuinely loves you and cares for you is, without a doubt, one of the hardest things to do. Everyone’s running after something; make sure that you find someone who’s willing to take you along with them. A ‘partner’ is literally someone who goes along with you every step of the way.

As I mentioned, there are only a few people who actually stick around are worth the wait. If such a person does come in your life, then you should make sure that you hold onto them strongly and fight for them. Hold these people near and dear to your heart. Let them know their worth, make them realise yours.

At the end of this article, all I can tell you is that the person you were constantly thinking about throughout this article is the person you need to stay with forever. Your definition of a perfect woman is what you have with you right now. These were just signs to let you know that yes, such a person really does exist.

Your relationship will feel perfect if there’s love, trust and compassion.

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Responses

  1. marvel

    a very nice execution! I was very skeptical at reading, but perhaps only because I do not match many of these analysis points myself and fall through the grid. You seem very well structured and know the behavior of people well. But you emanate from yourself, your clear line and consistency. However, I do believe that chaotic and unstructured people can also relate the same constant love and reliability because they do not treat the relationship as the rest of their lifes. They prefer the loved one to the others, which is already unconsequent. Ultimately it is a heartache and always a gamble, no matter how you turn it. Your conclusion is grand and counts for me:
    Finding someone who really loves you and cares for you and is undoubtedly doing one of the hardest things for you. Your relationship will feel perfect when there is love, trust and compassion.

  2. JeanetteMay never make a dime from my writings

    I married a man over 21 years ago. We have lived all over the mid-western part of the United States together. Started out I was the one making all the money to support our family, but back in 2004 my multiple sclerosis took away my ability to walk. Network engineers do not fare well in a wheelchair. Now we reside in a house we are buying in Minnesota. It has a wheelchair ramp so that I can come and go as needed. He has landed his dream job now working as a motorcycle salesman with Harley Davidson in Blaine. I write using my laptop. I may never make a. dime from my writing, but he the family supported now!

  3. Sharman Burch

    All of these points are so true. I was in a first marriage for 34 years and so unhappy but stayed until the children became adults and left home.While separated, I attended my 35th high school reunion and there met a former classmate who is now my husband. He listens to me, allows me to be myself, and makes me laugh, day and night. He is the most unselfish man I’ve ever met ! He tells me he loves me every day and shows it! We’ve been married for 10 years now.

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