Tag: anxiety

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Now what if I was to tell you I needed five thousand dollars in a matter of a month’s time- a lot of people would say you are crazy. I also was one of those people. Let’s rewind some time back, to when times were bad, when days felt like prison, when I was lost…




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Background I was abused for 19 years by my father and others. Physically and emotionally. Then my dad died in ’92. For 6 more years, I would be physically and emotionally abused by my sister. At 25, I moved out, got married and I was free! From almost-daily emotional abuse. But. That day? That I…




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Apr 18

Broke

I love, Have loved, Broken things. All my life. Cars. Furniture. Houses. People. My childhood family Was IS A broken thing. My father was definitely a broken thing. My husband is, unfortunately, a broken thing. I don’t know many people who aren’t broken In some spectacular fashion. The problem with broken is– You can try…




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Every creation needs a reason to exist, no matter what the creation. It’s finding a reason for its existence that sometimes becomes the biggest challenge of all. As a former freelance network security engineer, I learned several things that transitioned into valuable life lessons. There’s always a way in. The weakest link in any security…




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I feel like the things I want aren’t big or extravagant. I don’t really ask for much and what I do ask for I feel I should get it with no problem hands down, but I don’t. Ideally my life could just be so much better. I am unhappy in every aspect of my life…




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Apr 14

Memories

The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant. – Salvador Dali You know what keeps me up at night? What keeps me tossing, turning and pacing back and forth in my room? “The realization that…




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Apr 14

Fantastic

My family and I just went on vacation to Florida. On our way back to KC, we decided to stop at Fantastic Caverns, near Springfield, MO. I took many photos (scroll to the end of the post) in the caves, beautiful colors and high contrast. I was pretty snap-happy. I was surprised that I could…




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Ownership is an illusion; an ephemeral concept, a time-bomb. The hardest life lesson to learn and accept is that when you own something, it also owns you. This is doesn’t only fall into our personal lives, but our professional ones, too. This is why I never understood the debate between “self-hosted WordPress vs. WordPress.com” No…




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I feel like I’m perched on a metaphorical fence – staring down at recovery, staring down at illness, and trying to decide – which way do I go? While perched on the fence, I can dangle my feet on both sides, but in order to progress one way or the other – for better or…




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Dear Anxiety, Piss off. While in many ways I consider you the least of my concerns, in many ways, you are the cause of all my problems. If someone had said a few years ago I was an “anxious” kind of person, I would have laughed hysterically at them. Back in the days when I…