Tag: fear

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At first it is as if I am underwater. Everything is muffled and I feel as if I am wrapped in a thick blanket that is making me too hot. But I don’t want to unwrap that blanket for fear of what is lurking outside, ready to lash out and sting. It is easier and…

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Fear can hold back many people. How many are afraid of public speaking, addressing a crowd can be petrifying to some. The medical world has created a whole chapter on this issue of fear and even created words that the classify as phobias. Some have created the terms Evangephobia or Gospelphobia as one who is…

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Ah the things I feel like I have ruined along the way. Grief and despair have this unfortunate ability to rise and grow without much feeding. A few minutes with regret and boom! They seem to tower over the whole day. I work to listen to music, read, write, and find positives to bolster the…

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Something strange happened during my last therapy session, I faced a buried part of me: my false beliefs. I assumed such exercise would leave me even more disheartened, but I was wrong, I actually embraced the hard truth. I walked in the room anxious as usual- emotional purging is never easy- I never know what…

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Have you ever been afraid of something? Real tangible fear that feels as real as if what you are fearing has actually happened? You are not alone. I get these real fear grips a lot over a lot of things. Things like having spiders in my hair, needing the loo while I’m traveling in public…

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It was dark. My vision impaired by those irritating strobe lights. All I could make out were grey body-like objects bobbing and weaving. My feet wobbled as I tried to make my way out of this grey mess. All I was getting from my mind was move but, all was not in a hurry. My…

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When my grandmother died I’d decided that life is too short to wait. I know, sounds cliché. But her death has reminded me of how much I loathe my routine, how much I despise this comfort zone I’ve gotten myself into. See, I thought if I waited, life would come find me. But I was…

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Firstly I would like to say Hi to all! What if I tell you today I woke up with a ‘prune face’ . I didn’t plan to wake up like that. So let me tell you how I felt.. Nothing, Mute, Morbid, Empty.. Now you can ask me but you started with “Nothing”. Well, all…

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We’ve all heard it before, time and again: the greatest power we possess is the power of Now.  But what does it really mean? To me, it’s quite simple, actually.  My greatest “enemy” is Time.  If I am stuck in my past, seeing my failures, shortcomings, losses and doubts, then I cannot move forward today.…

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This is what recovery from an eating disorder feels like to me. I’m living in a swamp – full of mud and quicksand, snakes and leeches, dripping with potentially lethal pitfalls, occasionally sparsely populated with beautiful flowers, bouncing bunnies and exotic ferns. I’m led to an impossibly wide river of fetid black waters and on…