Hello BayArt. It’s Sunday, so here I am.
I’ve been busy, and I’m about to work about 55 hours in the next five days, so I am honestly not looking forward to that.
That got me thinking about something I touched on in my blog, “Adventures of a Recovering Pessimist.” Yesterday, well, I think it was yesterday, I talked about how I’ve become accustomed to asking myself two questions:
- Does this look like something I want?
- Does this look like something I need?
Sometimes, I just do things without consideration of those things. Typically, that is when I am most miserable in life. Other times, what I want and need don’t seem to match, or maybe the wants and needs of another person block these things from happening.
In that latter case, I have to accept it and move on, even if it sucks. Even if I really don’t want to move on because I don’t want to quit whatever it is. Or whoever they are.
The Rolling Stones have a song about how it’s impossible to always get what you want, and that’s, I think, where question two comes into play. If I have to forego what I want, what do I need?
For most of us that are able to read this, we have the privilege of not having to worry all too much about our basic needs. We may go hungry, but not for days on end. We probably have some sort of comfortable place to sleep at night, and we probably have access to drinkable water in some way, shape, or form.
The kind of need I discuss is above that, and more intangible. Purpose, love, belonging, a certain level of comfort and contentment. Those things that give life value beyond the survival instinct.
Lately, I’ve honestly given up on love, and seek comfort of the financial persuasion. Of course, I sacrifice sleep, exercise, and diet to get this comfort.
Is it worth the cost?
That’s question three, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t talk about that one in my other blog. The reality of wants and needs are that, even if they are things that we want and need, they do come with a cost. I think we operate under the hope that things will be perfect and beautiful and nothing can ever be wrong with those things.
Well, to be completely frank… that’s utter bull shit. Life is just as messy and complicated as we are. The universe is just as messy and complicated as we are. I do think the equation balances out between good and bad because they need each other to survive.
Very Taoist, the idea of balance, but sometimes, I think western society discredits eastern practices more than it should.
When I ask myself these questions, I typically do it in moments when I feel out of balance. There’s a part of me that’s shaky, maybe stumbling, and I am wondering if the choices I’ve made have me faltering.
How do I reestablish my balance? What do I want? What do I need? What are the consequences of pursuing those things? Are they worth it?
Lately, I’m asking myself these questions a lot. I know I’m really out of balance, and I don’t feel my world is right. I am doing something I’ve needed to do, but still, my life is off kilter. It’s more than just me needing to adjust to life. Something is off, something is missing, and I need it to bring me back to my center.
How do you find your way back to center?
See you next Sunday, BayArt.