Being in a relationship is hard work all the time. Anyone who has been in a relationship can tell you that if you are in love with someone who overthinks things, the relationship can be that much harder.

It’s important that people understand their partner’s needs, wants, and desires so that they can support them in their relationship, and in life in general. When you love an overthinker, it can be hard on your head, but it’s also hard on theirs.

Thinking about everything is exhausting and it takes a special kind of person to be with someone who overthinks life.

Here’s what you need to know if you are in love with an over thinker.

It’s Not Their Fault

First things first, you need to understand that overthinking things is not something that is going to go away. They are like this because that is who they are. They cannot “fix” it.

If you are going to love someone who is an overthinker, you need to get on board with their personality and accept that they will overanalyze everything in life.

Never Tell Your Partner To “Stop Overreacting”

Telling your partner to calm down or to stop overreacting isn’t just pointless, it can also be hurtful. It shows them that you couldn’t possibly understand what they’re going through. It could also cause more overthinking on their part, making things worse.

You Need to Be Compassionate

It can be tiring and frustrating for overthinkers to live in this world. They spend so much time worrying about what might be that they don’t always get to enjoy the here and now.

If you are in love with an overthinker, you need to be able to give them their space in a way that isn’t threatening to the relationship. You have to let them come to their decisions on their own. It might take time, but they’ll get there.

Be Confident In Your Relationship

An over-thinker might become convinced that the relationship is ending when the slightest hiccup occurs. Let your partner know that you are confident in your relationship, to help reassure them.

You Need to Be Confident in the Relationship

Overthinking things can lead to problems in a relationship. For example, an overthinker might read too much into a phone call or text message. They might assume the worst is about to happen when you get angry or upset. They might need constant reassurance that you aren’t going anywhere.

This is tough sometimes, but if you know that this is just the way the overthinker in the relationship is, then you can be prepared to help.

Sometimes overthinkers put so much heart and soul into their relationships that it causes them to worry about the future. Give them some room to recognize that things are okay between the two of you. And always say what you mean.

You Need to be Good at Communicating

In order to avoid a series of fights in your relationship, you should be good at communicating your thoughts and feelings and be ready to explain your reasoning using clear language that indicates you take ownership for your actions.

Overthinkers will have a field day with cryptic messages or forgotten birthdays so don’t give them any ammunition to think on. Be clear about what you want and need so there is no second guessing on the over thinker’s part.

Show That You Care

To an over-thinker, small things mean the most. Bringing your partner breakfast in bed, grabbing their favorite take-out on your way home or leaving them notes around the house could make their entire week. They will never take small actions for granted.

Don’t Withhold Details

If you’re planning a special date night or a surprise of some kind, don’t leak out details, but not give us the whole story— that’s just cruel. By not telling us the whole story, you’re giving our minds permission to go to work filling in the details, and then if the surprise isn’t as fantastic as expected, your over-thinker will be let down, If the surprise is amazing, and the over-thinker had already decided it would be kind of sucky, then the goodness of the surprise will be tarnished a little. I didn’t say we over-thinkers always made perfect sense.

Show That You Care

To an over-thinker, small things mean the most. Bringing your partner breakfast in bed, grabbing their favorite take-out on your way home or leaving them notes around the house could make their entire week. They will never take small actions for granted.

Overthinking doesn’t make them crazy

Everyone thinks too much sometimes. But for those people who do it on an everyday basis, they’re not crazy. They just analyze and problem solve more than the average person.

They’re still compassionate, kind and fun.

Sometimes you just need to be patient when they’re feeling anxious and over stimulated. And the majority of the time, they’re simply overthinking because they’re trying to protect you and themselves.

They’re ultra genuine, and they want you to be too

An overthinker wants to believe that there’s good in everyone, which can get them into trouble at times. In a time of Tinder and Internet hooks ups, it’s almost ‘cool’ not to care. But they need you to be different.

They believe in authenticity and bringing out the best in others. But if you’re going to play games and not be there for them when they need it most, then you need to step away. More complications are what they don’t need in their life.

They still believe in the one

Despite all the baggage that modern day dating brings, they still believe that you’re going to be the fairy tale partner that sweeps them off their feet. But if you don’t have the same motivations in a relationships, you need to let them know. That will eliminate hours of overthinking different scenarios in their head. Something they don’t want to go through again.

Responses

  1. marvel

    I find over-thinkers very sympathetic. There are a lot of beautiful sides to discover, like pay attention on small things and giving them time. The problematic sides must surely be adjusted, but surely every human being has problematic sides, not only over-thinkers!

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