Everyone knows the feeling of being under pressure — having deadlines at work, throwing an event, trying to achieve lofty goals.
People who are hard on themselves go through quite the struggle. We wish we could say we’re ambitious over-achievers because that’s who we are and not because we’re trying to validate ourselves.
If you are too hard on yourself, you will be able to relate to these 10 things (now extended, more than 10) .
We don’t like asking for help, but we are more than happy to help anyone who needs it.
Because it makes us feel weak and incapable of helping ourself. And when we ask for it, we feel like we are committing a crime. We want to do everything by ourself and we don’t want to cause anyone any inconvenience.
We can’t fall asleep peacefully.
Bedtime is the worst for us because we replay every single interaction in our head and how it could’ve been better or what we should have said instead. And sometimes we remember things we’ve done years ago and beat ourself up for it.
We’re our own worst enemies.
It came from being bullied and harassed in the past. All those toxic words sliced through our heart, making a home in the way we see ourselves. Whenever we mess up, we play the blame game mostly on ourselves.
We want to live life to the fullest.
We don’t want to have an average life; we want to have amazing, happy, successful lives. We are hard on ourselves because it takes a lot of work to achieve greatness.
We are never satisfied.
No matter how talented we are or how much praise we’re getting, we will always feel like we could do better or our work isn’t good enough. The smallest error could mean the end of the world to us.
We treat social situations like exams.
We mentally facepalm ourselves after a conversation – sometimes physically after said conversation – because we tend to treat social situations like taking exams. We feel like we have to get every word and sentence right as if it were a formula.
Compliments make us feel awkward.
Even though we work really hard, we are always surprised to receive a compliment. If someone compliments us, we automatically think they’re just being nice to us or they don’t mean what they say. And of course, we rarely give ourself any compliments.
We say sorry a lot.
If we let someone down, we apologize immediately. We understand that we have made a mistake and the only thing to do is apologize and try to fix it. Even when the other person forgives us, we struggle to believe that they actually have, because we expect other people to be hard on us too.
We fixate on past mistakes.
People who are hard on themselves always remember their mistakes because they hope that keeping the mistakes in their mind means they are less likely to make the same mistakes again. Sometimes it’s tough, but it’s also useful — we never make the same mistakes twice!
We are over-thinkers.
When we imagine a scenario, we always think of every single possible outcome. This means we often worry about problems that may never happen, but we can also think about our bright future and all of the possibilities it contains.
We give ourselves pep talks.
We give ourselves positive pep talks to prepare for everything from job interviews to cooking a new recipe. We tell ourselves that everything will be fine, and it normally it is — probably because of our awesome pep talk.
We are not hard on other people, only ourselves.
We are tough on ourselves, but we really hate the idea of being mean to other people. We know how difficult it can be to receive criticism and we don’t want to hurt or upset them. Instead, we try to be positive and encouraging to other people so they feel happy about their achievements.
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Mindful self-compassion is the foundation of emotional healing—being aware in the present moment when we’re struggling with feelings of inadequacy, despair, confusion, and other forms of stress and responding with kindness and understanding (self-compassion).