I often write about the things I believe we all should be doing, trying or experimenting with in order to maximize our success and happiness. However, it’s not always the things we do that make the biggest difference in our lives; it’s often the things we avoid doing that have the biggest effect. As human beings, we have a strong aversion to not doing; we feel that in order to produce results, there must be an initial action.
However, because we are almost always doing something, piling on more and more often has a negative effect, rather than a positive one. Among the mentally strong, there are several actions that are avoided in order to produce the greatest benefit in the shortest period of time.
These actions are those that the mentally strong avoid, and that we should consider adapting as our own:
- They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves. They don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life, work on changing what can be changed, and keep in mind that life isn’t always easy or fair.
- They don’t dwell on the past. Focus on the present moment and on the near future. They understand that the past is out of our control and the far future is about as predictable as the weather this winter.
- They don’t focus on things they can’t control. They recognize that sometimes the only thing they can control is their attitude. After all, inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow an uncontrollable event or person to control your emotions. Learn more peace and courage to move on in life at acceptance and serenity
- They don’t remain in their comfort zone. A comfort zone is a dangerous place, a dark abyss where anyone who remains there for too long loses his or herself entirely. Staying within your comfort zone is giving up on life.
- They don’t worry about pleasing everyone. They recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be compassionate and fair, but can handle other people being disappointed if they didn’t perfectly live up to their unfair expectations. The bottom line is, pleasing everyone is impossible. May the bridges you burn light your way.
- They don’t resist change. They welcome positive change into their life and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt. Change happens for a reason. Roll with it! It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
- They don’t make the same mistakes over and over. Make a mistake once, okay. Make a mistake twice… not so okay. Reflecting can ensure you don’t repeat your mistakes. It’s important to study what went wrong, what you could have done better, and how to do it differently next time.
- They don’t keep a closed mind. You don’t know everything. Even the things you believe yourself to know are likely to not be entirely true. If you keep a closed mind, you are preventing yourself from learning new material. If you stop learning, you stop living.
- They don’t focus on their weaknesses. Although working on our weaknesses does have its benefits, it’s more important to focus on banking on our strengths. The most well-rounded person is not the person that gets the furthest in life. Being average in all regards makes you average. However, mastering a certain skill set or trait will allow you to beat the competition with less effort.
- They don’t expect immediate results. Patience isn’t just a virtue; it is the virtue. Most people don’t fail because they aren’t good enough, or aren’t capable of winning or succeeding. Most people fail because they are impatient and give up before their time has come.
- They don’t let fleeting temptations distract them from their dreams. Don’t let the temptations of today distract you from what you deserve. Do what you have to do now so you can do what you want to do later.
- They don’t hang on every word other people say about them. They listen to their own heart and intuition, not the peanut gallery. So try not to take things other people say about you too personally. What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you. Ultimately, you can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you. All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.