If you want to feel less negative during the day, create better relationships, and score some amazing career opportunities, then you’re going to want to do what you can to attract more love and positivity into your life. And that usually involves changing how you think.
Yes, it also includes positive daily affirmations and gratitude lists. But there’s so much more you can do when it comes to changing the vibes you give off, attracting better (read: less toxic) people, and carving out an amazing, positive life for yourself.
There’s obviously a lot of work that goes into reaching these goals outside of just thinking good thoughts. But the change does seem to have roots in the way we think and the energy we give off. “Aside from the fact we feel better about life when we are focused on the positive, we often are more productive, more likable, and more likely to attract positive people and opportunities in our lives.
So, whatever you want — be it better friends, a supportive partner, more job offers, or simply peace of mind and a less crappy day — positivity is the place to start. Here are some ways to bring more of it into your life.
1. Spend less time with negative people
If one of your friends constantly drags you down, or you can’t seem to talk to your parents without getting into a fight, call it quits for a while. Limit your contact with them or just cut off ties, if you can. Once you get rid of the negative, unhealthy, or toxic people in your life, the sooner you can feel lighter and happier. And as you become lighter, more loving people will start to come into your life.
2. Repeat daily affirmations
Instead of focusing on negative thoughts — or worse, giving into them — start filling your head with positive daily affirmations that inspire you to see things differently. What they do is shift your energy so you can change your thinking, becoming open to positivity. As you open up to the positive affirmations and start feeling more positive, over time, things in your life will change because you have changed your attitude.
My daily affirmations are:
“I forgive you, I am sorry and I love you”
“Even if I am [fill in the blank], I will [fill in the blank] because I accept and love myself completely”. For example, even if I am disappointed, I will listen to my sadness and will learn what I need from it because I accept and love myself completely.
“Every day I make a commitment to myself to learning how to learn to love me”
I practice these every day when I wake up and say my affirmations consciously and out loud. Sometimes when I need help focusing, I use a mirror.
3. Build a supportive network
While this definitely won’t happen over night, it’s something you should start working on ASAP. Look at your circle of friends. Are you supportive of one another? Do you have each other’s back? Knowing that you have a few people you can count on when your head isn’t quite right will bring you up when you are down.
4. Put yourself out there more often
One way to build your support network, and attract more love into your life, is by going out. Yes… you’ll have to leave your house if you want to see some positive change. (Though, it is incredibly worthwhile to stay in and be alone from time to time). Do not let whatever is going on in your life impact your ability to engage with people and partake in activities. Just get out there — join a club, go to that meet up, visit a friend — and see what happens.
5. Try to feel more grateful
6. Read some self help books
The more you can fill your brain with this whole positivity thing, the better. And one of the best ways to do that is with self help-style books. Books like The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Llama or The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle are fantastic ones to start off with. Get your hands on one of them, and see if it doesn’t change how you approach life.
My other self-help favorite books are:
The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck
Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson
The Enlightened Gardener by Sydney Banks
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Blink by Malcolm Gladwell
You are welcome to visit my library for more reading inspiration.
7. Pursue those goals
People who attract good things to their life are usually the ones who are happily chasing after a goal — and doing cool things along the way. As Hooper says, “By setting a specific personal goal, your life can have a sense of purpose and direction — two things that can attract lots of positive juju in life.”
8. Try to be less judgmental
Nothing can ruin your day, or drag you down, faster than judgmental eyes. People can feel that and it is contagious. Judging others is the opposite of being grateful. So don’t stare daggers at the annoying person in line at the coffee shop, or hate on whoever’s holding up traffic. It’s just not worth it.
9. Choose your news wisely
If you feel super affected by the news (and really, who doesn’t?) then it may be time to purposefully follow people who are talking about good things. The truth is the world is full of good people doing amazing things. We just don’t hear about them. Follow positive people on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. Be inspired by all the wonderful people out there. Share their posts, encourage them, and see how good you feel.
10. Be as flexible as possible
Even if life isn’t going your way, try to go with the flow whenever possible. If you are easy to deal with, you will start attracting people into your life who will resonate with that energy. The more flexible and adaptable you become, the more people will come into your life and there will also be more opportunities coming your way.
11. Make therapy a priority
If you have any personal hangups, anxieties, or depression, it can obviously affect how you feel. But also who and what you attract into your life. So, if you can, find a therapist and begin the process of working through things. We can spot you and help you get back on track so you can create and maintain a more positive, loving, and fulfilled life.
12. Pay attention to the vibes you’re giving off
Don’t feel obligated to smile, if you’re not feeling it. But do pay attention to the energy you’re putting out into the world, and what it might be attracting. The energy you give off is generally what you get back from people. So smile, put your shoulders back, keep your head up, and be as open as possible.
13. Take a break from social media
One of the fastest ways to rob yourself of positivity is to compare yourself to others. As David Brudö, CEO and co-founder of the personal development app Remente tells me, it’s important to stop scrolling through the likes of Facebook and Instagram and give yourself a conscious break from the photos of other people’s lives. You’ll feel so much better as a result.
14. Practice mindfulness throughout the day
There’s nothing very likable, or fun, about dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. And that’s why mindfulness is such a big deal when it comes to positivity. “Regret about the past and worrying about the future will create a negative environment for yourself and the people around you,” says Ryan Potter LCSW, MCAP, ICADC. “Many of the things that keep us in a negative mind state are out of our control. We can use mindfulness to avoid these mental traps, and stay positive in the moment.”
15. Give what you want to receive
If you want more love in your life, be more loving. And if you want to feel more grateful, practice gratitude every day. It really works in any situation. Say you want to get more respect from your co-workers, when you make an effort to treat them with respect, you are conveying your expectations for the relationship, which increases the likelihood that they will respond in kind.
Do these things, and I promise you’ll notice little changes for the better.
I help clients who suffer from PTSD symptoms create happier lives using non-invasive PTSD intervention techniques, emotional balance assessments and happiness coaching retreats, online and in person, for individuals and small groups. My team and I run our retreats in the beautiful Spanish Costa del Sol.
Visit us today at Gaia by the Med