I will be turning 29 in a few days and that will be the start of the most-awaited countdown to 30!
I can say that my 20s are so far the most beautiful, unforgettable and fascinating years of my life. As I look back, it has been a pinwheel of extremes: extreme happiness and extreme sadness; and everything in between.
I always get ‘birthday blues’ before my birthday. I get really emotional. I cannot remember when it started but it has been perennial.
Birthday is another year of chances and opportunities. Another year to get older; and wiser. I used to dream of a big house with several bedrooms and bathrooms with a swimming pool and a garage. However, I crumpled and threw that dream to a bin. Recently, I have been practising minimalism. I realise that I want to live simply. I do not need any unhealthy objects that may clutter my space and my life. In my previous post (Does it spark joy?), I’ve mentioned that I have removed things that did not spark joy. I still remember that idyllic moment. For every piece of cloth or object I held, I took my time, caressed it, asked Does it spark joy?, thanked it and catapulted it to the hamper. It feels good now. I feel light and more comfortable. A feeling of eminent freedom and space has enveloped me. Though, I am still keeping the blue-coloured roof, white-painted walls, wooden gate and wooden floors idea of a house. Truth is, I do not wish for an enormous house; I pray for a happy home.
I also pray for quite a few things for my birthday. My wishes are mostly for my family and loved ones. I have my personal prayers; but, my prayers are not entirely for myself. I guess that is pretty normal as you age. Your wishes and hopes are for other people and for the world. You get to be selfless, compassionate and forgiving.
I plan to celebrate my 29th by eating in a buffet restaurant and visiting the church. There won’t be any mass because it will fall on a Tuesday. Nevertheless, the church is still part of my itinerary. After that, back to the apartment and Skype with my family. Yes, I won’t attend school. I feel that I owe it to myself to embrace my special day and spend quality time.
Looking back in my 28 years of existence, it has been an incredibly marvellous journey; definitely inspiring, vibrant and scintillating. Let me share with you 13 reasons why my life is pretty riveting.
- I’ve always got the things I need at the right time and right place.
- I came out to my mum and to a few of my loved ones and they still love me.
- I got the chance to love and be loved.
- I’ve forgiven people who hurt me and learnt to be patient and kind.
- I’ve hit rock bottom many times and got back up.
- I’ve died several times yet I still chose to live.
- I am choosing peace over anything else.
- I am a dreamer, planner, risk-taker and a fearless human being.
- I’ve learnt to be courageous and to fight for people and the things I love.
- I have an imperfect family and after so many years I made a decision not to tolerate their dependence on me. I will always love them, though.
- I’ve learnt to stand for what I want and to weave my future.
- I’ve learnt to do things at my own pace. May it be on healing, moving on, dreaming, dating and travelling.
- I’ve learnt to love, respect, appreciate, complete and forgive myself.
I have completed my bucket list. The next thing to do is to check them all before I reach 30. I still have a long way to go. I am thrilled to be 29. Though at times, I feel restless and impatient; I still look forward with positivity to new doors, opportunities and whatever life and the universe may bring. I believe that the best things are yet to come.