29

I will be turning 29 in a few days and that will be the start of the most-awaited countdown to 30!

I can say that my 20s are so far the most beautiful, unforgettable and fascinating years of my life. As I look back, it has been a pinwheel of extremes: extreme happiness and extreme sadness; and everything in between.

I always get ‘birthday blues’ before my birthday. I get really emotional. I cannot remember when it started but it has been perennial.

Birthday is another year of chances and opportunities. Another year to get older; and wiser. I used to dream of a big house with several bedrooms and bathrooms with a swimming pool and a garage. However, I crumpled and threw that dream to a bin. Recently, I have been practising minimalism. I realise that I want to live simply. I do not need any unhealthy objects that may clutter my space and my life. In my previous post (Does it spark joy?), I’ve mentioned that I have removed things that did not spark joy. I still remember that idyllic moment. For every piece of cloth or object I held, I took my time, caressed it, asked Does it spark joy?, thanked it and catapulted it to the hamper. It feels good now. I feel light and more comfortable. A feeling of eminent freedom and space has enveloped me. Though, I am still keeping the blue-coloured roof, white-painted walls, wooden gate and wooden floors idea of a house.  Truth is, I do not wish for an enormous house; I pray for a happy home.

I also pray for quite a few things for my birthday. My wishes are mostly for my family and loved ones. I have my personal prayers; but, my prayers are not entirely for myself. I guess that is pretty normal as you age. Your wishes and hopes are for other people and for the world. You get to be selfless, compassionate and forgiving.

I plan to celebrate my 29th by eating in a buffet restaurant and visiting the church. There won’t be any mass because it will fall on a Tuesday. Nevertheless, the church is still part of my itinerary. After that, back to the apartment and Skype with my family. Yes, I won’t attend school. I feel that I owe it to myself to embrace my special day and spend quality time.

Looking back in my 28 years of existence, it has been an incredibly marvellous journey; definitely inspiring, vibrant and scintillating. Let me share with you 13 reasons why my life is pretty riveting.

  1. I’ve always got the things I need at the right time and right place.
  2. I came out to my mum and to a few of my loved ones and they still love me.
  3. I got the chance to love and be loved.
  4. I’ve forgiven people who hurt me and learnt to be patient and kind.
  5. I’ve hit rock bottom many times and got back up.
  6. I’ve died several times yet I still chose to live.
  7. I am choosing peace over anything else.
  8. I am a dreamer, planner, risk-taker and a fearless human being.
  9. I’ve learnt to be courageous and to fight for people and the things I love.
  10. I have an imperfect family and after so many years I made a decision not to tolerate their dependence on me. I will always love them, though.
  11. I’ve learnt to stand for what I want and to weave my future.
  12. I’ve learnt to do things at my own pace. May it be on healing, moving on, dreaming, dating and travelling.
  13. I’ve learnt to love, respect, appreciate, complete and forgive myself.

I have completed my bucket list. The next thing to do is to check them all before I reach 30. I still have a long way to go. I am thrilled to be 29. Though at times, I feel restless and impatient; I still look forward with positivity to new doors, opportunities and whatever life and the universe may bring. I believe that the best things are yet to come.

Cheers!

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