“Enough of question answer round, now it’s the time to put my point.” I thought to interrupt him when he threw 5 consecutive questions in our first meeting which was about to choose life partners! One of the pre-processes of arranged marriage system in India where we decide the future over a sip of coffee!
Finally, I started putting forward my views in front of him.
“Hey, I feel our choices match, our likes-dislikes are quite similar. You liked my geniality as you said and I liked your sagacious, confident nature too. It’s nice talking to you. But before we proceed I have few things to clear out. If we are on the same page, we can discuss with our families then.
“Please…” He insisted politely.
“After marriage, we need to renovate this house as soon as possible. You see it just has one room as of now where we can sleep. My mother can sleep in living room but I would not prefer that so we just need one more room.” I paused for a while.
“What..? room..? this house? I am not getting actually. Why we will sleep in this room?” He looked confused.
“Where else we can sleep? This room is mine and once you come to my home after marriage, we will occupy this only.” I said pointing towards my cozy, girlish bedroom.
“Wait…why I would come to your home? You can stay at my home with my parents.” He interrupted in between.
“No, I can not come to your home as my mother is alone and I am not that cruel child right? who leaves her parents once married! Can you leave your parents for me?” I questioned him.
“My home is big enough with 3 rooms and we can occupy one of them, why to leave my parents?” He could not complete the answer properly.
“First, It’s not about big home. Not even about leaving your parents. I will never ask you to leave your parents even. Similarly I want you to never ask me to leave my mother as she is alone and she could never stay alone till date. Secondly, I can afford bigger home if I wish so”
After a while I put forward a fair deal. “Let’s do one thing. You leave your parents and I leave mine too. We will stay somewhere nearby to both of them but in a separate house. This way we both feel justified and we can also look after them. If people think otherway, let them do because we both would be leaving our own homes after wedding. What say?”
He was still dumbstruck. A smooth fine tuned conversation between us suddenly turned to silent mode. After few minutes, he babbled again.
“But why you want this? Why we have to change so much for a marriage?”
This raised me little louder. “Okay, do you have any better option? Tell me what you want then?”
“Simple…..He hesitated and continued. You come to my home like all other girls do. What’s problem in that? Why to make this so complex? We will surely take care of your mother too, don’t worry. This is a tradition. Moreover, even if I agree, who will support us? Not even my parents and this….this society!” I just stopped him right there.
“Well, the same offer which you just proposed, I am giving you, will you be ready then?”
“No” He answered quickly this time.
“Why would I accept your offer? I still have one last alternative. I can live in your home with my mom or you all can come to my home, we really don’t mind. After all staying together is happiness.”
“You’re crazy” He uttered.
“Me? really? I mean can you explain to me what’s so crazy about it? Since how many years women are doing this for men and were they crazy? How many of them sacrifice their careers just to be with you guys?” I continued waving my feminism flag…
Even if SHE is of a single parent, she has to follow the bull shit traditions? Where it is written that a woman has to leave her home, willingly or unwillingly, just for the sake of finding a partner? Which scientist invented this merriage protocol? Why can men not do all these what we were doing since ages? After all, you also want to marry me…?! isn’t it a two-way process?
If a man leaves his parents for his wife, its gonna be a damn huge problem in his families. If a man does this with all his desire or understanding, presumably his wife would be blamed equally. Society creates havoc of such unnecessary matters all the times and people blindly or forcefully follow it. Everyone knows, society is faster than any news channel to criticize others and chew futile rumors. No one is interested in reality or humanity. No one dares to take initiatives and those who do, are betrayed. Why people just don’t live and let others live!?
If you can’t do something for me, how do you expect me to do that for you? Just a few meetings or phone calls are not enough to decide who would be my life partner, certainly! If I
ask talk about the rights I deserved, which men dont even have to think of, I would be tagged a feminist because even you-a probable life partner, would never try to understand this considering these as simple norms!
Marriage is not about leaving anyone’s parents, choices, views or just one sided sacrifices, its about finding a soul mate with unconditional love! Mutual understanding of those two is so enough.
I stood up and inhaled deep.
“Is it too much?….” I smiled and asked looking at his furrowed face.
He was yet speechless. I assumed one more time we rejected each other!
It may be easy to find a partner but its hard to find a soul mate.