47+ Best Alcohol Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Inspirational alcohol quotes will challenge the way you think, and help guide you through any life experience.

Most Famous Alcohol Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. – Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald

I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful. – Jim Carrey

Its liquor is like the sweetest dew from Heaven. – Lu Yu

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. – G.K. Chesterton

Candy is dandy. But liquor is quicker. – Ogden Nash

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. – F. Scott Fitzgerald, ‘The Great Gatsby’

The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. – William Butler Yeats

I feel bad for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway

All is fair in love and beer. – Kurt Paradis

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. – W.C. Fields

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. – Steve Fergosi

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? – Steven Wright

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin

Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. – Catherine Zandonella

I’m on a whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already. – Tommy Cooper

Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it. – Homer Simpson

Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems. – The Simpsons

If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. – Dean Martin

If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs. – David Daye

Love makes the world go round? Not at all. Whiskey makes it go round twice as fast. – Compton Mackenzie

I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. – Rodney Dangerfield

He that drinks fast, pays slow. – Benjamin Franklin

Whisky is liquid sunshine. – George Bernard Shaw

A bumper of good liquor will end a contest quicker than justice, judge, or vicar. – Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness. – Seneca

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost. – Jonathan Swift

Almost anything can be preserved in alcohol, except health, happiness, and money. – Mary Wilson Little

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness. – Oscar Wilde

One key symptom of alcoholism is that the individual comes to need a drink for every mood–one to calm down, one to perk up, one to celebrate, one to deal with disappointment, and so on. – Phyllis A. Balch

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument. – Robert A. Heinlein

If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic. – Anonymous

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. – Benjamin Franklin

Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is. – Philip Rosenthal

It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard-drinking people. You can hold your tongue and, moreover, you can time any little irregularity of your own so that everybody else is so blind that they don’t see or care. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts. – Finley Peter Dunne

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples. – Warren Ellis

There are only two real ways to get ahead today – sell liquor or drink it. – W. C. Fields

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. – George Bernard Shaw

Drink ’til the ground looks blue. – Thomas Heywood

Drink washes off the daub and discovers the man. – Thomas Fuller

One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough. – James Thurber

Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. – Louis Pasteur

Wine hath drowned more men than the sea. – Thomas Fuller

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