Hanging in

I feel like I’m barely holding on at the moment. Clinging on with my fingernails to whatever I can. I am exhausted. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. Nothing left to give. And yet ironically, not sleeping. Isn’t that always the way? I swear if I could get some sleep, I’d have a slightly firmer grip on reality. … Read more


For the fourth time in my life, I find myself going through the intimate possessions of a family member. It is a stark reminder I should never keep in my possession, things I do not want my nearest and dearest to find. Lucky for me, I don’t have drawers full of sex toys, illicit drugs, … Read more

The lure of the dark side

If the universe was reasonable, it would allow me to “fully recover” before throwing curve balls in my direction. Unfortunately the universe isn’t reasonable. I have made progress. I really, really believe this. But I am far from recovered. And the moment the balls are curving towards me, there is an overwhelming desire to return … Read more

A century in the making

My grandmother was called Peace as a child. She was the youngest of three girls – the formidable McDougall girls. Her closest sister was born in 1914 and grandma in 1918 – war and peace. That wasn’t her real name though – her real name was June. Peace suited her. The first-born was self-assured, confident, intellectual … Read more