Bartender is someone who makes and serves drinks in a bar. Inspirational bartender quotes will encourage growth in life, make you wiser and broaden your perspective.
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Famous Bartender Quotes
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Albert Einstein
The greatest accomplishment of a bartender lies in his ability to exactly suit his customer. Harry Gordon Johnson
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart
Bartenders want to give you good service, but they also want to give everyone a good service. If the bar is slow, then the bartender will be able to spend more time with you. Cheryl Charming
I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated. Al McGuire
A professional bartender is someone who can do his or her best work when he or she doesn’t feel like it. Bruce Tomlinson
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde
Be humble, and pretend you’re a bartender in the tavern of life. James McBride
There are few professions whose primary objective is to advance the cause of humanity rather than simply to make money or accrue power. Among this limited group of humanitarians I would number teachers, nurses, bookstore owners, and bartenders. Jack McDevitt
In wine, there is wisdom; in beer, there is Freedom; in water, there is bacteria. Benjamin Franklin
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield
A good bartender has to be part philosopher, part psychiatrist, part psychic. Al the Bartender
By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth knowing. Don Marquis
That’s the magic of being a bartender the sleight of hand at play, to hide all the work and serve up all the pleasure. Jim Meehan
I’m a bartender. I like recipes. They’re concretes. Was the drink recipe for seduction one shot charm and two shots self deception, shaken, not stirred? Karen Marie Moning
Bartenders recognize through practice what liquid increments look like in a standard mixing glass. Dave Arnold
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name and you’ve never been to that bar before. Zach Galifianakis
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. Albert Einstein
Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows. James Crumley
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. Jim Bishop
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
Will there be any bartenders up there in Heaven, will the pubs never close? Richard Thompson
If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos. Richard Kadrey
You know you’re in trouble, when the bartender cries. Michael Peterson
A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what’ll it be? The duck doesn’t answer because it’s a duck. Jodi Picoult
A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good. Ernest Rutherford
I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was. Brandon Routh
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. Jack Lemmon
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
An efficient bartenders first aim should be to please his customers, paying particular attention to meet the individual wishes of those whose tastes and desires he has already watched and ascertained; and, with those whose peculiarities he has had no opportunity of learning, he should politely inquire how they wish their beverages served, and use his best judgment in endeavoring to fulfill their desires to their entire satisfaction. In this way he will not fail to acquire popularity and success. Jerry Thomas
An American goes into an Irish pub. He said to the bartender, Whiskey and ice. The bartender said, There’s no ice. The American said, I’ll have water. He said, You can’t. The water’s frozen. Hal Roach
Yeah, I know I’m ugly I said to a bartender, Make me a zombie. He said God beat me to it. Rodney Dangerfield
He had a habit of remarking to bartenders that he didn’t see any sense in mixing whiskey with water since the whiskey was already wet. Joseph Mitchell
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. Dean Martin
I mean, I’ve had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I’ve never even thought about, and they’re right. Todd Barry
Only one way to cover a story like this, and make that a double, bartender, please. P. J. O’Rourke
Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you’re still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it’s not that much fun. John Hodgman
I could finally quit my job as a bartender and stop dreaming that I might be Superman and know that I was. Then I started thinking about how cool it was. Brandon Routh
The difference between a rich drunk and a poor one is that a rich one tells his problems to a psychiatrist and a poor one tells his to a bartender. Ray Foley
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
The professional bartender has the convenience of a daily fresh produce delivery to the restaurant or bar room door. Jeffrey Morgenthaler
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. W. C. Fields
No one ever made history in the living room. And without a bartender, who at home are you going to tell your troubles to? Your dog? Steven Kates
Anorexia was there for me before I got into modeling, but because of the arena and the demands, the disease really got out of control for me. It’s like being an alcoholic and going and being a bartender. Carre Otis
I was a good bartender. I wouldn’t say I was the best bartender in New York, but I could hold my own. Samira Wiley
I toured Ontario in the winter of 48, in a touring company of The Drunkard, in which I played the bartender. Jonathan Frid
A theory that you can’t explain to a bartender is probably no damn good. Ernest Rutherford
I was a bartender in New York and I overheard this girl saying she made $3000 doing a commercial. A kid at work told me, Hey, I know this director and he’d really like you!So I walked into this guy’s office and was like I was thinking maybe I could make $3000 and he hired me for commercials, short films, like 15 jobs in a row. Pauley Perrette
I’m a bartender. I like recipes. They’re concrete. Karen Marie Moning
Now I need to take a piece of wood and make it sound like the railroad track, but I also had to make it beautiful and lovable so that a person playing it would think of it in terms of his mistress, a bartender, his wife, a good psychiatrist whatever. Les Paul
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of scotch. W. C. Fields
There was a sad fellow over on a bar stool talking to the bartender, who was polishing a glass and listening with that plastic smile people wear when they are trying not to scream. Raymond Chandler
Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven. Mark Twain
Went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. Surprise me, I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife. Rodney Dangerfield
Lady bartenders live a tougher life than anybody knows. James Crumley
Anyway, whacking a surly bartender ain’t much of a crime. Larry McMurtry
I love to go to the bar close by for a good espresso and have a chat with the bartender. Ludovico Einaudi
A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, what’ll it be? The duck doesn’t answer because it’s a duck. Jodi Picoult
Hey bartender, hey man, look here. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer. Koko Taylor
Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, Where’d you get the pig? Guy says, This is a duck. Bartender says, I was talking to the duck. Rodney Dangerfield
You know you’re in trouble when the bartender cries. Michael Peterson
Only one marriage I regret. I remember after I got that marriage license I went across from the license bureau to a bar for a drink. The bartender said, What will you have, sir? And I said, A glass of hemlock. Ernest Hemingway
Will there be any bartenders up there in heaven, will the pubs never close? Richard Thompson
Hey bartender, hey man, look here. Give us one more, two more, three more glasses of beer. Koko Taylor
My dad was a cop. My mom worked at various jobs she worked as a homemaker, a bank teller, a bartender. Lee Daniels
It’s true though time moves in its own special way in the middle of the night, the bartender says, loudly striking a book match and lighting a cigarette. You can’t fight it. Haruki Murakami
For the bartender, the weight of the finished beverage isn’t important, but the volume is. Dave Arnold
I mean, I’ve had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I’ve never even thought about, and they’re right. Todd Barry
I studied international relations and economics at the University of Virginia. I paid my way by working as a bartender in the summer and at three part-time jobs during the year. Jacqueline Novogratz
Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven. Mark Twain
I’ve always thought that bartenders and hairstylists would be great interrogators because all day long they have to listen to people talk. They could probably make some fugitive spill the beans. Joelle Carter
I was frustrated because I couldn’t get going, as I was trying to figure out how to make films. I had various jobs, I taught a sat class, I was a bartender, I had a day job at an office and was making short films. David O. Russell
I wouldn’t recommend being a musician to anyone. It’s not glamorous. It’s a lot of being dirty, not eating, playing for five people and one of them is the bartender. Dan Reynolds
If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos. Richard Kadrey
My dad was a bartender that worked banquets. So that meant holidays, weekends, nights. Marco Rubio
The bartenders are the regular band of Jack, and the heavenly drummer who looks up to the sky with blue eyes, with a beard, is wailing beer caps of bottles and jamming on the cash register and everything is going to the beat It’s the beat generation, its béat, it’s the beat to keep, it’s the beat of the heart, it’s being beat and down in the world and like oldtime lowdown. Jack Kerouac
There are few professions whose primary objective is to advance the cause of humanity rather than simply to make money or accrue power. Among this limited group of humanitarians, I would number bartenders, teachers, nurses, and bookstore owners. Jack McDevitt
Placing a wedge of lime in the neck of a Corona bottle helps sell those beers. And where did that ritual come from? One story has it that two bartenders in California were curious how fast a ritual could spread. Astonishingly fast, they discovered. Martin Lindstrom
A bartender can’t be made overnight, though, and a headful of recipes and facts will get you only so far. Ray Foley
Everyone feels like they would love to be a really cool bartender in a really cool bar, but you’re still surrounded by people who want to destroy themselves with alcohol. When you look at it that way, it’s not that much fun. John Hodgman
I was a bartender for four years, and that was the best training that I had for learning how to approach people. Maggie Haberman
The basic thing is to be humble, and pretend you’re a bartender in the tavern of life. Don’t get too comfortable and don’t really listen to anybody else. Don’t stand around with a bunch of writers and talk about writing. You know when you see plumbers at a plumbers convention, usually they’re not talking about plumbing they’re talking about whatever it is that two men happen to talk about. They’re talking about sports, their wives and children. I just tell my students, don’t talk about writing too much, just go out and do it. Find out whatever you need to get to the mainland. James McBride
A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. Jim Bishop
If you truly love me, kill the bartender. Quentin Crisp
