97+ Best Beer Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Inspirational beer quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

Famous Beer Quotes

A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. – Winston S. Churchill

A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure. – Czech Proverbs

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. – W.C. Fields

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober. – William Butler Yeats

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. – Kinky Friedman

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. – W.C. Fields

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I’m under the table, after four I’m under my host. – Dorothy Parker

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. – Anonymous

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. – Amrose Bierce

24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. – H.L. Mencken

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. – Dave Barry

Always do sober what you said you’d do drink. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. – Ernest Hemingway

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. – Richard Braunstein

He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. – Benjamin Franklin

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. – George Bernard Shaw

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. – Winston Churchill

Scotch: Because one doesn’t solve the world’s problems over white wine. – Anonymous

Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat! – Eleanor Early

Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

For a quart of Ale is a meal for a King. – William Shakespeare

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. – Ernest Hemingway

Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. – Al Bundy

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts. – Finley Peter Dunne

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. – Frank Zappa

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around. – Chelsea Handler

When we drink we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. When we fall asleep we commit no sin. When we commit no sin we go to heaven. Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! – Brian O’Rourke

Beer drinking doesn’t do half the harm as love-making. – Anonymous

What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? – W.C. Fields

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry

To some it’s a six-pack. To me it’s a Support Group. – Leo Durocher

Beer has food value, but food has no beer value. – Anonymous

Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry

Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health. – Thomas Jefferson

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. – W.C. Fields

Beer is good food. – John Goodman

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver – Jack Handey

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say scientists’ I meant Irish people. – Tina Fey

Beer is proof that God loves us. – Ben Franklin

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart

Most people hate the taste of beer to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice. – Winston Churchill

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. – Dave Barry

Beer may not solve your problems, but neither will water or milk. – Wiley

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. – Oscar Wilde

Beer is the reason we get up each afternoon. – Ray McNeill

Remember ‘I’ before ‘E’, except in Budweiser. – Professor Irwin Corey

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. – Henry Lawson

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman

Beer is a wholesome liquor ..it abounds with nourishment. – Dr. Benjamin Rush

Beer will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer. – Freddie Freak

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

And God said, “Let there be vodka!” And He saw that it was good. Then God said, “Let there be light!” And then He said, “Whoa – too much light. – Anonymous

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. – Abraham Lincoln

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? – Stephen Wright

He who drinks beer sleeps well. – Unknown German Monk

A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. – W.C. Fields

They who drink beer will think beer. – Washington Irving

Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine ! That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers. – Cliff Clavin

I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night. – Greek Proverbs

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry

Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire. – David Rains Wallace

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system. – Anonymous

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, That’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. – Frank Sinatra

I drink to make other people more interesting. – Ernest Hemingway

The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. – Ancient Egyptian Saying

It takes only one drink to get me drunk…..the trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. – George Burns

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. – Tom Waits

For a quart of Ale is a dish for a king. – William Shakespeare

A little bit of beer is divine medicine. – Paracelsus

It’s amazing how many times the world ‘I need another drink’ has bailed me out of awkward conversations. – Unknown

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. – Kaiser Welhelm

If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine. – Craig Ferguson

Let no man thirst for good beer. – Sam Adams

I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror. – Sid Vicious

Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods. – Bruce Carlton

There are more old drunks than there are old doctors. – Willie Nelson

Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working. – Harold Rudolph

Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished

on beer. – Frederick the Great

People who drink light ‘beer’ don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. – Capital Brewery

Milk is for babies; when you grow up you have to drink beer. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. – Jack Handy

Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

A bar is better than a newspaper for public discussion. – Jim Parker

The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer. – Egyptian Proverbs

Religions change; beer and wine remain. – Hervey Allen

Why do beer companies both with an expiration date… It’s never going to make it anywhere near that. – Unknown

You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

Give a man a beer, he’ll drink for the day.Teach a man to brew, he’ll be drunk the rest of his life. – Author Unknown

Beer is made by men, wine by God. – Martin Luther

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. – David Moulton

Depth perception and beer obviously weren’t related. – Katie McGarry

There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better. – Stephen Morris

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into. – Don Marquis

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