86+ Best Beer Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Beer is an alcoholic drink made from grain and hops. Inspirational beer quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

If you’re searching for encouraging food quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of profound coconut quotes, amazing pie quotes and top strawberry quotes.

Famous Beer Quotes

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not. Paul Newman

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde

I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably. Amanda Peet

What were they thinking? It’s an alien apocalypse! Quick, grab the beer! Rick Yancey

I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on. Mads Mikkelsen

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. Abraham Lincoln

Important people are much more interesting when they are drunk and seem much more like human beings. Marilyn Monroe

Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well made taco and a cold bottle of beer. Tom Robbins

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns

Beer is made by men, wine by God. Martin Luther

It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. Shirley MacLaine

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer. Frank Zappa

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. Arnold Schwarzenegger

My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine. Tallulah Bankhead

Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you do not drink, answer him I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to. Martin Luther

I’m only here for the beer.

I’d tried to straighten him out, but there’s only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer. David Sedaris

If I wanted water, I would have asked for water. Labatt Blue

That’s right, there’s free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone’s jealous. Kevin Hearne

It looks good, it tastes good, and by golly it does you good. Mackeson’s Brewery

I like my coffee black, my beer from Germany, wine from Burgundy, the darker, the better. I like my heroes complicated and brooding, James Dean in oiled leather, leaning on a motorcycle. You know the color. Barbara Crooker

It’s what your right arm’s for. Courage Brewery

If I have a near beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine. Craig Ferguson

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning. Founders Brewing

There are more old drunks than there are old doctors. Willie Nelson

Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution. Dan Castellaneta

I don’t think I’ve drunk enough beer to understand that. Terry Pratchett

Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer. W.C. Fields

A man who lies about beer makes enemies. Stephen King

Here’s a tip never get drunk while wearing a hooded sweatshirt. You will eventually think there’s someone right behind you. Dave Atell

I’m driving, Louis Cesare said, sliding into the low seat as easily as if he’d done it a hundred times. You’re drunk. I wished. I had all of two beers, mostly for the water content. If you needed water, why didn’t you drink water? I don’t like water. Karen Chance

I can party like a twenty four year old but it takes me almost a week to recover. Amy Poehler

I want a beer. I want a giant, ice cold bottle of beer and shower sex. Nora Roberts

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin

Millions of deaths would not have happened if it weren’t for the consumption of alcohol. The same can be said about millions of births. Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy. Emo Philips

Thirstily he set it to his lips, and as its cool refreshment began to soothe his throat, he thanked Heaven that in a world of much evil there was still so good a thing as ale. Rafael Sabatini

If I have a near beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine. Craig Ferguson

Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it’s all hahhhh. Thomas Pynchon

If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go What happens if you take two? Robin Williams

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. David Daye

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Jack Handey

120 million of us place the big bang 2,500 years after the Babylonians and Sumerians learned to brew beer. Sam Harris

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. W.C. Fields

They sell courage of a sort in the taverns. And another sort, though not for sale, a man can find in the confessional. Try the alehouses and the churches, Hugh. In either a man can be quiet and think. Ellis Peters

There are two kinds of people I don’t trust people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers. Chelsea Handler

Across the troubled maelstrom of time, people always need a beer. Ellen Kushner

Women should put a picture of their missing husbands on beer cans. Steven Wright

I never had problems with my fellow scientists. Scientists are a friendly, atheistic, hard working, beer drinking lot whose minds are preoccupied with sex, chess and baseball when they are not preoccupied with science. Yann Martel

Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you’re going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel? Roger Swanson

After a while I got hungry and went to the kitchen. There was nothing to eat. I drank another beer and looked again, and found half a loaf of whole wheat bread behind the beer in the back of the refrigerator. Robert B. Parker

Beer is for breakfast around here, drink or be gone. Doug Coughlin

I mulled over what he had told me as I savored the Scotch. Not bad, really like a beer that’s been in a brawl. David Justice

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes. Thornton Melon

Depth perception and beer obviously weren’t related. Katie McGarry

I am not an alcoholic. I am a drunk, and there is a vast difference. Mortdecai

To have a man whose name is on the label showing such interest, commitment, and determination for the best is a wonderful thing. This is someone who will throw money at quality, who believes in being the best. Never knock it. Would you prefer to have a bean counter in corporate headquarters, someone who never comes near the brewery, making decisions solely on the basis of the bottom line and profit margins? Charles Bamforth

I feel like getting plushed to the scuppers! Rita

According to Chesterton, tea drinking is pagan, while beer drinking is Christian, and coffee is the puritan’s opium. George Orwell

I hate men who smell like beer and bean dip and makin’ love in the back of recreational vehicles! Sadie Ratliff

To say that members of Congress have egos is like saying that I like cold beer. Michael Fanone

I wanna be drunk. And make you drunk. Because I’m intimidated by you. I need to feel free to say anything, and know that you’ll forgive me. June Miller

We conduct business meetings so much better on beer. Rachel Bergsma

I want to sit under a linden tree with nothing more important to worry about but the temperature of the beer. If there is anything more important. Sam Dodsworth

You might think it is very easy to find beer you’ve no doubt been finding it for a few years. Andy Hamilton

I’ve drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass that all of you numbnuts put together. Gunnery Sergeant Highway

The name on that label was now just a nostalgic reminder of the real thing. And for years to come increasingly old men and women would sit in little bars off the highway and order it. If hearing themselves say the word Blatz makes them feel young, or beautiful, or invincible again, maybe it’s OK that it survives. Maybe, for many years now, Blatz was already better as a story than as a beer. J. Ryan Stradal

If you’re thirsty, a drink will cure it, if you’re not, a drink will prevent it. Prevention is better than a cure. Mandy Nicholls

And what is civilization if it ain’t people talking over a goddamned beer? James S.A. Corey

Promise me one thing don’t take me home until I’m drunk Very drunk indeed. Holly Golightly

Hartnell’s was for drinking. And you could get any drink you wanted, as long as it was beer. Andy Weir

The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer named June 2nd. Agnes

Like alcohol, desperation can make a coward seem courageous. Mokokoma Mokhonoana

To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems. Homer Simpson

Beer, brewed in cauldrons the size of houses by machines and then served cold. It has no soul. It isn’t worthy of the name. Jim Butcher

Well, yeah it doesn’t really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer. Luke

The refrigerator was one of the main things my mother prayed to. She said that a cold beer could make you love a refrigerator. Jennifer Clement

When you come to the end of the line, with a buddy who is more than a brother and a little less than a wife, getting blind drunk together is really the only way to say farewell. Randy Miller

Sitting on a bar stool and sipping a shot of Jack Daniel’s washed down by a cold bottle of beer is an impeccable routine. I cannot think of a better ritual. John E. Quinlan

Why did I get drunk? I do stupid things when I’m drunk like sleep with my husband! Jenna Hunterson

We drink the barely cool locally brewed Mosi from the leaky mildew-smelling fridge, keeping an eye out for UFOs, unidentified floating objects, in the bottles. Alexandra Fuller

You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It’s not that you had too much to drink. You’re just too skinny. Freddie Bauer

Political correctness maybe the flavour of the month politically, but in arts, it will always come across as weak, and not very true to life, like having a beer when you need a scotch. Robert Black

A little bit of beer is divine medicine. Paracelsus