Ye judge after the flesh, I judge no man. John 8:15

Guilt, shame and remorse are not unusual feelings experienced by normal people when they feel they have done something wrong or are not acting in a reasonable way. For the average Joe you see on the street on the path to self-destruction, they know they are on a dangerous path so they really don’t need you to point fingers at them or whisper when they pass by you.

People behave the way they do for a particular reason there are lots of damaged people out there who out of hurt, bitterness and rebellion go about like they don’t care. They are sarcastic, angry and difficult to get along with. But if you take time to get to know them you will find out they are just sad people in need of love and affirmation.

What are our responsibilities to such people whether they are loved ones, co-workers or neighbors: Here are 5 ways to deal with being judgemental towards others.


Unconditional love has always been one of the best ways to show people around you that you value them above their misconduct. Unconditional love is not about ignoring people’s misconduct but rather approaching them from a humanistic point of view.


“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” F.Scott Fitzgerald                                             

Sometimes try to put your-self in the others person shoes, how do your think you would have reacted to the experience that person had. E.g. A man in your neighborhood lost his wife and child in a car crash, two months later he started drinking heavily and disturbs the neighborhood whenever he gets drunk. This carried on for years that even families that are new in that environment have had to call the authorities several time to arrest him for the disturbances. My point is, it is very easy for you to judge another human being without knowing the root cause of their problem.


For a lot of us who have loved ones who are a pain in the butt, I totally understand what it’s like. My brother has behaviors that are frustrating for not only me but the rest of my family. At a certain point I realized I couldn’t change him and that if I was to expect change I need only pray for him and be patient. Surprisingly he did show improvement in his behavior he was less domineering and aggressive.


“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.”   Laurence Sterne.

I know there is a phrase that says, “Respect is not demanded but earned” but we still need to respect those around us even if they don’t deserve it. It makes them feel loved and valued. For example you should still say greet the cranky old man or woman on your street who always hauls insults at people. Treat people with respect always, I can remember a scene from the movie pretty woman where Julia Roberts was sent out of a store because she didn’t look like someone who could afford their clothes. Many of us are like that we treat people based on how they look without getting to know them.


It has often been said that the most judgemental people are often people who are insecure and are the biggest critics of themselves. Love can only come from within, if you don’t love or accept who you are you will find it difficult to love others or tolerate their flaws.

I have a related post (Understanding Mercy) on my blog iniusoro.wordpress.com

Please leave a comment.




  1. I think that’s nice for many people. And so I believe that your comments need to have a proviso around the gravity of misdemeanour people have committed. I do the empathy thing for minor transgressions. But major transgressions no: I cannot respect and I cannot give them unconditional love; or I simply can no longer be bothered about the root cause of their problem. It’s their luggage–not mine. These people are, for example, family members who might have committed murder, domestic violence, sexual abuse etc.Having said that I will pray for them.

    • Only God is capable of loving even the worst offenders, at the beginging of the post i mentioned normal individuals who feel remorse for their behaviour, there are people out there who enjoying hurting others, irrespective of what might have caused their dysfunction you should apply wisdom when dealing with such people and pray for them. Above all protect your heart do not allow other people’s actions or misconducts to make you bitter towards the world.

  2. I love your take on these topics, especially Respect. It’s very important to me, respect, and I find it difficult sometimes how people treat me with less respect than I treat them. Nevertheless, it is important to always respect each other, even if you dislike someone. Without it, things very easily go wrong.

    Great post 🙂

  3. He who is without sin cast the first stone. We try not to judge, but not all criticism is judgmental. Some people need more force to get them going. So let’s not judge, but be cognizant of not becoming an enabler as well.


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