Belonging…

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Focus, keep your eye on the prize, be accepting of what the day has brought you, learn to relish the small things, dream big and you will achieve big, contentment comes from appreciation of the here and now…

Do you ever feel like the advice out there is mind-boggling, never ending, and often seemingly contradictory? Do you ever question what is going on that so many people seem to believe they have the answer? Do you wonder what it is like to be so sure of themselves, they will write down a list of things that will supposedly make you happy, successful, content, desirable, yah-da, yah-da, yah-da…

Here’s one thought to think about in your quest and understanding of what will work for you… we are all different and yet, there are common themes that run through our lives. And in working with those common themes, sometimes people get so excited for the steps that are presently working for them, or they want so badly to believe the steps they are taking WILL work for them, they become convinced they need all those around them to jump onboard.

I don’t know how many times I have shared something that was meaningful to me with another, only to have the other shrug or smile politely and move on. There is a part of me that wants to jump up and down and beg them to listen.

“This is real!”

“This has worked!”

“This is amazing!”

What I forget to add to each of those sentences is the words “for me…right now.” What I forget is that what has worked for me, this time, may not be where the other person is now or ever.

We want to share so badly with others some form of communion or connection. Only the most ill among us does not have this innate tendency. (And to be fair, if it works for them and they are not harming others, are those that don’t share this need for connection, really ill?)

The most fascinating ideas for me lately are perspective and projection. Everything I am reading and understanding states, that while we share many things, in experience, biology, wants, and needs, there are so very many variations on where the journey has led each person and where they stand today.

Where I am coming from now is vastly different from where I was coming from two years ago, five years, ten, twenty… And where I am coming from at this very moment, while it might have been shared by many others at some time or other in their life, is still vastly different from many whose lives have taken very different routes or on different levels of their journey.

The man caring for a large family is going to have very different concerns from the woman living on her own. The woman who chooses to balance career and family of one or two will probably have different concerns than the man who barely takes care of himself, much less a plant, pet, or another human being. The woman in a war-torn landscape is going to have a completely different focus than the man coaching the little league team.

We are however, all very human. Almost all of us are merely searching for ways to connect, feel a sense of belonging, a sense of accomplishment, a feeling of peace. We are all searching, in some form or another, whether we self-sabotage out of guilt or manipulation, trip over fear or loneliness.

Here’s to the searchers, the questioners, those who try and raise their heads up above the fray. Here’s to the ones who will do their best to ask why and still support the loved ones in their lives. Here’s to those who may be alone and even feel lonely, their time will come at some point. We have to believe this… We have to…

And some of that advice just might work for you, you never know. Just remember, you may be in a different place in your journey than another you come in contact with today. They are not wrong and neither are you.

 

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