55+ Best Bill Cosby Quotes: Exclusive Selection

William Henry Cosby Jr. is an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician, and author. Profoundly inspirational Bill Cosby quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for quotes by comedians that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of quotes by Bill Hicks, best Bill Maher quotes and greatest Bo Burnham quotes.

Famous Bill Cosby Quotes

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.

We cannot afford to settle for being just average; we must learn as much as we can to be the best that we can. The keyword is education – education with maximum effort. Without it, we cannot be in charge of ourselves or anyone else.

You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.

Violence won’t solve a thing. It makes it more challenging to solve, though.

If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it.

Bill Cosby quotes

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.

I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don’t cry over the one person who doesn’t.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it’s not like whispering to your friend, you’ve put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.

Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world.

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

You can’t compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful.

Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally.

Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.

The serve was invented so that the net could play.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy.

If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up.

All parents experience the same problems.

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

Inspirational Bill Cosby Quotes

YOU are a genius!… and I am a genius because I married you.

The game of chess. Supposedly men made it up, and it’s about war and men and the ravages and the bravery and the genius of commanding and moving pieces and … No. It’s marriage. The Queen moves anywhere she wants.

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it.

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

The main goal of the future is to stop the violence. The world is addicted to it.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two … humor, commitment & undying love.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework. Quotes

It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.

I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job…and I don’t want it!

My grandpa didn’t believe in hugging and kissing or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We’re going here, we’re going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

You can’t be everything to everyone

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who’ve had luck with it and those who haven’t.

Romance is a different word than sexual contact.

Nobody ever says, Can I have your beets?

Is the glass half full, or half-empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking.

You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them.

The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

The heart of marriage is memories.

Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with…That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.

Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Give me 200 active 2-year-olds and I could conquer the world.