William Henry Cosby Jr. is an American stand-up comedian, actor, musician, and author. Profoundly inspirational Bill Cosby quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.
If you’re searching for quotes by comedians that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of quotes by Bill Hicks, best Bill Maher quotes and greatest Bo Burnham quotes.
Famous Bill Cosby Quotes
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God Bill Cosby
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. Bill Cosby
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on a rope. Bill Cosby
If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up. Bill Cosby
Old is always fifteen years from now. Bill Cosby
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on. Bill Cosby
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. Bill Cosby
Mediocre people are the most dangerous people in the world. Bill Cosby
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don’t make no difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you. Bill Cosby
Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you’re pouring, or drinking. Bill Cosby
Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them Bill Cosby
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble. Bill Cosby
If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. Bill Cosby
Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. Bill Cosby
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby
Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. Bill Cosby
The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. Bill Cosby
Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children. Bill Cosby
Did you ever see the customers in health food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steakhouse, you see robust, ruddy people. They’re dying, of course, but they look terrific. Bill Cosby
Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. Bill Cosby
A word to the wise ain’t necessary it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. Bill Cosby
Old is always fifteen years from now. Bill Cosby
Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you’re telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much. Bill Cosby
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework. Bill Cosby Quotes
It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful. Bill Cosby
You can’t compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful. Bill Cosby
I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread. Bill Cosby
Give me 200 active 2 year olds and I could conquer the world. Bill Cosby
After creating heaven, the earth, the ocean, and the entire animal kingdom, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was Don’t. Bill Cosby
Never forget that the devil is there 24/7 too. He’s very, very busy. Bill Cosby
The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble. Bill Cosby
The game of chess. Supposedly men made it up, and it’s about war and men and the ravages and the bravery and the genius of commanding and moving pieces and No. It’s marriage. The Queen moves anywhere she wants. Bill Cosby
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them. Bill Cosby
You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any. Bill Cosby
The three ingredients of a successful union between two humor, commitment & undying love. Bill Cosby
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. Bill Cosby
I’m not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it, I don’t know when I lost it, I don’t really think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it! Bill Cosby
You can’t be everything to everyone Bill Cosby
Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. Bill Cosby
Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you. Bill Cosby
Gray hair is God’s graffiti. Bill Cosby
All parents experience the same problems. Bill Cosby
A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.
If you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it. Bill Cosby
The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: Okay, rinse.
No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal. Bill Cosby
My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don’t make any difference to me, I’ll make another one look just like you.
You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven. Bill Cosby
I am not the boss of my house. I don’t know how I lost it. I don’t know where I lost it. I don’t think I ever had it. But I’ve seen the boss’s job and I don’t want it.
You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don’t want to see the dog doing them. Bill Cosby
Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.
I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who’ve had luck with it and those who haven’t. Bill Cosby
I asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic, he told me how he killed a grizzly bear with his loose leaf notebook.
Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it’s not like whispering to your friend, you’ve put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see. Bill Cosby
Why do I have to feed the kids? They just ate twelve hours ago!
The main goal of the future is to stop the violence. The world is addicted to it. Bill Cosby
And tiredness is always followed by sickness. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, I am just sick. And I said, And tired. I don’t remember anything after that.
We cannot afford to settle for being just average; we must learn as much as we can to be the best that we can. The keyword is education education with maximum effort. Without it, we cannot be in charge of ourselves or anyone else. Bill Cosby
My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.
