128+ Best Bo Burnham Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Robert Pickering “Bo” Burnham is an American comedian, musician, actor, filmmaker and poet. Profoundly inspirational Bo Burnham quotes and jokes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for funny quotes by comedians that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of quotes by Dave Chappelle, best Ellen DeGeneres quotes and greatest Johnny Carson quotes.

Famous Bo Burnham Quotes

I’ve always liked the format of YouTube, sharing things for free, which is a nice exchange between people. – Bo Burnham

I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a ‘sociopath.’ – Bo Burnham

Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own. – Bo Burnham

What’s important is that you stay true to yourself. Because when you enter the real world, the most valuable thing you can bring is all your you-ness. The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. – Bo Burnham

When I tried to hit puberty, I swung and I missed. – Bo Burnham

I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now. – Bo Burnham

There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor? – Bo Burnham

What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy – Bo Burnham

The average person has one Fallopian tube. – Bo Burnham

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me. – Bo Burnham

I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it. – Bo Burnham

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable. – Bo Burnham

When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much. – Bo Burnham

There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind. – Bo Burnham

Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot, I want to be at the end of the day very emotional and what feels like someone being up there rather than reciting things. That’s always the challenge, to analyze and then somehow lose yourself in something you absolutely know backwards and forwards. And nothing’s going to surprise you, but you have to be surprised by it and let it surprise you. – Bo Burnham

I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it. – Bo Burnham

I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people. – Bo Burnham

When life gets you down, make a comforter! – Bo Burnham

People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, ‘Bo, you’re an artist… how do we fix Africa?’ – Bo Burnham

My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas. – Bo Burnham

My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment. – Bo Burnham

I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I’m OK, but that’s about it. I like to think I’m good enough not to negatively affect the performance. – Bo Burnham

At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I’m also open to the fact that maybe it’s just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time. – Bo Burnham

I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically? – Bo Burnham

Comedy should be a source of positivity. I don’t want to bully people, and I don’t want people to come to my show to feel terrible about something. I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say. – Bo Burnham

I’ve found nothing but support and generosity from older comics. I think comedians are a lot nicer than the stigma is, at least from my experience. – Bo Burnham

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes. – Bo Burnham

And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France. – Bo Burnham

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls. – Bo Burnham

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t. – Bo Burnham

Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it. – Bo Burnham

I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome. – Bo Burnham

Nothing’s true that I say, because I don’t really want to say anything. I don’t think my life’s that cool, and I don’t think my opinion’s that valid. They’re just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn’t funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject. – Bo Burnham

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting. – Bo Burnham

If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at. – Bo Burnham

Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change? – Bo Burnham

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity. – Bo Burnham

I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast. They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame. – Bo Burnham

For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies. – Bo Burnham

Love is all about… whistles. – Bo Burnham

Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on. – Bo Burnham

If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that. – Bo Burnham

And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees. – Bo Burnham

If I have enough money to support myself, I’ll just give stuff away. I just, I want people to see it and I want to be able to do this for a living, you know what I mean? So it’s just a balance. If I’m not doing well for five years, then I’m selling stuff, but if I’m doing well and I can afford to give stuff away, I’ll always do that. – Bo Burnham

I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face. – Bo Burnham

At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous. – Bo Burnham

Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine. – Bo Burnham

I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you. – Bo Burnham

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth. – Bo Burnham

I stopped and I thought, ‘What would Jesus do?’ So, I didn’t exist. – Bo Burnham

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad or a deer – Bo Burnham

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land? – Bo Burnham

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head. – Bo Burnham

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn’t just the thought of it make it worth a try? – Bo Burnham

How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage. – Bo Burnham

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names. – Bo Burnham

The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light. – Bo Burnham

Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively. – Bo Burnham

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no. – Bo Burnham

Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make. – Bo Burnham

Where are all the sour patch parents? – Bo Burnham

Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist. – Bo Burnham

No one entertains the thought that maybe God does not believe in you. – Bo Burnham

People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms. – Bo Burnham

I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatize things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about. I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things. – Bo Burnham

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in high school. – Bo Burnham

We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc. – Bo Burnham

I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface. – Bo Burnham

I think it would collapse my heart if I was super famous. I don’t have the nerve for it, I’m too anxious. I don’t know how you’re not obsessed with how people perceive you, because they’re real people, you know? You can convince yourself that they don’t really know you, and that’s true, but how can it not hurt your feelings? – Bo Burnham

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form. – Bo Burnham

I try and write satire that’s well-intentioned. But those intentions have to be hidden. It can’t be completely clear, and that’s what makes it comedy. – Bo Burnham

For me, comedy is constantly presented as this fake casualness, like a guy just walked on stage going, ‘This crazy thing happened to me the other day.’ And he’s in front of 3000 people, and he’s acting like an everyman, and he’s getting paid so much money. – Bo Burnham

I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they’re listening to. – Bo Burnham

I chose to do comedy instead of going to college. – Bo Burnham

I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about. – Bo Burnham

I was doing theater in my high school, and I started writing sort of silly songs on the piano backstage in summer theater. I eventually put them online and started getting this little following. – Bo Burnham

I’ve always liked TV shows that have slightly unlikable leads, where you root for them in spite of a lot of things. I know it’s not common with shows with young people; they have to be so likable. But, I mean, teenagers just generally aren’t very likable. I know I wasn’t as a teenager. – Bo Burnham

In high school, I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went. – Bo Burnham

Most of my songs make fun of myself. – Bo Burnham

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments. – Bo Burnham

Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy. – Bo Burnham

At one point when I was very young, when I was first starting out, I thought, ‘Well, one day I’ll be able to put all the music away and become a real comedian.’ But then I realized there are amazing musical comedians out there, that musical comedy is probably something I’ll always want to pursue. – Bo Burnham

Comedy doesn’t really matter that much; I know that. I treat it like an adult – I don’t treat it like a child or a god, which some people do. This might just be in America, but ‘stand-up comedy’ is something very particular that I don’t particularly relate to. – Bo Burnham

My career was exploding at the same time that social media itself was expanding. But when my online videos were taking off, I didn’t think, ‘Oh, great! I’m going to be able to parlay this into a career!’ I just wanted to be a comedian. I just wanted to perform live. – Bo Burnham

I was definitely not the kid that just wanted to be famous for no reason whatsoever and then happened to find comedy. Fame and all that stuff have always been slightly terrifying to me, and it makes me very anxious. – Bo Burnham

‘Words, Words, Words’ was very much its title. It’s just words, words, words and trying to show that I can pack as much material into an hour as I possibly could word count-wise. – Bo Burnham

I just like to write and then perform. – Bo Burnham

The problem for us, as viewers, is that we want famous people who are passionate about the things they’re famous for, because that makes them worthy of the attention. But I think many of those famous people just want to be famous. – Bo Burnham

The strange thing was, when I was starting on YouTube, even the paradigm of YouTube and Internet sensation – or whatever – that didn’t really exist. So, I didn’t even know that that was a thing. – Bo Burnham

What’s that? My six-song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes. With three songs that have never been heard on the internet. Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free, I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. – Bo Burnham

I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch. – Bo Burnham

The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever. – Bo Burnham

People give me money and I don’t know why; my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy. – Bo Burnham

Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person. – Bo Burnham

I’m a drunken midget with a loaded gun, a loaded gun. – Bo Burnham

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage. – Bo Burnham

My whole family thinks I’m gay, I guess it’s always been that way. Maybe it’s ’cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like… boys. – Bo Burnham

I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went. – Bo Burnham

In comedy, falling means laughter. You can take something sacred and make it silly. The more sacred it is, the funnier it is. It has a bigger drop to fall. – Bo Burnham

It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage. I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name. – Bo Burnham

The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people. – Bo Burnham

I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic. – Bo Burnham

I don’t consciously try to make things difficult as much as I try to make them a little different. I like all kinds of laughs. I tried to make a show that elicit groans, guffaws, chuckles, boos. – Bo Burnham

I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching. – Bo Burnham

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant? An ironic way to die. – Bo Burnham

I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike. – Bo Burnham

I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs, I am the dirty little kid. – Bo Burnham

I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face. – Bo Burnham

My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it. – Bo Burnham

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So, don’t smoke… tumors. – Bo Burnham

I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love. – Bo Burnham

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet. – Bo Burnham

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural. – Bo Burnham

I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy. – Bo Burnham

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t. – Bo Burnham

The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes. I try to be strong about it and assure myself that only my close friends and family can really pass judgement on me personally, but it’s impossible to not let it get to you. – Bo Burnham

When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen. – Bo Burnham

I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think. – Bo Burnham

My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition. – Bo Burnham

I’ve found, across the board, that comedians have been very respectful and kind to me. And that seems to stem from the fact that they are just respectful and kind people in general. Comedians get a bad rap for being dark and anti-social I think. – Bo Burnham

Comedy is very strange to me and I don’t fully understand its purpose or function. – Bo Burnham

I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something. – Bo Burnham

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate. – Bo Burnham

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.