Christmas Eve 

I can’t believe it’s Christmas eve again. I truly prayed for a good one this year, but poor choices and just plain stupidity have left me home, no food, no presents to be handed out early Christmas morning, and no family get together.
When I go outside I can hear the joy and laughter coming from the neighbor’s house and all I can think is, “How did I get here? Why can’t I just be normal?” Only the realization hits me that there is no such thing as normal.
So many people take what they have for granted. I certainly did. That is until it was gone. I think about my beautiful daughters, Brianna,13, and Kialeigh, 15, neither of whom I have seen in years. I pray and hope they are having a wonderful night filled with love and magic. That’s what I want for them. I dream about all of us together, opening a few presents, and gathering around a beautiful tree that smells like the forest. It makes me sad that this is not my reality. My heart is so heavy that I feel like it might fall from my chest and shatter into a million pieces. This is my life and I have to face it.
Christmas this year is another day without family. Just another day in a very sad woman’s life. So please, tell all those you love that you love them. Snuggle together and cherish these moments. Christmas is for giving. It’s for love and joy and happiness. Revel in them enough for those of us who can’t.

12 thoughts on “Christmas Eve ”

  1. Jenn, I am so sorry to hear this. I wish you love, joy and blessings. Were you here, I would welcome you into my home to share our Christmas. A poor substitute, I know, for your family. Raili

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  2. My friend, when I was unloveable I learned that God still loved me. I cannot get back the past, and the love I never gave, was not lost but stored in my heart. Now I give that love when I work in a soup kitchen at Thanksgiving, or volunteer my talents at the food pantry. At my young, tender age of 63, I see that it is not what I lost, but God’s love for me poured out today to others, will make a future of hope for all of us.

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