175+ Best Cookie Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Profoundly inspirational cookie quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

Famous Cookie Quotes

It seems that they had no idea of how to use cookies and that’s a little scary for what it indicates about their sophisticated understanding of their own Web site. It seems very low. If this is as good as they are in Web surveillance, then their other surveillance can’t be very good. — Richard Purcell

A world without right or wrong was a world that did not want itself, anything other than itself, or anything not those two things, but that still wanted something. A world without right or wrong invited you over, complained about you, and gave you cookies. Don’t leave, it said, and gave you a vegan cookie. It avoided eye contact, but touched your knee sometimes. It was the world without right or wrong. It didn’t have any meaning. It just wanted a little meaning. — Tao Lin

The day I saw my mom eating the Santa cookies on the plate was one of the most horrific days of my life. — Halle Berry

If you can’t change the world with chocolate chip cookies, how can you change the world? — Pat Murphy

Fendi on my slippers & my cookies always slippery — Nicki Minaj

The funny thing is while the grown-ups in the family may indulge, we really try to offer our son Duke clean food, as all his meals are made with organic ingredients as the rest of us eat cookies straight out of the freezer. — Bill Rancic

He who take cookie to bed have crummy night ahead. — Confucius

Well, but you can eat Grandma’s cookies. They’re not bad for you. They were made by Grandma. Grandma wouldn’t hurt you. — John Green

I love watching keep-fit videos while munching chocolate chip cookies. — Dolly Parton

I looked up at Ellen and her not-glowing pentagram. Harm none is the rule, Ellen: bad witch, no cookie. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Normal citizens opened their homes and offered pilgrims restrooms, cookies and drinks. Their hospitality taught me to try to be more giving in my daily life. — Patrick Wong

Sarasota County commissioners need to be thinking about more than round or square tables or what type of cookies there’ll be. — Rick Tacy

I bought all those [fitness] videos — Richard Simmons, Jane Fonda. I love to sit and eat cookies and watch ’em. — Dolly Parton

It’s different fads, and retailers are trying to get you to buy to make money. And it’s usually crackers, cookies and chips, the things that we don’t want to have all the time. You won’t have fads with fruits, veggies and fresh meats. — Julie Russell

I don’t feel we’re ever going to take the place of cookies or chips, but if we can somehow break into that and share that spotlight a little bit, I feel that everyone will have benefited. — Doug Davis

Ads are baked into content like chocolate chips into a cookie. Except, it’s actually more like raisins into a cookie because no one [expletive] wants them there. — John Oliver

In Jackson’s private world, instead of cookies and milk, he substituted wine, vodka and bourbon, — Tom Sneddon

It’s like he has this power over me—like I have an eating disorder and he’s a package of Oreo Double Stuff cookies. — Christopher Moore

We don’t need a lot of cookies on Thursday afternoon before games. No, my background as a coach, we’ve never liked showering the guys with a lot of praise before the game. I don’t know how that helps. — Steve Spurrier

I love raw cookie dough, right out of the tube. The other thing I eat is marshmallow fluff. — Sandra Bullock

My weak spot is laziness. Oh, I have a lot of weak spots: cookies, croissants. — Anthony Hopkins

Want a cookie,’ Ra said. ‘What kind?’ ‘Weasel cookie.’ I’m here to tell you, that comment about weasel cookies probably saved the known universe. — Rick Riordan

At my school, they have an ice cream special sometimes, and they have this ice cream sandwich, except the sandwich part is like an Oreo and the inside like cookies n’ cream ice cream. I love that. — Lilla Crawford

I’m always watching my weight. I don’t eat sweets like cookies or chocolate. Sugarless chewing gum is enough for me. But bread is different. I come from Czechoslovakia, where we eat lots of it, so it’s hard to say no. — Daniela Pestova

If you lose count of how many cookies you ate, the calorie intake ceases to exist. True story. — Frank Iero

When the armed robber of unhappiness knocks over the Keebler cookie display of our complacency, and bangs the samurai sword of negativity on the checkout counter of our dreams, we must not be afraid to hurl the fruit cocktail can of hope. — Dave Barry

Should I warm the oven and bake you a batch of hero cookies? – Zephyra — Sherrilyn Kenyon

This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut. — Daniel Handler

You can be miserable before you have a cookie and you can be miserable after you eat a cookie but you can’t be miserable while you are eating a cookie. — Ina Garten

We knew we loved making cookies and every time we did, we made people happy. That was our business plan. — Debbi Fields

There were a lot of teen stars that were very cookie-cutter… I’m just being me. — Justin Bieber

Do not turn into just cookie-cutter producer, cookie-cutter this, but a producer that people say wow, when they do something it’s great or just unique or whatever. — Ice Cube

Selling cookies helped me to realize that you needed to have a certain way to communicate with people. You also needed business skills. You knew you needed to sell a certain amount of boxes, so that gave me some business sense. — Maria Bartiromo

Words fashioned with somewhat over precise diction are like shapes turned out by a cookie cutter. — Peter De Vries

We know customers don’t have to buy laundry detergent every time they shop. So why force them to walk through that aisle to get to the cookies or the meat department. — Robin Johnson

We’d get sick on too many cookies, but ever so much sicker on no cookies at all. — Sinclair Lewis

I learned a lot about lead; you don’t have to blow your cookies in the first bar. It is much harder to be simple that to be complicated during solos. — Tommy Bolin

Funny, how one good cookie could calm the mind and even elevate a troubled soul. — Dean Koontz

Usually, funny people aren’t in charge of comedy. Comedy has become commerce. They’re just trying to duplicate a thing that they can sell. That’s the business. I’m not mad at that. You know, cookie companies do the same thing. But all the cookies aren’t good cookies. Mrs. Fields is better than a lot of them. — Ali LeRoi

Every time you have a carrot instead of a cookie, every time you go to the gym instead of going to the movies, that’s a costly investment in your health. But how much you want to invest is going to depend on how much longer you expect to live in the future, even if you don’t make those investments. — Emily Oster

If bitterness wants to get into the act, I offer it a cookie or a gumdrop. — James Broughton

To cut the federal budget without cutting entitlements is like giving up chocolate-chip cookies and then deciding it’s OK to eat the ones that don’t have any nuts. — Timothy Noah

What are you doing here?” [ndr prison] Selling Girl Scout cookies,” I said. “Want some? The Samoas are terrific.” (Max II to Max) — James Patterson

Sometimes they might not get a lot of visitors, and we thought the cookies would brighten up their days. — Erin Wilson

I’m a mom, a full-time mom when I’m not taping. I do the carpool thing, and bake the cookies, and do the homework. — Vanna White

This is a perfect opportunity for community building. Everybody can feel they can make a difference, … from baking cookies to Patriots tickets. — Katie Hall

Women should feel more liberated to say you know what? I can’t bake the cookies for the school bake sale because I just don’t have the time. Or I’m really sorry, but I can’t do this at work because I’ve got too much else going on this week. We have to be more up front in saying no, for lack of a better word, and then modeling that for others. — Debora Spar

Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though. — Jim Gaffigan

I just don’t know how to write a love letter. What can you say to a girl that shows you really like her? How about, enclosed please find a cookie? — Charles M. Schulz

I find it hilarious when Obama’s hand gets caught in the cookie jar — Allen West

What about Santa’s cookies? I suppose ‘parents’ eat those, too? — Will Ferrell

Also, worldbuilding touches all aspects of your story. It touches plot and character as well. If you don’t know the culture your character comes from, how can you know what he’s really like? You must know your characters on a much deeper level than you would if you just shrugged your way into a cookie cutter fantasy world. — Patrick Rothfuss

Racism should never have happened and so you don’t get a cookie for reducing it. — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

The sugar cookies – those are my favorite. — Thomas Williams

A candidate for Congress who would be out knocking on doors, meeting with supporters, talking about issues, debating his or her opponent would come back to the headquarters and they would say, ‘This guy, Tom DeLay, just sent home-baked cookies from Texas. — David Dreier

Everything is exactly as it is for a reason. The crumb on your table is no mystical reminder of this morning’s cookie, it is there because you have chosen not to remove it. No exceptions. — Richard Bach

Everyone just needs to stop fighting and have a cookie. — Keegan Allen

I was definitely one of those people who fell for the fat-free cookies and chips that are loaded with sugar and calories. — Alison Sweeney

Have you ever had a cookie? Then you won’t get any here either. — Bill Cosby

Bread pudding makes me weak. I have been known to be moved to tears by cookies and ice cream, and ribs are a spiritual experience for me. — Bill Rancic

America ships tons of sugar cookies to Denmark and Denmark ships tons of sugar cookies to America. Wouldn’t it be more efficient just to swap recipes? — Michael Pollan

I want you to know that I fought you fairly. Equal to equal. I could have used my powers against you, but I didn’t. (Stryker) Should I warm to oven and bake you a batch of hero-cookies? (Zephyra) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

My parents weren’t around much, but I assumed everybody’s family was the same. I didn’t know people had mummies and daddies who would give them milk and cookies after school. I just thought everybody lived on Central Park West and they had a nanny to take care of them. — Stephen Sondheim

We?re not there yet. But … what kind of cookies do you like, and are you willing to pay $10 a dozen for them? — Rod Brobeck

Sales of existing products are slow in some segments, such as the cookies and cakes, and Weston does need to be innovative to keep sales momentum going. — Patrick Schumann

We wanted to help create a healthy environment for students and help them learn healthy behaviors. A cookie is not bad for you, but if you have three cookies for lunch, it is not a good thing. — Donnell Barton

One reason Girl Scout cookies are so special is they only come once a year. I think it probably reminds the soldiers of home. Girl Scout cookies are kind of like apple pie and the flag. — Mary Fischer

People want national championship banners. People want to talk about Indiana being competitive. How do we get there? We don’t get there with milk and cookies. — Bobby Knight

I bake all the time, but I don’t like to eat the cookies when they’re done. I just like the dough. — Sharon Stone

If I had any choice in the matter, I’d stay in my comfy bed and eat warm chocolate chip cookies all day. — Simone Elkeles

Voltaire was a smart cookie. — John Perry

The high school students had as much fun as the younger children. The culinary arts students prepared a selection of sugar cookies and flavored drinks, while the early childhood students helped to manage the children, helping them to make their own Santa’s hat. — Dorothy Jones

In a manner of speaking. As we intend for you to found a dynasty. And that dynasty will rule society until it has progressed enough to- Overthrow the dynasty in a revolutionary, blood filled coup! Iggy said eagerly. We all looked at him. Just saying. He sheepishly took a bite of cookie. — James Patterson

I like Sultana cookies – they are so, so, so good. I think the best in the world. — Maud Welzen

Many who would not take the last cookie would take the last lifeboat. — Mignon McLaughlin

Right Direction Cookies are a delicious way to help lower cholesterol for those with mild to moderate high cholesterol. Right Direction Cookies are real chocolate chip cookies with added benefits. These cookies can be part of a cholesterol-lowering treatment regimen that includes prescription medication, diet and exercise. — Wendy Miller

Life is like a box of cookies. — Haruki Murakami

Christmas cookies can’t help but be retro – they are memory first, sugar-flour-egg-redhot-gumdrop-sparkle reality second. — Dana Goodyear

All the things I used to like – cookies, ice cream, gumbo – I don’t like anymore. — Etta James

We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love. — Daniel Handler

In some areas I am more noted for reading then I am for cookies! — Wally Amos

Most Americans don’t know enough about basic economics to fill out one fortune cookie. — Neal Boortz

When we run out of them upstairs, I’ve been known to appropriate some from our greenroom, pocketing a few with one hand as I smile and greet our guests with the other. One time, Dave Zinczenko of ‘Eat this, Not That!’ fame, busted me in the act. The cookies apparently fall in the ‘not that’ category. I made a note of it. — Lester Holt

I don’t get sent anything strange like underwear. I get sent cookies. — Jennifer Aniston

A lot of what is wrong with corporate America has to do with a culture filled with antibodies trained to expel anything different. HR departments often want cookie cutter employees, which inevitably results in cookie cutter solutions. — Nolan Bushnell

And thats the way it was and thats the way the cookie crumbles — Tupac Shakur

I’m baking stories, and singing cookies, oh the tonderous wimes! — Thom Yorke

So you have you price, I said with a mouthful of crumbs. Your soul for a cookie. Fang made sure Dr. Martinez wasn’t looking and then shot me the bird. — James Patterson

Cookies are unbelievable. I have a problem, I eat like, four to five a day. — Ryan Cabrera

I loved Cookie [Mueller]. She was a much better writer than actress. She shouldn’t have stuck with me in the beginning; she should have immediately become a writer. She would have had more of a chance. — John Waters

Hey, ah, does anyone want a cookie or something? Oh yeah. A cookie. That would make everything better. Dunked in a shot of tequila , maybe? Or better yet, just the bottle? Yeah, that ought to do it. — Kim Harrison

They might have been dealing in stolen cookies but we just didn’t want to go that far. — David Morris

The cookie-cutter liberal, the standard operating procedure liberal, is really a giant ignoramus. I mean that seriously. They’re really ignorant. — Rush Limbaugh

Girls Scouts taught me to succeed (cookie selling) and to fail (knot tying) and to learn and benefit from both. — Carol Bellamy

I’m here today to get chocolate chips and brown sugar, I decided to make cookies and brownies. — Carol Brown

It shall be my pleasure to remedy it. First, it is not your strength or your speed that draws me. It’s your…everything. Your laugh, your wit, your emotions and the way they change. Your courage, your sweetness, your near obsessive delight in cookies. Second, you are indeed a prize. You’ve made me want what no one else ever had. A communion of bodies. -Zacharel to Annabelle — Gena Showalter

I respect the IBF obligation to fight Povetkin, but I would like the exception to fight David Haye. That is the only title the Klitschkos don’t have. We have them all except the WBA, which is why Haye is such an interesting cookie for me to eat. — Wladimir Klitschko

Just because you’re sober, don’t think you’re a good driver, Cookie. — John Irving

But what you can’t do is be selling kids cookies at 10 o’clock in the morning so that they’re not hungry at lunch. — Elliot Regenstein

Valentine’s Day is a sham created by card companies to reinforce gender stereotypes. [..] I’ll buy some cookies, but NOT for Valentine’s Day. These cookies celebrate the February 14th birthday of Anna Howard Shaw, famed American suffragette. — Anna Howard Shaw

Let me also say I wanna make you sandwhiches, And soup, And peanut butter cookies, Though, the truth is peanutbutter is actually really bad for you ’cause they grow peanuts in old cotton fields to clean the toxins out of the soil, But hey, you like peanutbutter and I like you! — Andrea Gibson

Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over ’til you both get your cookie. — Alec Baldwin

Part 1- In search of Hot Chocolate-Chip Cookies — James Patterson

Imagine my delight and awe when I discovered such a thing was a real genre – contemporary fantasy or urban fantasy. It was like having my birthday twice in one week and cookie dough for breakfast. — Maggie Stiefvater

I wanted always to appear strong and in control . . . .Then the cookie began to crumble. — Chris Evert

The story is absolutely true. His daughter came up with the idea, along with her two cousins, and the cookies were sent. — Paul Bloch

Why are there not positive mysteries? It’s always who stole the diamond, or who killed the butler? How about… who made cookies, somebody cleaned my room. — Demetri Martin

There are a few roles I want to play, but mostly I just want to keep doing a play every now and then, watch kids grow and eat cookies and drink tea. — Robert Sean Leonard

There’s an oatmeal cookie in there. I see no reason for the existence of oatmeal, particularly in cookies. — Nora Roberts

I just didn’t like the way we went about our business. You get some cookies and guys try to hit home runs, and they pop the (expletive) thing up all day long. — Jim Leyland

After you eat Grandma’s cookies, everything in life gets better. — Justin Smith

Come to the dark side. We have cookies. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I found out when I did the Oprah Winfrey show that there was a cookie jar of me. So she gave it to me. I had no idea prior to that that it even existed. — Carrie Fisher

If there are fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies on the table, I won’t say no to those. Soy sauce is another one, even though it’s awful – it’s so high in sodium. — Misty May-Treanor

I can’t convince you to put the drink down if you’re an alcoholic, you have to want to do that. I can’t convince you to stop eating the cookies when you’re a diabetic. You have to do that. And that takes responsibility. — Don Young

If drunk were cookies, I’d be Famous Amos — John Green

He knows there’s some cookies coming. He has no clue there are 68 boxes. — Ken Young

I like a gooey cookie. — Trisha Yearwood

It isn’t just the food, either. People might say that chocolate chip cookies are good, but they have to be freshly baked cookies. — Brian Wansink

Most of the time, when people talk about comfort foods, we think of things that are really bad for you — cookies or chips, maybe, — Brian Wansink

Maybe the fault of removed cookies or blocked access starts with a related third-party used by the Web publisher. — Richard Stiennon

It’s gotten to the point where if I throw a cookie in the garbage, I have to douse it in Cascade. Otherwise, why wouldn’t I take it out and eat it? — Hoda Kotb

I cannot read a fortune cookie without breaking down and crying. I am sensitive. — Thom Yorke

During this time of the year, our shamrock-shaped Smiley cookies are extremely popular. Additionally, we anticipate online sales of shamrock cookies to be strong. Our online Smiley cookie sales have really exploded in the last two months. We’ve shipped Smiley cookies to all 50 states. It’s a great way to make someone’s day. — Kevin O’Connell

Empty?! You took all the cookies! They were crying to get out of the jar… Cookies get claustrophobia too, you know! — Charles M. Schulz

I have days when I say, ‘I’m going to have five chocolate chip cookies today.’ I’ll have a salad every day but every week I have a cheat day. — Melissa Etheridge

I don’t think cookies should be out there at all, … but the good news here is that consumers are at least becoming more sophisticated about the appropriate use of cookies. — Marc Rotenberg

Honey, a man can’t keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn’t done. — Janet Evanovich

If I’m at a party where I’m not enjoying myself, I will put some cookies in my jacket pocket and leave without saying good-bye. — Mindy Kaling

Man, he deserves a hero cookie. (Selena) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

A balanced diet is a cookie in both hands. — Paula Deen

The cookie maker needs someone to look out for him. — Kim Harrison

For a decade, I was a stay-at-home mom. I sent my husband to his law office, sat on PTA boards and baked cookies – great cookies. All of a sudden, I had no husband, no job, few prospects, and two small children who had grown accustomed to eating. — Gayle Lynds

We expect our Smiley flower cookies to be a big hit among guests, particularly for Mother’s Day. From heart-shaped Smiley cookies for Valentine’s Day to our Smiley bunny cookies, our special edition Smiley cookies have been incredibly successful in our restaurants and online. We continue to see an explosion in the popularity of Smiley cookies. Because our seasonal Smiley cookies have appealed to so many of our guests both near and far, we are excited to once again introduce a fresh new face to the Smiley cookie family. — Kevin Connell

I love chocolate chip cookies – really anything with chocolate will do! — Laura Wilkinson

Eating a cookie never feels strange. I am a big believer in food in general. — Keri Russell

I’ve become a pretty tough cookie after having a divorce. I think that I’ve persevered through a lot of talk. — Jessica Simpson

I was really freaked out when I heard that Cookie Monster was going to be changed to Veggie Monster, but that turned out to be a lie. — Elizabeth Meriwether

Some poeple just don’t have what it takes to appreciate a cookie. — James Patterson

What about desserts? I asked. If the world comes to an end, I’m going to want cookies. — Susan Beth Pfeffer

God wants your soul for all eternity. All Santa requires is cookies and milk… One night out of the year. Santa Claus… What a guy! — Paul Henderson

I ate everything – a lot of pizza, bags of chips and boxes of cookies. Now I love chicken, that’s all I eat. — Robert Iler

Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. — Dave Barry

She smells better, Claire said. And she made me cookies. — Rachel Caine

Divorce doesn’t fit my cookie-cutter image. — Lindsey Vonn

By synchronizing cookies with name and address from e-mail, registrations, and e-commerce transactions, the merged company would have a surveillance database of Orwellian proportions, — Jason Catlett

I have a bad sweet tooth. I’m pretty good when I have to eat well for work, but otherwise, I could eat a whole roll of raw cookie dough. — Jeremy Renner

And just so you know for the future, I like my double-chocolate chip cookies warm and soft in the middle…and without magnets glued to them. Me, too. When you decide to bake me some, let me know. — Simone Elkeles

I see you looking at my cookies,’ my father said to Morelli. ‘Don’t even think about it. Go get your own cookies. — Janet Evanovich

I am still convinced that a good, simple, homemade cookie is preferable to all the store-bought cookies one can find. — James Beard

I was a Girl Scout and I loved being a Girl Scout. I learned so much as a Girl Scout and I used to sell cookies and it was really fun. — Maria Bartiromo

Ive been competitive since day one. Even in little things as a child, like having a twin and a direct competitor for who makes better cookies. — Gracie Gold

A lot of the television industry is so cookie-cutter. In general, there are so many shows that are easy and bland to watch. You can tune in at any time and know exactly where you are in the story arc because it’s pretty much the same every week. — Adam Baldwin

Thankfully, I’m lucky enough to be able to eat ice cream. I’ve got to have my cookies and cream! But I work out a lot, so I burn a lot of calories. — Adrian Peterson

I like to have cookies in the morning before I go swimming. — Brunello Cucinelli

Kuh-laire, Is cam a fattening Girl Scout Cookie layered with peanut butter and a chocolate coating? No. Then dont make him a tagalong! — Lisi Harrison

Over a quarter million boxes of cookies under this tent. — Reyna Kaneko

I’m very lucky because I love fruit and to this day, that has saved me because I’d much rather have fruit than cookies. — Carrie Ann Inaba

We have seen spokespeople from three of the four companies quoted as saying they will attend. Let’s see if they accept the formal invitations, and we will take it from there. We would certainly like to hear more about the technologies they use over there. Are there cookies that can be used to track dissidents? — Brad Dayspring

I’d rather take risks than make something that’s cookie cutter. — Sandra Bullock

In the cookie of life, friends are the chocolate chips. — Salman Rushdie

I’m not sure about these cookies … They came from the local 7/11 bakery, or whatever. — Mitt Romney

Not everybody is cookie-cutter. You just can’t be. There are too many variables in life. — Sandra Bernhard

I love cookies baking. During the winter, they have these candles that smell like cookies, and I always buy like a hundred of them. — Jared Padalecki

People always starve themselves, and then they get hungry, and then they eat the wrong things, like chips or cookies or whatever they can grab. — Heidi Klum

People have got to learn: if they don’t have cookies in the cookie jar, they can’t eat cookies. — Suze Orman

People ask me how I stay thin, and I’m like, ‘When you go to the grocery store, buy more bananas than cookies.’ — Elizabeth Banks

The fair’s exhibits program is open to all ages. There are exhibit categories for every member of the family from Grandma’s famous cookies to Dad’s woodworking projects. The Spring Fair even offers competitions for the youngsters, including exciting opportunities for the Lego creator in your house. — Ron Brandt

Maybe now I’ll be able to have a couple of extra cookies or ice cream after dinner without feeling so guilty. Or, without my wife yelling at me. — David Larsen

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won’t take it, but somebody always does. — Bill Vaughan

All I think about is the fact that I need to do everything I can to win each game, because it’s not, you know, a social game. It’s not a country-club game where we’re going to go have tea and cookies afterwards. We’re doing this for a living, trying to win. That’s my goal. It’s not to embarrass anyone, it’s to go out and win. — James Blake

Happiness isn’t a fortune in a cookie. It’s deeper, wider, funnier, and more transporting than that. — Elvis Costello

Relax, she’s not really converting. (Acheron) Look at her! She’s not exactly baking cookies! (Xypher) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I love Karlie Kloss. I want to bake cookies with her! — Taylor Swift

I’ve always liked to go down a different path. Being a woman of color, I never followed a cookie cutter way. — Halle Berry

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