113+ Best Dave Chappelle Quotes: Exclusive Selection

David Khari Webber Chappelle is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Chappelle is the recipient of numerous accolades, including two Emmy Awards and three Grammy Awards as well as a Mark Twain Prize. Profoundly inspirational Dave Chappelle quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for great quotes by comedians that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of quotes from Ellen DeGeneres, powerful Johnny Carson quotes and famous W.C. Fields quotes.

Famous Dave Chappelle Quotes

The language you are about to hear… is disturbing. – Dave Chappelle

I want to tell my jokes. I want to have time with my children. I want to entertain people. And at one point, I’ll walk away from show business. But I don’t want to walk away empty-handed. – Dave Chappelle

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone… you answer it. – Dave Chappelle

The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching. – Dave Chappelle

You can’t get unfamous. You can get infamous but you can’t get unfamous. – Dave Chappelle

I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue. – Dave Chappelle

I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you’re a guy who generates money, people have a vested interest in controlling you. – Dave Chappelle

The kid is the best thing that ever happened to me. – Dave Chappelle

Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was too nice. It was a real nice house, but they’d never believe i lived in it. They’d be like ‘He’s still here! – Dave Chappelle

There’s a lot of people who don’t want anything from me but to laugh and have a good time. You see them at the show, and they like – they dress up to come see your show and stuff. And they pack these auditoriums and it’s a lot of fun, man. It’s like, this is how I started, and it’s still fun for me. – Dave Chappelle

I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing. – Dave Chappelle

If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher. – Dave Chappelle

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me. – Dave Chappelle

I’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them. – Dave Chappelle

I don’t do drugs, though. Just weed. – Dave Chappelle

The only thing harder than leaving show business is coming back. – Dave Chappelle

With younger people I’m recognized with always Half-Baked, Blue Streak because it’s on cable. Women, it’s always You’ve Got Mail. Nutty Professor is pretty much everybody across the board. It seems like they like that one. – Dave Chappelle

For one year, I want to do this thing where I guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me. – Dave Chappelle

Jerry Seinfeld, he was doing Letterman show all the time, so he kind of had an excuse, that people know the jokes already. He didn’t have time to do stand-up. A guy like me, I have no excuses. – Dave Chappelle

Stand-up is the kind of gig that’ll show you where you’re at. – Dave Chappelle

I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds. – Dave Chappelle

Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right. – Dave Chappelle

I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear – I’m not mad at anybody – not anymore. – Dave Chappelle

If you’re Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, and your marriage is breaking up – that’s an awful thing. But to see that speculation in people, it’s gotta sting a little bit. – Dave Chappelle

When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself. – Dave Chappelle

Hey hey hey, smoke weed everyday – Dave Chappelle

What that’s allowed me to do is have a vantage point about my own life that’s accessible to people still. I could see a guy walking down the street and be like, Even though I’m famous, I got more in common with this guy than, like, Brad Pitt. – Dave Chappelle

I got a lot of positive people around me. – Dave Chappelle

My kids look actually happy. And I learned early on that perfectionism and parenthood is a toxic combination for everybody involved. In other words, so many things can flourish naturally. All you gotta do is make sure the soil’s right. I view myself more like a guide than a ruler. – Dave Chappelle

You got to be careful of the company you keep. – Dave Chappelle

I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave. – Dave Chappelle

My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else. – Dave Chappelle

I don’t really frick with Africa cause people are starving to death and that’s not ballin’ to me. – Dave Chappelle

I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives. – Dave Chappelle

They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is. – Dave Chappelle

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! – Dave Chappelle

You’ve got to say ‘yes’ to your destiny. Life’s happening right now, look around you. There goes some life. Come on, Mamma, live! – Dave Chappelle

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go. – Dave Chappelle

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. – Dave Chappelle

Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue. – Dave Chappelle

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed. – Dave Chappelle

Dave! Relax! Close your buttcheeks! – Dave Chappelle

Cause my life is dope, and I do dope sh*t – Dave Chappelle

Where I’m from? A little town called none of yo god damn business. – Dave Chappelle

There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic. – Dave Chappelle

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought, he could win he wouldn’t even say that. – Dave Chappelle

All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high. – Dave Chappelle

Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous. – Dave Chappelle

I was 23. When you’re 23, your concern is not for the greater good of humanity. I didn’t feel like I was unleashing an evil on society or anything. At the time, that’s what I was into, and I did a movie about it. – Dave Chappelle

I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image? – Dave Chappelle

You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it. – Dave Chappelle

What did the 5 fingers say to the face. S L A P! – Dave Chappelle

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. – Dave Chappelle

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. – Dave Chappelle

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you. – Dave Chappelle

Why is Dave Chappelle going to Africa? Why does Mariah Carey make a hundred-million-dollar deal and take her clothes off on TRL? A weak person cannot get here and talk to you. Ain’t no weak people talking to you. So what is happening in Hollywood? Nobody knows! The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. I don’t understand this person, so they’re crazy. These people are not crazy, they’re strong people. Maybe the environment is a little sick. – Dave Chappelle

Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you. – Dave Chappelle

The world can’t tell you who you are. You’ve just got to figure out who you are and be there, for better or worse. – Dave Chappelle

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it. – Dave Chappelle

One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change. – Dave Chappelle

I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes. – Dave Chappelle

I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford. – Dave Chappelle

I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally. – Dave Chappelle

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive. – Dave Chappelle

My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’ – Dave Chappelle

Every black American is bilingual. All of them. We speak street vernacular and we speak ‘job interview.’ – Dave Chappelle

Money is the fuel for choices. Money gives me choices, so it’s not nothing, it’s something. But it’s not the end all, be all. There are other things in my life that I did not purchase with money that are very valuable. – Dave Chappelle

There’s not too many people that don’t think I’m crazy, for walking away from so much money. I’m at a restaurant with my wife, it’s a nice restaurant, we’re eating dinner. I look across the room, I say, ‘You see this guy over here, across the room? He has $100 million.’ And we’re eating the same entree. So, OK, fine, I don’t have $50 million or whatever it was, but say I have $10 million in the bank. The difference in lifestyle is miniscule. – Dave Chappelle

Most people don’t know what it’s like to stand up there and speak their mind. I have a venue to do that. I get paid to do that. It’s not like I’m doing heavy lifting up there. It’s not like I’m solving the world’s problems. It’s like I’m hanging out with a bunch of people and it’s cool. – Dave Chappelle

I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful if you learn it the right way. – Dave Chappelle

I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it. – Dave Chappelle

If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself. – Dave Chappelle

People don’t know what it’s like standing up there onstage, when you have a wall of people smiling at you. – Dave Chappelle

I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it. – Dave Chappelle

Most of the people around me have a vested interest in how much money I make. You know, so a celebrity could find themselves in a position where people could have meetings about their life without them involved. And when I say ‘their life’ I mean not their professional life either. They could talk about their personal life. – Dave Chappelle

After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding. – Dave Chappelle

If I put forth a legitimate effort, then I feel like, if that doesn’t work out, that’s all I can do. – Dave Chappelle

You can become famous but you can’t become unfamous. You can become infamous but not unfamous. – Dave Chappelle

I just always loved stand-up. It’s like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of people laughs together. Say something else, they laugh again. The fact that people come to see that and participate in that… I don’t know, it’s just like magic. – Dave Chappelle

Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through. – Dave Chappelle

I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again. – Dave Chappelle

Whether it means having a show, or a movie, or just being on a stage, I need an avenue to say what I have to say. – Dave Chappelle

I think extreme sports are really good for relieving stress. – Dave Chappelle

Because I was surrounded by so much negativity at some point that it took me going back and doing stand-up to realize, you know, people really like me. – Dave Chappelle

I’ve done 10 or 11 pilots for network television, which is ridiculous. – Dave Chappelle

I got real important relationships in my life that are very empowering relationships. – Dave Chappelle

I don’t care if I ever work in TV again. – Dave Chappelle

I’ve been a comedian since I was fourteen. But I’ve never really been a CEO. – Dave Chappelle

The higher up I went, the less happy I was. – Dave Chappelle

Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything. – Dave Chappelle

What a great young man and a great representative of Georgia Tech, – Dave Chappelle

A celebrity, whatever I am, you get cut off sometimes from people just by circumstance. – Dave Chappelle

I think one artist to another artist, the best compliment you can pay one another, because the part of you that is inspired or creates something, to write a joke or a song, that’s like the God-like part of a person. – Dave Chappelle

I want be a guest-star on as many television shows as I possibly can. I love television. The fact that television ultimately made me famous was very gratifying for me. – Dave Chappelle

I just like seeing people. I just like meeting people. I like finding out new walks of life and new ideas. – Dave Chappelle

My own life is accessible to people still. I could see a guy walking down the street and, even though I’m famous, I got more in common with this guy than, like, Brad Pitt. – Dave Chappelle

I love being famous – it’s phenomenal. – Dave Chappelle

I would go to work on the show, and I felt awful every day, that’s not the way it was. … I felt like some kind of prostitute or something. If I feel so bad, why keep on showing up to this place? I’m going to Africa. The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching. – Dave Chappelle

America, I appreciate you liking me. – Dave Chappelle

Comedy is a very approval-oriented field. – Dave Chappelle

My generation is under-entertained. – Dave Chappelle

I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing. – Dave Chappelle

Why don’t you click your heels three times and go back to Africa. – Dave Chappelle

New white people, you can’t scare these white people, I tried. – Dave Chappelle

No one wants to get their ass beat to a soundtrack. – Dave Chappelle

The biggest enemy of an artist is apathy… A kid gets killed by the police and I buy a T-shirt and before I can wear that one, there’s another kid (killed) and I’m running out of closet space. – Dave Chappelle

Is this the 5:00 Free Crack Giveaway? – Dave Chappelle

Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work. – Dave Chappelle

What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant. – Dave Chappelle

I’m an introspective dude. – Dave Chappelle

I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that. – Dave Chappelle

Who goes from America to Africa for medical attention? – Dave Chappelle

I’m Dave Chappelle and I’m a chronic masturbator. – Dave Chappelle

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