Dear Woman: Don’t Stay In a Wrong Toxic Relationship All Because You Love Him

“A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the
woman he loves”
Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

I am not a love expert nor have had a perfect relationship neither. I have misread the signs when I needed to jump the ship. But after contemplating and meditating things, I have realized I don’t want to settle with a man who always mistreated me. I won’t stay with a toxic relationship when I’m supposed to be dancing out there, enjoying the things I deserve. I won’t be entice with a man’s sweet words, fall in love, and then drop me off when I’m high on him. I won’t be a martyr anymore all because I love him.

Maybe, I’ve been watching too many movies, and been reading too many Nicholas Sparks’ books. They say, “You can’t find a guy like that. They only exist in movies and books!” Yes, they might be too good to be true, but I believe that if a man loves you, he would do anything, literally and figuratively anything to keep you. But if a man is not that into you, believe me, one day, he’ll drop you without saying a thing. You are left with broken heart and broken bones, but I’ll tell you, that would be the best thing that will have ever happened to you.

I have several friends who are slaves of love. I mean, I have been there, I was once of them but I know when and how to stop. I’m not saying that you should be like me, I’m saying you shouldn’t ignore the red flags, if he’s treating you like a shit, you are probably a shit on him. Do not fight for a spot on his life  because if he loves you, he will put you there with no ifs and buts and be his top priority. Too many girls are confused with love and ownership. You think he loves you when he’s being possessive, maybe, yes, a man who loves you will guard you and make a territory out of you, but watch out. If a man is always jealous, to the point the he’s preventing you to see your friends while he can do anything and everything he wants. Congratulation, you’ve just got an asshole who will eventually ruin your life! And all the same, if you are angry all the time when he’s talking with his friends or girl friends, and you are tempted to lurk on his phone or social medias, ask yourself this question, is this still healthy? No, right? Jealousy and possessiveness are normal but as they said, all too much is dangerous. There’s love, definitely a huge love, but no trust. A relationship without trust only cause you with deep anxiety and stress. Let it go.

Girl, wake up! You know very well that he’s not the right one for you and yet you choose to stay and keep him around you, well, maybe, you are so comfortable to be with him but no woman should be comfortable with being mistreated. You know how to live your life and you know that you are better off without him but you just don’t want to because you are afraid of changes. You are a beautiful, smart ass woman, who doesn’t deserve to be treated like a doormat. Why would you even settle with a life like that when you are supposed to enjoy the things that life has offered. Stop begging for his time, love, and affection. If he doesn’t respect you as a woman and always ignores your concerns, sorry not sorry to drop this off but he doesn’t love you. He’s just staying because you want him to stay and why not, he could still do whatever he wants while taking all his advantages on you. He’s staying because you are still beneficial in his life but once he finds someone better, you are left with nothing. You are just nothing but a ragged doll left in the corner because he’s done playing with you; because you didn’t leave a single love on yourself; because you’ve poured all the love and all you on a stupid freak who doesn’t deserve all the feelings and effort you have invested. And why would you wait for that day to come when you can find your own feet now and stand on your ground. Yes, it’s difficult to move your foot forward away from the person who you give your all. But remember, this person will never change and you don’t deserve this kind of shit. Learn to walk away from the things that destroy your well-being. You deserve a selfless love and that starts on loving yourself. You can never teach a man to love you. You can’t say that you should love me this way and not that way. You teach them how to love you based on how you love yourself.