111+ Best Douglas Adams Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Douglas Noel Adams was an English author, screenwriter, essayist, humorist, satirist and dramatist. Profoundly inspirational Douglas Adams quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for quotes from greatest authors that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert, powerful Ernest Hemingway quotes and famous Franz Kafka quotes.

Famous Douglas Adams Quotes

The seat received him in a loose and distant kind of way, like an aunt who disapproves of the last fifteen years of your life and will therefore furnish you with a basic sherry but refuses to catch your eye. – Douglas Adams

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t. – Douglas Adams

The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis. – Douglas Adams

If you took a couple of David Bowies and stuck one of the David Bowies on the top of the other David Bowie, then attached another David Bowie to the end of each of the arms of the upper of the first two David Bowies and wrapped the whole business up in a dirty beach robe you would then have something which didn’t exactly look like John Watson, but which those who knew him would find hauntingly familiar. – Douglas Adams

What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can’t move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn’t been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won’t be troubling you much longer. – Douglas Adams

He hoped and prayed that there wasn’t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn’t an afterlife. – Douglas Adams

So long, and thanks for all the fish. – Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing noise they make as they go by. – Douglas Adams

That was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds earlier, but this was now the final real ulimate it. – Douglas Adams

If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. – Douglas Adams

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. – Douglas Adams

I don’t believe it. Prove it to me and I still won’t believe it. – Douglas Adams

Life is wasted on the living. – Douglas Adams

My absolute favorite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs and fall out of trees. – Douglas Adams

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred-character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79. – Douglas Adams

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. – Douglas Adams

I find that writing is a constant battle with exactly the same problems you’ve always had. – Douglas Adams

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks. – Douglas Adams

He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left. – Douglas Adams

One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work – supposing you’re trying to find out how a cat works–you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you’ve got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn’t a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis. – Douglas Adams

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer – Douglas Adams

What’s up? I don’t know, said Marvin, I’ve never been there. – Douglas Adams

The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be. – Douglas Adams

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. – Douglas Adams

To boldly split infinitives that no man had split before. – Douglas Adams

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. – Douglas Adams

I don’t want to die now! he yelled. I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it! – Douglas Adams

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. – Douglas Adams

Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don’t eat the apple. Surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting Gotcha. It wouldn’t have made any difference if they hadn’t eaten it.’ ‘Why not?’ ‘Because if you’re dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well, they won’t give up. They’ll get you in the end. – Douglas Adams

The first ten million years were the worst, said Marvin, and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn’t enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline. – Douglas Adams

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. – Douglas Adams

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. – Douglas Adams

Being offended by things is the world’s big hobby at the moment. It’s almost taken over from wearing goatee beards. – Douglas Adams

The mere thought hadn’t even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind. – Douglas Adams

Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge? – Douglas Adams

In an infinite Universe anything can happen. – Douglas Adams

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now. – Douglas Adams

Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation. – Douglas Adams

Don’t believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose. – Douglas Adams

My universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay. – Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. – Douglas Adams

Anything invented before your fifteenth birthday is the order of nature. That’s how it should be. Anything invented between your th and th birthday is new and exciting, and you might get a career there. Anything invented after that day, however, is against nature and should be prohibited. – Douglas Adams

Don’t you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn’t developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don’t expect to see. – Douglas Adams

In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground. – Douglas Adams

My own strategy is to find a car, or the nearest equivalent, which looks as if it knows where it’s going and follow it. I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be. – Douglas Adams

Arthur blinked at the screens and felt he was missing something important. Suddenly he realized what it was. Is there any tea on this spaceship? he asked. – Douglas Adams

The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. – Douglas Adams

A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment. – Douglas Adams

The dew has fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning. – Douglas Adams

Most of the time spent wrestling with technologies that don’t quite work yet is just not worth it for end users, however much fun it is for nerds. – Douglas Adams

All through my life I’ve had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was. No, said the old man, that’s just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that. – Douglas Adams

The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don’t even know you’re making. – Douglas Adams

Reality is hopelessly inaccurate. – Douglas Adams

The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood. – Douglas Adams

The truth of the matter is, that most English people don’t know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants. – Douglas Adams

People always make this totally artificial distinction between what is commercial and what is good. They quote that maxim Nobody ever lost money underestimating the public’s taste and I think that’s very wrongheaded. I like to believe the audience is actually intelligent, because it’s made up of other people like yourself. – Douglas Adams

The books people are writing today, they’re too long. You get a little bit of plot, and then pages and pages of Creative Writing. They teach classes in how to do this. They should teach classes in how to stop! – Douglas Adams

Space is unimaginably big. – Douglas Adams

We can’t win against obsession. They care, we don’t. They win. – Douglas Adams

The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%. – Douglas Adams

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. – Douglas Adams

When the idea comes, I often can’t remember where it came from. I remember very little about writing the first series of Hitchhiker’s. It’s almost as if someone else wrote it. – Douglas Adams

The idea was fantastically, wildly improbable. But like most fantastically, wildly improbable ideas it was at least as worthy of consideration as a more mundane one to which the facts had been strenuously bent to fit. – Douglas Adams

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be. – Douglas Adams

Deep in the fundamental heart of mind and Universe there is a reason. – Douglas Adams

Goosnargh, said Ford Prefect, which was a special Betelgeusian word he used when he knew he should say something but didn’t know what it should be. – Douglas Adams

Beethoven tells you what it’s like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it’s like to be human. Bach tells you what it’s like to be the universe. – Douglas Adams

The light works, he said, indicating the window, the gravity works, he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. Anything else we have to take our chances with. – Douglas Adams

Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an absolute but depended on the observer’s movement in space, and that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer’s movement in time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer’s movement in restaurants. – Douglas Adams

In moments of great stress, every life form that exists gives out a tiny subliminal signal. – Douglas Adams

Life, said Marvin dolefully, loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it. – Douglas Adams

I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: Macintosh – We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end. – Douglas Adams

They wouldn’t even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. – Douglas Adams

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons. – Douglas Adams

So the hours are pretty good then?’ he resumed. The Vogon stared down at him as sluggish thoughts moiled around in the murky depths. Yeah,’ he said, ‘but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy. – Douglas Adams

Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn’t necessarily do it in chronological order, though. – Douglas Adams

From another direction he felt the sensation of being a sheep startled by a flying saucer, but it was virtually indistinguishable from the feeling of being a sheep startled by anything else it ever encountered, for they were creatures who learned very little on their journey through life, and would be startled to see the sun rising in the morning, and astonished by all the green stuff in the fields. – Douglas Adams

Yes, I think I use the term radical rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as atheist some people will say, don’t you mean agnostic? I have to reply that I really do mean atheist, I really do not believe that there is a god; in fact, I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one…etc., etc. It’s easier to say that I am a radical atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal and that it’s an opinion I hold seriously. – Douglas Adams

It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end. – Douglas Adams

I’d far rather be happy than right any day. – Douglas Adams

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American. – Douglas Adams

I’d take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day. – Douglas Adams

My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre and that I am therefore excused from saving universes. – Douglas Adams

In those days’ spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. – Douglas Adams

I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously. – Douglas Adams

Space is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space. – Douglas Adams

Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn’t work properly yet – Douglas Adams

Listen, three eyes, he said, don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. – Douglas Adams

A learning experience is one of those things that says, ‘You know that thing you just did? Don’t do that. – Douglas Adams

First, we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we’ve realized it’s a brochure. – Douglas Adams

So, the world is fine. We don’t have to save the world—the world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about, is whether or not the world we live in, will be capable of sustaining us in it. That’s what we need to think about. – Douglas Adams

But the plans were on display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them. That’s the display department. With a flashlight. Ah, well, the lights had probably gone. So had the stairs. But look, you found the notice, didn’t you? Yes, said Arthur, yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard. – Douglas Adams

The only thing nicer than a phone that didn’t ring all the time (or indeed at all) was six phones that didn’t ring all the time (or indeed at all). – Douglas Adams

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. – Douglas Adams

Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the ‘Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence’ syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. – Douglas Adams

Siamese Cats have a way of staring at you. Those who have walked in on the Queen cleaning her teeth will know the expression. – Douglas Adams

Arthur Dent: What happens if I press this button? Ford Prefect: I wouldn’t- Arthur Dent: Oh. Ford Prefect: What happened? Arthur Dent: A sign lit up, saying ‘Please do not press this button again. – Douglas Adams

We all like to congregate at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where bodies meet mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side and look at the other. – Douglas Adams

I think a nerd is a person who uses the telephone to talk to other people about telephones. And a computer nerd therefore is somebody who uses a computer in order to use a computer. – Douglas Adams

If there was one thing life had taught her it was that there are times when you do not go back for your bag and times when you do. It had yet to teach her to distinguish between the two types of occasion. – Douglas Adams

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. – Douglas Adams

Will you stop counting!’ snarled Zaphod. ‘Yes,’ said Ford Prefect, ‘in three minutes and thirty-five seconds. – Douglas Adams

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works. – Douglas Adams

Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. – Douglas Adams

What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I’d far rather be happy than right any day. – Douglas Adams

I begged her, ‘Please don’t leave me stranded in the middle of some primitive zarking forest with no medical help and a head injury. I could be in serious trouble and so could she.’ What did she say? She hit me on the head with the rock again, Ford responded curtly. I think i can confirm that was my daughter. Sweet kid. You have to get to know her, said Arthur. She eases up, does she? No, but you get a better sense of when to duck. – Douglas Adams

Everybody has their moment of great opportunity in life. If you happen to miss the one you care about, then everything else becomes eerily easy. – Douglas Adams

Shee, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off. – Douglas Adams

All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others. – Douglas Adams

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. – Douglas Adams

I have always been absurdly, ridiculously tall. To give you an idea when we went on school trips to Interesting and Improving Places, the form-master wouldn’t say Meet under the clock tower, or Meet under the War Memorial, but Meet under Adams. – Douglas Adams

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