Drinking is the act of taking liquid in through your mouth. The most famous drinking quotes help you to see the funny side of life and make you rethink. Some of them are humorous, others are thought-provoking.
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Famous Drinking Quotes
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
I drink to make other people more interesting. Ernest Hemingway
I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom. Edgar Allan Poe
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Ogden Nash
I drink to make other people more interesting. Hemingway Ernest
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world. Oscar Wilde
Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you’re allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It’s like killing yourself, and then you’re reborn. I guess I’ve lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now. Charles Bukowski
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly. Ron Burgundy
Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life. F. Scott Fitzgerald
A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk. Charlie Chaplin
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. Benjamin Franklin
Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health. Thomas Jefferson
Next to music, beer was best. Carson McCullers
The more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink. Phoebe Buffay
A lady came up to me one day and said Sir! You are drunk, to which I replied I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill
There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. Bette Davis
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W.C. Fields
Wine is sunlight, held together by water. Galileo
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Ernest Hemingway
Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka. Jim Butcher
In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say scientists? I meant Irish people. Tina Fey
There are two kinds of people I don’t trust people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers. Chelsea Handler
They say as soon as you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem. Don Draper
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail. David Sedaris
Independence is a heady draught, and if you drink it in your youth, it can have the same effect on the brain as young wine does. It does not matter that its taste is not always appealing. It is addictive and with each drink you want more. Maya Angelou
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools. Ernest Hemingway
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill
Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. G.K. Chesterton
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. Dean Martin
Good people drink good beer. Hunter S. Thompson
I don’t have a drinking problem, cept when I can’t get a drink.Tom Waits
I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish. Anne Lamott
Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world. Jack Nicholson
I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers sword and made me feel powerful and godlike. Sylvia Plath
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough. Mark Twain
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. Steve Martin
I pray you, do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine. William Shakespeare
I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around. Chelsea Handler
I work until beer o’clock. Stephen King
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar. Drew Carey
Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whisky and a dog to eat the rare steak. Johnny Carson
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world. Oscar Wilde
Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life. F. Scott Fitzgerald
She was the third beer. Not the first one, which the throat receives with almost tearful gratitude; nor the second, that confirms and extends the pleasure of the first. But the third, the one you drink because it’s there, because it can’t hurt, and because what difference does it make? Toni Morrison
That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.Tyrion Lannister
For art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable: intoxication. Friedrich Nietzsche
They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am. Stephen Colbert
If you ever know a man who tries to drown his sorrows, kindly inform him his sorrows know how to swim. Pittacus Lore
Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. Steve Martin
Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy! Warren Ellis
There’s a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. Lt. Archie Hicox
I like to change liquor stores frequently because the clerks got to know your habits if you went in night and day and bought huge quantities. I could feel them wondering why I wasn’t dead yet and it made me uncomfortable. They probably weren’t thinking any such thing, but then a man gets paranoid when he has 300 hangovers a year. Charles Bukowski
Vodka is kind of a hobby. Betty White
I don’t have a drinking problem Cept when I can’t get a drink. Tom Waits
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. Arnold Schwarzenegger
There comes a time in every woman’s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne. Bette Davis
Don’t be such a square. Everybody who’s anybody drinks. Lorraine Baines
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. Dorothy Parker
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin
Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living. George Bernard Shaw
Wasted away again in Margaritaville. Jimmy Buffett
To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems. Matt Groening
Never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away. Alex Hitch
Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! Martin Luther
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra
Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness. Oscar Wilde
There are two kinds of people I don’t trust people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers. Chelsea Handler
Sublime is something you choke on after a shot of tequila. Mark Z. Danielewski
Why is the rum gone? Jack Sparrow
They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am. Stephen Colbert
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. William Butler Yeats
I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. But alcohol can’t talk. It just sits there. It can’t even get itself out of the bottle. David Levithan
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort, it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail. David Sedaris
War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy. William Faulkner
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets. Ron Swanson
So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts. Alexandre Dumas
My justification is that most people my age spend a lot of time thinking about what they’re going to do for the next five or 10 years. The time they spend thinking about their life, I just spend drinking. Amy Winehouse
I would not put a thief in my mouth to steal my brains. William Shakespeare
You say potato, I say vodka. Karen Walker
That is the remarkable thing about drinking it brings people together so quickly, but between night and morning it sets an interval again of years. Erich Maria Remarque
What good can drinkin do, what good can drinkin do? Lord, I drink all night but the next day I still feel blue. Janis Joplin
Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance. Benjamin Franklin
I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it. Mark Twain
Shaken, not stirred. James Bond
Always remember, that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Winston S. Churchill
A man may acquire a taste for wine or brandy, and so lose his love for water, but should we not pity him. Henry David Thoreau
The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. Jeff Foxworthy
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50 and a fool if he doesn’t afterward. Frank Lloyd Wright
Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel’s nipples. Warren Ellis
Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. Louis Pasteur
The stains could be seen only in the sunlight, so Ruth was never really aware of them until later, when she would stop at an outdoor cafe for a cup of coffee, and look down at her skirt and see the dark traces of spilled vodka or whiskey. The alcohol had the effect of making the black cloth blacker. This amused her; she had noted in her journal booze affects material as it does people. Alice Sebold
It is the wine that leads me on, the wild wine that sets the wisest man to sing at the top of his lungs, laugh like a fool it drives the man to dancing it even tempts him to blurt out stories better never told. Homer
I’m a drinker with writing problems. Brendan Behan
My own experience has been that the tools I need for my trade are paper, tobacco, food and a little whiskey. William Faulkner
I mean, you know how it is. You chase a bottle of sleeping pills with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and life’s never the same, no matter how many times you try to tell people it was just an accident. Courtney Summers
Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems. Homer Simpson
When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint just outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon. James Crumley
