Baseball is a bat-and-ball game played between two opposing teams who take turns batting and fielding. Profoundly inspirational funny baseball quotes will make you look at life differently and help you live a meaningful life.
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Famous Funny Baseball Quotes
Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every day, and that’s the way baseball is. Bullet Bob Feller
Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal. George Will
People ask me what I do in the winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. Rogers Hornsby
I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture. Bob Uecker
Playing baseball for a living is like having a license to steal. Pete Rose
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? Jim Bouton
If my uniform doesn’t get dirty, I haven’t done anything in the baseball game. Rickey Henderson
The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers. Earl Weaver
I’d be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball. Pete Rose
He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious. Yogi Berra
Fans don’t boo nobodies. Reggie Jackson
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk. Confucius
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. Ted Williams
Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets. Yogi Berra
When you start the game, they don’t say Work ball! They say, Play ball! Willie Stargell
Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you. Satchel Paige
The game had done much for me, and I had done much for it. Jackie Robinson.
All ballplayers should quit when it starts to feel as if all the baselines run uphill. Babe Ruth
If you’re not practicing, somebody else is, somewhere, and he’ll be ready to take your job. Brooks Robinson
The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen. Bob Lemon
Well, it took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball, and I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. Hank Aaron
I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it. Sandy Koufax
Pitching is the art of instilling fear. Sandy Koufax
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. Dizzy Dean
Every strike brings me closer to the next home run. Babe Ruth
It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. A. Bartlett Giamatti
Never allow the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Babe Ruth
The hardest thing to do in baseball is to hit a round baseball with a round bat, squarely. Ted Williams
Baseball is, was, and always will be the best game in the world to me. Babe Ruth
Chicks who dig home runs aren’t the ones who appeal to me. I think there’s sexiness in infield hits because they require technique. I’d rather impress the chicks with my technique than with my brute strength. Then, every now and then, just to show I can do that, too, I might flirt a little by hitting one out. Ichiro Suzuki
There are three types of baseball players those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happened. Tommy Lasorda
People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. Rogers Hornsby
Baseball is like driving, it’s the one who gets home safely that counts. Tommy Lasorda
With the money I’m making, I should be playing two positions. Pete Rose
Bad ballplayers make great managers, not the other way around. All I can do is help them be as good as they are. Earl Weaver
If God wanted football played in the spring, he would not have invented baseball. Sam Rutigliano
A baseball manager is a necessary evil. George Sparky Anderson
I’ve come to the conclusion that the two most important things in life are good friends and a good bullpen. Bob Lemon
If you don’t know where you are currently standing, you’re dead. Samuel Beckett
The greatest feeling in the world is to win a major league game. The second greatest feeling is to lose a major league game. Chuck Tanner
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. Abe Lemons
I really love the togetherness in baseball. That’s real true love. Billy Martin
When you win you eat better, sleep better and your beer tastes better. And your wife looks like Gina Lollobrigida. Johnny Pesky
Baseball is like church. Many attend, but few understand. Leo Ernest Durocher
I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it. Rogers Hornsby
Close doesn’t count in baseball. Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades. Frank Robinson
Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn’t score any runs. Tim McCarver
Never save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain. Leo Durocher
There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work. Charley Lau
He’ll need a rocket up his ass to catch that one; that baby’s out of here. Harry Doyle
There are three things in my life which I really love God, my family, and baseball. The only problem once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit. Al Gallagher
Ok, we won a game yesterday. If we win today, it’s called two in a row. And if we win again tomorrow, it’s called a winning streak. It has happened before! Lou Brown
I believe in the Church of Baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. Ron Shelton
There’s no crying in baseball! Jimmy Dugan
Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published everyday, like those of a baseball player. William Alexander
All I know is when we win a game, it’s team win. When we lose a game, it’s a team loss. Coach Morris Buttermaker
When we played softball, I’d steal second base, feel guilty and go back. Woody Allen
Legends never die. The Babe
Baseball is reassuring. It makes me feel as if the world is not going to blow up. Sharon Olds
How can you not get romantic about baseball? Billy Beane
The other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love. Bryant Gumbel
Baseball was, is, and always will be the best game in the world to me. Babe Ruth
So I’m ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face. Yogi Berra
Playing baseball for a living is like having a license to steal. Pete Rose
During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at bats a season. That means I played 7 years without ever hitting the ball. Mickey Mantle
Fans don’t boo nobodies. Reggie Jackson
Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off. Bill Veeck
I think I was the best baseball player I ever saw. Willie Mays
Baseball is like a poker game. Nobody wants to quit when he’s losing; nobody wants you to quit when you’re ahead. Jackie Robinson
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. Ted Williams
What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs. Harry Caray
It ain’t nothin till I call it. Bill Klem
Baseball statistics are like a girl in a bikini. They show a lot, but not everything. Toby Harrah
A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz. Humphrey Bogart
Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living. Phil Linz
Close doesn’t count in baseball. Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades. Frank Robinson
On the appearance of Clayton Moore at a Blue Jays home game It’s not very often you get to see the Lone Ranger and Toronto in the same night. Bobby Bragan
Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. George Will
Baseball without fans is like Jayne Mansfield without a sweater. Hang on, that can be taken two ways. Richard M. Nixon
Baseball is like church. Many attend, but few understand. Leo Ernest Durocher
A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings. Earl Wilson
Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball. Jacques Barzun
Nothing flatters me more than to have it assumed that I could write prose, unless it be to have it assumed that I once pitched a baseball with distinction. Robert Frost
There are only two seasons winter and baseball. Bill Veeck, Jr.
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror. George Carlin
People ask me what I do in the winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring. Rogers Hornsby
A man once told me to walk with the Lord. I’d rather walk with the bases loaded. Ken Singleton
There is always some kid who may be seeing me for the first or last time, I owe him my best. Joe DiMaggio
I know a baseball star who wouldn’t report the theft of his wife’s credit cards because the thief spends less than she does. Joe Garagiola
My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging. Hank Aaron
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base. Dave Barry
Every great batter works on the theory that the pitcher is more afraid of him than he is of the pitcher. Ty Cobb
To a pitcher, a base hit is the perfect example of negative feedback. Steve Hovley
The ballplayer who loses his head, who can’t keep his cool, is worse than no ballplayer at all. Lou Gehrig
You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours. Yogi Berra
Somebody once asked me if I ever went up to the plate trying to hit a home run. I said, Sure, every time. Mickey Mantle
After I hit a home run I had a habit of running the bases with my head down. I figured the pitcher already felt bad enough without me showing him up rounding the bases. Mickey Mantle
Enjoying success requires the ability to adapt. Only by being open to change will you have a true opportunity to get the most from your talent. Nolan Ryan
It’s a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square. Pete Rose
