65+ Best Funny Beer Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Beer is one of the oldest and most widely consumed alcoholic drinks in the world, and the third most popular drink overall after water and tea. Inspirational funny beer quotes will brighten up your day and make you feel ready to take on anything.

If you’re searching for funniest quotes and famous funny movie quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny breakup quotes, hilarious car quotes and funniest cat quotes.

Famous Funny Beer Quotes

I’ve always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap. – Rudyard Wheatley

You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are. – Adolphus Busch

Things don’t make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that’s something everyone can do. – Drew Carey

Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean. Against bars, tables, chairs, and poles. – Gerard Way

Fermentation may have been a better invention than fire. – David Rains Wallace

funny beer quotes

A guy sitting with his girlfriend, drinking beer says, I love you. Girl asks is it you or the beer talking? Boy replies, Its me. Talking to my beer. – Unknown

Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime! – Bill Owen

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. – Jack Handy

Wine is complicated, beer is complex. – Brett Joyce

Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into. – Don Marquis

He was a wise man who invented beer. – Plato

Beer, if drank with moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health. – Thomas Jefferson

A bottle of beer contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. – Louis Pasteur

Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world. – Jack Nicholson

Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health. – Thomas Jefferson

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer. – Frank Zappa

From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world. – Saint Arnoldus

Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

You from within our glasses, you lusty golden brew, whoever imbibes takes fire from you. The young and the old sing your praises. Here’s to beer, here’s to cheer, here’s to beer. – Bedrich Smetana

Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! – Martin Luther

A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure. – Czech Proverb

A man who lies about beer makes enemies. – Stephen King

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people. – Tina Fey

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. – Homer Simpson

They who drink beer will think beer. – Washington Irving

As to the way of life of the English, they are somewhat impolite, for they belch at the table without shame. They consume great quantities of beer. – Father Etienne Perlin

There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer. – Joan Goldstein

Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods. – Bruce Carlton

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. – Henry Lawson

Beer is the center of everything. Everything revolves around beer. When you drink beer, everything revolves. Therefore beer is the center of everything. – University of Waterloo Engineers

You put the beer in the coconut and drink it all up. You put the beer in the coconut and throw the can away. – Homer Simpson

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me? – J. P. Donleavy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. – Dave Barry

There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better. – Stephen Morris

Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same. – Hugh Hood

Beer … a high and mighty liquor. – Julius Caesar

Homer no function beer well without. – Homer Simpson

Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer – it has always been thus. – Peter Richmond

Never ask for ‘a beer. – Michael Jackson

Beer Speaks. People Mumble. – Tony Magee

I am very picky about my people and my beer. – Shelby Lynne

A meal of bread, cheese and beer constitutes the perfect food. – Queen Elizabeth I

I work until beer o’clock. – Stephen King

Beer is an improvement on water itself. – Grant Johnson

There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says ‘Good people drink good beer.’ Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it. – Hunter S. Thompson

Draft beer, not people. – Author Unknown

Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it’s all-hahhhh. – Thomas Pynchon

Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working. – Harold Rudolph

I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror. – Sid Vicious

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. – Abraham Lincoln

There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others. – Bill Carter

This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption… Beer! – Friar Tuck

Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean … against bars, tables, chairs and poles. – Author Unknown

Anyone can drink beer, but it takes intelligence to enjoy beer. – Stephen Beaumont

Religions change, but beer and wine remain. – Harvey Allen

Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer! – Louis Untermeyer

Isn’t beer the holy libation of sincerity? The potion that dispels all hypocrisy, any charade of fine manners? The drink that does nothing worse than incite its fans to urinate in all innocence, to gain weight in all frankness? – Milan Kundera

Most people hate the taste of beer-to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice. – Winston Churchill

Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it. – Ray Bradbury

Let a man walk ten miles steadily on a hot summer’s day along a dusty English road, and he will soon discover why beer was invented. – Gilbert K. Chesterton

Beer may cause you to digress – and lead a happier life. – Michael Jackson

Fermentation and civilization are inseparable. – John Ciardi

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.