70+ Best Funny Car Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Instantly

A car is a wheeled motor vehicle used for transportation. Inspirational funny car quotes will make you look at life differently and help you live a meaningful life.

If you’re searching for really funny quotes and funniest inspirational quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny cat quotes, hilarious celebrity quotes and funniest coffee quotes.

Famous Funny Car Quotes

The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man. Marshall McLuhan

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. Dudley Moore

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein

With each replacement of parts, a car slowly becomes Chinese. Mr. Kuniyasu

We aren’t addicted to oil, but our cars are. James Woolsey

Relationships, like cars, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy. Zygmunt Bauman

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. Doug Larson

Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus. Francoise Sagan

In the old days drivers were fat and tires were skinny. Jose Froilan Gonzalez

Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer. Unknown

The car has become an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete in the urban compound. Marshall McLuhan

funny car quotes

Bicycling is a big part of the future. It has to be. There’s something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym. Bill Nye

A car for every purse and purpose. Alfred P. Sloan

If you don’t look back at your car after you park it, you own the wrong car. Truth

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? Steven Wright

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy

My wife wants sex in the back of the car, and she wants me to drive. Rodney Dangerfield

Flying cars are not a very efficient way to move things from one point to another. Bill Gates

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.’ Rita Rudner

The racing driver needs to be fed a diet of other racing drivers. Carroll Smith

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. Bill Vaughan

You can have any color you like as long as it’s black. Henry Ford

Don’t get your fuel from the same place your car does Michael Pollan

The winner ain’t the one with the fastest car; it’s the one who refuses to lose. Dale Earnhardt

The cars we drive say a lot about us. Alexandra Paul

extremely funny car quotes

Best Funny Car Quotes

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck

Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car. Craig Benzine

Take it easy driving, the life you save may be mine. James Dean

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I’m the only one moving. Steven Wright

Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers. Colin Mcrae

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. Ben Berger

We’re in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone’s arguing over where they’re going to sit. David Suzuki

If one day the speed kills me. Do not cry, because I was smiling. Paul Walker

What’s behind you doesn’t matter. Enzo Ferrari

hilarious car quotes

A muscle is like a car. If you want it to run well early in the morning, you have to warm it up. Florence Griffith Joyner

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Steven Wright

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. Jeremy Clarkson

The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key. Edward Abbey

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. H.G. Wells

There’s a lot of stress, but once you get in the car, all that goes out the window. Dan Brown

he way I drive, the way I handle a car, is an expression of my inner feelings. Lewis Hamilton

A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system. Jean Cocteau

Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars. Tom Arnold

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. Murray Walker

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip

Take care of your car in the garage, and the car will take care of you on the road. Amit Kalantri

Someday we’ll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. Evan Davis

It’s a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won’t go. Bertrand Russell 

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery – it recharges by running. Bill Watterson

funniest car quotes

Top Funny Car Quotes

Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror. Colin Powell

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. Budd Schulberg

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down. Mario Andretti

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.  Earl Wilson

Stealing a man’s wife, that’s nothing, but stealing his car, that’s larceny. James M. Cain

To get to know a country, you must have direct contact with the earth. It’s futile to gaze at the world through a car window. Albert Einstein

Not having to own a car has made me realize what a waste of time the automobile is. Diane Johnson

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down. Alan Jones

If the car feels like it is on rails, you are probably driving too slow. Ross Bentley

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform. Ray Romano

I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car’s headlights and tell you exactly which way it’s coming. Mitch Hedberg

When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible – cowards and fools. Russell Baker

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. Steven Wright

If you’re in control, you’re not going fast enough. Parnelli Jones

A dream without ambition is like a car without gas—you’re not going anywhere. Sean Hampton

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck

Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car. Unknown

When you are fitted in a racing car and you race to win, second or third place is not enough. Ayrton Senna

More books, more racing and more foolishness with cars and motorcycles are in the works. Brock Yates

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. Tim Allen

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. E. B. White

Faster, Faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death. Hunter Thompson

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. Tim Allen

Why worry about death, it’ll come sooner or later. Jim Dunn

People don’t take trips…Trips take people. John Steinbeck

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