61+ Best Funny Car Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Instantly

A car is a wheeled motor vehicle used for transportation. Inspirational funny car quotes will make you look at life differently and help you live a meaningful life.

If you’re searching for really funny quotes and funniest inspirational quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny cat quotes, hilarious celebrity quotes and funniest coffee quotes.

Famous Funny Car Quotes

Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus. Françoise Sagan

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone. Reba McEntire

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip

What’s behind you doesn’t matter. Enzo Ferrari

Relationships, like cars, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy. Zygmunt Bauman

Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different. C. S. Lewis

Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror. Colin Powell

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Earl Wilson

The car has become an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete in the urban compound. Marshall McLuhan

Race cars are neither beautiful nor ugly. They become beautiful when they win. Enzo Ferrari

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. Doug Larson

Speed has never killed anyone. Suddenly becoming stationary, that’s what gets you. Jeremy Clarkson

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down. Mario Andretti

I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man. Marshall McLuhan

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car Carrie Snow

More books, more racing and more foolishness with cars and motorcycles are in the works. Brock Yates

If you can leave two black stripes from the exit of one corner to the braking zone of the next, you have enough horsepower. Mark Donohue

Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck

The only way it can be done successfully, only one person can know about it.  Smokey Yunick

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy

If you’re in control, you’re not going fast enough. Parnelli Jones

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. Tim Allen

You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear Oscar Wilde

We’re in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone’s arguing over where they’re going to sit. David Suzuki

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. Henry Ford

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Earl Wilson

The older I get, the faster I was. Charles Barkley

A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system. Jean Cocteau

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: We are the proud parents of a child who’s self esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear view mirror with a cop in it. Dudley Moore

Once you’ve raced, you never forget it and you never get over it. Richard Childress

Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers. Colin Mcrae

Turbochargers are for people who cant build engines. Keith Duckworth

In the old days drivers were fat and tires were skinny. Jose Froilan Gonzalez

Nassar leveled a heavy gaze at him. Lillian said you tried to be funny in the car. I told her it couldn’t possibly be true. The moment you try to make a joke, the sky shall split and the Four Horsemen will ride out, heralding Apocalypse.  Ilona Andrews

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? Steven Wright

It’s basically the same, just darker. Alan Kulwicki

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. Ben Berger

To a dog, motoring isn’t just a way of getting from here to there, it’s also a thrill and an adventure. The mere jingle of car keys is enough to send most any dog into a whimpering, tail wagging frenzy. Jon Winokur

Bicycling is a big part of the future. It has to be. There’s something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym. Bill Nye

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist? Steven Wright

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car. Craig Benzine

I’d pretend I was looking at the flowers! Joan Benoit

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. E. B. White

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven’t been in a car since 1965

With each replacement of parts, a car slowly becomes Chinese. Mr. Kuniyasu

Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus. Francoise Sagan

Take care of your car in the garage, and the car will take care of you on the road. Amit Kalantri

There is a certain comedy and pathos to trouble and accidents. Like, when a driver has parked his car crookedly and then wonders why he has the bad luck of being hit. John Prine

Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars. Tom Arnold

Each driver has its limit. My limit is a little bit further than others. Ayrton Senna

Shoes make an outfit, they work like rims for a car.

Only bad golfers are lucky. They’re the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky. Lee Trevino

Importantly, never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth

And objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are. Jim Steinman

Someday we’ll look back on this moment and plough into a parked car

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I’m leaving. Steven Wright

To me, the time in the car is very precious, and I want to fully enjoy it with quotes.