125+ Best Funny Car Quotes That Will Make You Laugh Instantly

A car is a wheeled motor vehicle used for transportation. Inspirational funny car quotes will make you look at life differently and help you live a meaningful life.

If you’re searching for really funny quotes and funniest inspirational quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny cat quotes, hilarious celebrity quotes and funniest coffee quotes.

Famous Funny Car Quotes

The cars we drive say a lot about us. – Alexandra Paul

Never have more children than you have car windows. – Erma Bombeck

Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus. – Francoise Sagan

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. – Prince Philip

Cars bring me sheer joy. – Evan Spiegel

Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror. – Colin Powell

funny car quotes

Some men take good care of a car; others treat it like one of the family. – Evan Esar

Relationships, like cars, should undergo regular services to make sure they are still roadworthy. – Zygmunt Bauman

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.’ – Rita Rudner

Price is what you pay. Value is what you get. – Unknown

Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers. – Colin McRae

There are three things men always talk about – women, sports, and cars. – Mario Lopez

Older cars tend to drive like older cars. That is not for me. – Robert Herjavec

The car has become an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete in the urban compound. – Marshall McLuhan

extremely funny car quotes

It’s not just a car. It’s someone else’s dream. – Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. – Erma Bombeck

A car for every purse and purpose. – Alfred P. Sloan

Watch out for the idiot behind me. – Unknown

People go to car races to watch the crashes. – Unknown

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. – Albert Einstein

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. – Doug Larson

Racing is the best way to convert money into noise. – Unknown

What’s behind you doesn’t matter. – Enzo Ferrari

You can’t treat a car like a patient. A car needs love. – Unknown

It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down. – Mario Andretti

The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man. – Marshall McLuhan

A racing car is an animal with a thousand adjustments. – Mario Andretti

If one day the speed kills me. Do not cry, because I was smiling. – Unknown

It’s more fun to drive a slow car fast, then to drive a fast car slow. – Unknown

Nothing is awesome then a classic car. – Unknown

More books, more racing and more foolishness with cars and motorcycles are in the works. – Brock Yates

You can’t fix stupid. – Unknown

We aren’t addicted to oil, but our cars are. – James Woolsey

You can’t find the right roads when the streets are paved. – Unknown

Don’t run away from challenges, run over them. – Unknown

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. – E B White

Life is too short for traffic. – Dan Bellack

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. – Jeff Foxworthy

We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. – Jeremy Clarkson

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. – Tim Allen

I am emotional about engines, if you hurt my car, you hurt my heart. – Amit Kalantri

A new car is not going to change your life. – Monica Ali

Fast cars are my only vice. – Michael Bay

Cars’ is simply near and dear to my heart. – John Lasseter

We’re in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone’s arguing over where they’re going to sit. – David Suzuki

hilarious car quotes

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. – Earl Wilson

A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system. – Jean Cocteau

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do. – Jason Love

Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car. – Unknown

I love sleeping in a moving car more than sleeping in bed. – Ben Stein

Don’t touch me! I am not that mind of car. – Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. – Dudley Moore

In the old days drivers were fat and tires were skinny. – Jose Froilan Gonzalez

My car runs on gas not friendship. So pay up. – Unknown

With each replacement of parts, a car slowly becomes Chinese. – Mr. Kuniyasu

If the car feels like it is on rails, you are probably driving too slow. – Ross Bentley

If you’re in control, you’re not going fast enough. – Parnelli Jones

Why worry about death, it’ll come sooner or later. – Jim Dunn

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon. – Tim Allen

If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work? – Steven Wright

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. – Ben Berger

People think getting a new partner is like getting a new car. – Orlando Bloom

Leave sooner, drive slower, and live longer. – Unknown

I thought cars were essential ingredients of life itself. – Edward Herrmann

To finish first, you must first finish. – Juan Manuel Fangio

It’s a long road but it’s a worth it. – Unknown

Bicycling is a big part of the future. It has to be. There’s something wrong with a society that drives a car to work out in a gym. – Bill Nye

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car. – Craig Benzine

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. – E. B. White

People don’t take trips…Trips take people. – Unknown

If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane. – Unknown

A man used to riding in a car cannot understand a pedestrian. – Unknown

Every parent knows that for a kid, the car is chloroform. – Ray Romano

All of those cars were once just a dream in somebody’s head. – Peter Gabriel

Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost. – Erol Ozan

We’re going to test with the same car, but we have a new car ready. – Larry Dixon

funniest car quotes

Take care of your car in the garage, and the car will take care of you on the road. – Amit Kalantri

Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars. – Tom Arnold

Guns are like cars: you can trust a good used one better than one that’s brand new. – Haruki Murakami

When you are fitted in a racing car and you race to win, second or third place is not enough. – Ayrton Senna

Race cars are neither beautiful nor ugly. They become beautiful when they win. – Enzo Ferrari

The way I drive, the way I handle a car, is an expression of my inner feelings. – Lewis Hamilton

I couldn’t find the sports car of my dreams, so I built it myself. – Ferdinand Porsche

I am an artist my,The track is my canvas, and my car is my brush. – Graham Hill

Wealthy people one of life’s greatest thrill…making the last car payment. – Unknown

To get to know a country, you must have direct contact with the earth. It’s futile to gaze at the world through a car window. – Albert Einstein

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. – Carrie Snow

Maybe the bike is more dangerous, but the passion for the car for me is second to the bike. – Valentino Rossi

Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways. – Will Rogers

Experience: the vehicle of history. Teenagers: the driving force behind fatal accidents. – Bauvard

The crashes people remember, but drivers remember the near misses. – Mario Andretti

I admit to wasting my life messing around with fast cars and motorcycles. – Brock Yates

A muscle is like a car. If you want it to run well early in the morning, you have to warm it up. – Florence Griffith Joyner

Not having to own a car has made me realize what a waste of time the automobile is. – Diane Johnson

Someday we’ll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car. – Evan Davis

Don’t get your fuel from the same place your car does – Michael Pollan

It’s a never ending battle of making your cars better and also trying to be better yourself. – Dale Earnhardt

Maybe the bike is more dangerous, but the passion for the car for me is second to the bike. – Valentino Rossi

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? – George Carlin

Flying cars are not a very efficient way to move things from one point to another. – Bill Gates

Automobiles are unreliable and dangerous slaves. They frequently revolt and kill their masters. I hate them. – Michael D. O’Brien

I race to win. If I am on the bike or in a car it will always be the same. – Valentino Rossi

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot. – Larry Lujack

Good cars get you from point A to point B. Great cars…Well they just get you in to trouble. – Unknown

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. – Steven Wright

If there isn’t a parking space out front or I can’t see my car from the window, we’re eating somewhere else. – Unknown

A car is like a mother-in-law – if you let it, it will rule your life. – Jaime Lerner

You can’t buy happiness but you can buy cars and that’s kind of the same thing. – Unknown

In life, you need a house and a car. After that, you have a choice. – Unknown

Racing costs today exactly the same as it did twenty years ago.. it takes every penny you have. – Unknown

You can know or not know how a car runs and still enjoy riding in a car. – David Byrne

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. – Erma Bombeck

Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. – H.G. Wells

The automobile engine will come, and then I will consider my life’s work complete. – Rudolf Diesel

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. – Murray Walker

The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key. – Edward Abbey

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck

Once you’ve raced, you never forget it. And you never get over it. – Richard Childress

If you don’t look back at your car after you park it, you own the wrong car. – Unknown

A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners. – Unknown

A muscle is like a car. If you want it to run well early in the morning, you have to warm it up. – Florence Griffith Joyner

Always Remember, your car will never wake up and tell you it does not love you anymore. – Unknown

Give a man a car; he’ll be happy for a day. Give a man a woman; he’ll be happy for a night. Give man a woman who loves cars; happy for life. – Unknown

When you fix something with your hands it gives you a sense of accomplishment and a sense of self worth. – Unknown

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. – Mac McCleary

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