80+ Best Funny Cat Quotes: Exclusive Selection

The cat is a domestic species of small carnivorous mammal. Inspirational funny cat quotes will encourage growth in life, make you wiser and broaden your perspective.

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Famous Funny Cat Quotes

I have lived with several Zen Masters – all of them cats. Eckhart Tolle

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later. Mary Bly

Way down deep, we’re all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. Jim Davis

Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it. Mason Cooley

The only thing a cat worries about is what’s happening right now. Lloyd Alexander

When my cats aren’t happy, I’m not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they’re just sitting there thinking up ways to get even. Percy Bysshe Shelley

No home is complete without the pitter patter of kitty feet. Unknown

I gave my cats a bath the other day … they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that… Steve Martin

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. Ellen Perry Berkeley

What greater gift than the love of a cat. Charles Dickens

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days. Bill Dana

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. Terry Pratchett

Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off. Michael Nelson

A lie is like a cat: you need to stop it before it gets out the door or it’s really hard to catch. Charles M. Blow

If cats could talk, they wouldn’t. Nan Porter

funny cat quotes

I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love. James Herriot

A cat will be your friend, but never your slave. Theophile Gautier

Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. W.L. George

Dogs have owners, cats have staff. Unknown

In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats. Unknown

Cats are a mysterious kind of folk. Sir Walter Scott

A cat is an example of sophistication minus civilization. Anonymous

When Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time. Seanan McGuire

Just watching my cats can make me happy. Paula Cole

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort. James Herriot

The smallest feline is a masterpiece. Leonardo da Vinci

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. Leo Dworken

Top Funny Cat Quotes

Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain

All you need is love and a cat Unknown

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience. Pam Brown

You can not look at a sleeping cat and feel tense. Jane Pauley

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul. Jean Cocteau

Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it. Amy Sedaris

There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. Dan Greenberg

funniest cat quotes

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. Mark Twain

The ideal of calm exists in a sitting cat. Jules Renard

To err is human, to purr is feline. Robert Byrne

One cat just leads to another. Ernest Hemingway

She clawed her way into my heart and wouldn’t let go. Missy Altijd

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark Twain

Curiosity killed the cat. Ben Johnson

A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. Ernest Hemingway

The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal – or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be. Elizabeth Peters

I’m not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they’re really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time. Michael Showalter

Time spent with cats is never wasted. Sigmund Freud

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. Joseph Wood Krutch

I used to love dogs until I discovered cats. Nafisa Joseph

Cats have it all: admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it. Rod McKuen

Cats choose us; we don’t own them. Kristin Cast

No one can truly understand the bond we form with the cats we love until they experience the loss of one. Unknown

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. Paula Poundstone

hilarious cat quotes

It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more. Agnes Repplier

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul. Jean Cocteau

Cats will outsmart dogs every time. John Grogan

Amazing Funny Cat Quotes

The memories and paw print of a beloved cat remains in our heart and soul forever. Unknown

When the cat you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure. Unknown

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. Robert A. Heinlein

Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms. Lloyd Alexander

There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat. Tay Hohoff

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God. Christopher Hitchens

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. Hippolyte Taine

Kittens are angels with whiskers. Alexis Flora Hope

A cat can purr its way out of anything. Donna McCrohan

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the humankind. Cleveland Amory

If cats could write history, their history would be mostly about cats. Eugen Weber

The trouble with sharing one’s bed with cats is that they’d rather sleep on you than beside you. Pam Brown

Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you’re hungry, eat. When you’re tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet’s, pee on your owner. Gary Smith

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. Jules Verne

It is impossible to keep a straight face in the presence of one or more kittens. Cynthia E. Varnado

‘Meow’ means ‘woof’ in cat. George Carlin

Are cats strange animals or do they so resemble us that we find them curious as we do monkeys? John Steinbeck

Heaven will never be Paradise unless my cats are there waiting for me. Unknown

Cats leave paw prints in your heart, forever and always. Unknown

A kitten is, in the animal world, what a rosebud is in the garden. Robert Sowthey

A kitten is in the animal world what a rosebud is in the garden. Robert Southey

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. Albert Schweitzer

The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron. George Will

A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats. Mason Cooley

People who don’t like cats were probably mice in an earlier life. Unknown

Like all pure creatures, cats are practical. William S. Burroughs

If there is a heaven, it’s certain our animals are to be there. Their lives become so interwoven with our own, it would take more than an archangel to detangle them. Pam Brown

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