The cat is a domestic species of small carnivorous mammal. Inspirational funny cat quotes will encourage growth in life, make you wiser and broaden your perspective.
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Famous Funny Cat Quotes
When a cat speaks, it’s because it has something to say, unlike humans who are the great refuse containers of speech. – V.L. Allineare
A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot’s ribs and demanded: Take me to the canaries. – Bob Monkhouse
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. – Terry Pratchett
I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days. – Bill Dana
C always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice? – Bette Midler
The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. – Paula Poundstone
Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later. – Mary Bly
All cats love fish but fear to wet their paws. – Chinese Proverb
Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it. – Mason Cooley
As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the humankind. – Cleveland Amory
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. – Hippolyte Taine
The trouble with sharing one’s bed with cats is that they’d rather sleep on you than beside you. – Pam Brown
Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place – Paul Gray
Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won’t attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling. – Helen Powers
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. – Albert Schweitzer
Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God. – Christopher Hitchens
The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don’t buy love for nothing. Like all pure creatures, cats are practical. – William S. Burroughs
No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. – Leo Dworken
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. – Alfred North Whitehead
The cat seldom interferes with other people’s rights. His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the fool things that complicate life. – Carl V. Vechten
Cats’ hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other. – Stephen Baker
Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses. – John Weitz
Any cat who misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead leaf. – Charlotte Gray
A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats. – Mason Cooley
It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more. – Agnes Repplier
A cat’s got her own opinion of human beings. She don’t say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it. – Jerome K. Jerome
Cats never strike a pose that isn’t photogenic. – Lillian Jackson Braun
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. – Abraham Lincoln
After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference. – Charlotte Gray
The cat is, above all things, a dramatist. – Margaret Benson
The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal…it’s also the reason they hate birds. – KC Buffington
If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. – Mark Twain
Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw. – Terry Pratchett
How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. – Robert A. Heinlein
I used to love dogs until I discovered cats. – Nafisa Joseph
There is something about the presence of a cat… that seems to take the bite out of being alone. – Louis J. Camuti
Cats only pretend to be domesticated if they think there’s a bowl of milk in it for them. – Robin Williams
An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old. – Carl Van Vechten
A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to. – Louis J. Camuti
If cats could talk, they wouldn’t. – Nan Porter
Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. – W.L. George
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience. – Pam Brown
A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings. – William Ralph Inge
I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. – Jules Verne
A cat isn’t fussy – just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor. – Arthur Bridges
