75+ Best Funny Cat Quotes: Exclusive Selection

The cat is a domestic species of small carnivorous mammal. Inspirational funny cat quotes will encourage growth in life, make you wiser and broaden your perspective.

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Famous Funny Cat Quotes

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. Terry Pratchett

It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens that whatever you say to them, they always purr. Lewis Carroll

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days. Bill Dana

You can not look at a sleeping cat and feel tense. Jane Pauley

Cats are inquisitive, but hate to admit it. Mason Cooley

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort. James Herriot

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the humankind. Cleveland Amory

Cats are a mysterious kind of folk. Sir Walter Scott

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. Hippolyte Taine

Everybody wants to be a cat. The Aristocats

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life music and cats. Albert Schweitzer

Are you blind when you’re born? Can you see in the dark? Can you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne? Cats

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God. Christopher Hitchens

Curiosity killed the cat. Ben Johnson

A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats. Mason Cooley

If man could be crossed with a cat, it would improve the man but deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain

It is impossible for a lover of cats to banish these alert, gentle, and discriminating friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more. Agnes Repplier

A dog will flatter you, but you have to flatter the cat. George Mikes

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. Robert A. Heinlein

I have lived with several Zen masters all of them cats. Eckhart Tolle

I used to love dogs until I discovered cats. Nafisa Joseph

Cats will outsmart dogs every time. John Grogan

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort. James Herriot

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. Hippolyte Taine

Just watching my cats can make me happy. Paula Cole

In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. Terry Pratchett

I’m not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they’re really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time. Michael Showalter

Cats have it all admiration, an endless sleep and company only when they want it. Rod McKuen

You can not look at a sleeping cat and feel tense. Jane Pauley

What greater gift than the love of a cat? Charles Dickens

The phrase domestic cat is an oxymoron. George Will

Time spent with cats is never wasted. Sigmund Freud

One cat just leads to another. Ernest Hemingway

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. Robert A. Heinlein

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul. Jean Cocteau

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life music and cats. Albert Schweitzer

I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love. James Herriot

A cat has absolute emotional honesty. Human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. Ernest Hemingway

I love my cats more than I love most people. Probably more than is healthy. Amy Lee

When a cat adopts you, there is nothing to be done about it except to put up with it until the wind changes. T.S. Eliott

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. Abraham Lincoln

A cat purring on your lap is more healing than any drug in the world, as the vibrations you are receiving are of pure love and contentment. St. Francis of Assisi

The smallest feline is a masterpiece. Leonardo da Vinci

I used to love dogs until I discovered cats. Nafisa Joseph

Kittens are angels with whiskers. Alexis Flora Hope

Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause the most inconvenience. Pam Brown

A kitten is in the animal world what a rosebud is in the garden. Robert Southey

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods. Christopher Hitchens

A kitten is the delight of a household. All day long a comedy is played out by an incomparable actor. Champfleury

A cat will do what it wants when it wants, and there’s not a thing you can do about it. Frank Perkins

Perhaps one reason we are fascinated by cats is because such a small animal can contain so much independence, dignity, and freedom of spirit. Unlike the dog, the cat’s personality is never bet on a human’s. He demands acceptance on his own terms. Lloyd Alexander

Cats are a mysterious kind of folk. Sir Walter Scott

Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. W. L. George

In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. Terry Pratchett

Cats have it all admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it. Rod McKuen

Cats do not have to be shown how to have a good time, for they are unfailingly ingenious in that respect. James Mason

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. Joseph Wood Krutch

Dogs eat. Cats dine. Ann Taylor

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. Jules Verne

Those who’ll play with cats must expect to be scratched. Miguel de Cervantes

Way down deep, we’re all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. Jim Davis

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax murderer. Paula Poundstone

A cat has absolute emotional honesty human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. Ernest Hemingway

Cats never listen. They’re dependable that way; when Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time. Seanan McGuire

Time spent with cats is never wasted. Sigmund Freud

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance a sharp, vindictive glance. James Thurber

Cats rule the world. Jim Davis

If a dog jumps into your lap it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing it is because your lap is warmer. A.N. Whitehead

Like all pure creatures, cats are practical. William S. Burroughs

The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be. Elizabeth Peters

Cats will outsmart dogs every time. John Grogan

I read that when cats are cuddling and kneading you, and you think it’s cute, they’re really just checking your vitals for weak spots. Kandyse McClure

Cats choose us; we don’t own them. Kristin Cast