Christmas is the period just before and after 25 December, a Christian holy day that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. Inspirational funny christmas quotes will brighten up your day and make you feel ready to take on anything.
If you’re searching for really funny quotes and greatest funny work quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of popular sarcastic quotes, top funny movie quotes and best funny motivational quotes.
Famous Funny Christmas Quotes
I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, So does the guy I stole it from. David Letterman
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. Victor Borge
Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip. Gary Allan
Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp. Melanie White
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. Maya Angelou
For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is and people will usually just give it back anyway! Anne Bristow
The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. Johnny Carson
We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup. Buddy, Elf
Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state. Samantha Bee
Christmas: the only time of year you can sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.
It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales Milton Berle
The way you spend Christmas is far more important than how much
Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family Charles M. Schulz
Remember, if Christmas isn’t found in your heart, you won’t find it under a tree.
We celebrate the birth of one who told us to give everything to the poor by giving each other motorized tie racks. Bill McKibben
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
It’s easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket. Craig Ferguson
This is the Christma spirit, as in spirits, booze
I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange. Henny Youngman
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas Day. Don’t clean it up too quickly
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive. Stephen Fry
Christmas Eve was a night of song that wrapped itself about you like a shawl
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. Victor Borge
To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold
The main reason Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin
Just because I cannot see it doesn’t mean I can’t believe it
I don’t know what to say, but it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery. National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
We are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmastime
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. Andy Borowitz
The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear
I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. Winston Spear
Like snowflakes, my Christmas memories gather and dance each beautiful, unique, and gone too soon
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus. Bob Phillips
Fine old Christmas, with the snowy hair and ruddy face, had done his duty that year in the noblest fashion, and had set off his rich gifts of warmth and color with all the heightening contrast of frost and snow
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. Shirley Temple
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
It’s Christmas Eve! It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be. Bill Murray
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To your opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. Johnny Carson
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa?
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day Phyllis Diller
As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December’s bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same
Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. Bart Simpson
Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard
