72+ Best Funny College Quotes: Exclusive Selection

A college is an educational institution or a constituent part of one. Profoundly inspirational funny college quotes will get you through anything when the going gets tough and help you succeed in every aspect of life.

If you’re searching for hilarious quotes and funniest motivational quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny dating quotes, hilarious husband quotes and funniest music quotes.

Famous Funny College Quotes

So if a college education is indispensable, the challenge as I see it is how to make it more accessible. Gordon Gee

At Georgia Southern, we don’t cheat. That costs money, and we don’t have any. Erik Russell

I think a college education is important no matter what you do in life. Phil Mickelson

Motivation is simple, you eliminate those who aren’t motivated. Sweet Lou Holtz

A college education shows a man how little other people know. Thomas Chandler Haliburton

They whipped us like a tied up goat. Spike Dykes

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn’t. L. L. Henderson

We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking. John McKay

I think, especially when you’re in college, each book that you’re reading tends to tell you who you are. Jeffrey Eugenides

I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades. Duffy Daugherty

College isn’t the place to go for ideas. Helen Keller

If lessons were learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education. Murray Warmath

One of the great mind destroyers of a college education is the belief that if it’s very complex, it’s very profound. Dennis Prager

After you retire, there’s only one big event left and I ain’t ready for that. Bobby Bowden

College ain’t so much where you been as how you talk when you get back. Ossie Davis

Football is not a contact sport. It is a collision sport. Dancing is a good example of a contact sport. Duffy Daugherty

Home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names, and impossible loyalties! Matthew Arnold

I’m really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who have been around here six or seven years, especially our seniors. Bob Hoying

Colleges are like old age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges. Bob Dylan

To hell with Notre Dame! Bo Schembechler

So if a college education is indispensable, the challenge as I see it is how to make it more accessible. Gordon Gee

Gentlemen, it is better to die a small boy than to fumble this football. John Heisman

I think a college education is important no matter what you do in life. Phil Mickelson

A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval study hall. Frank Leahy

A college education shows a man how little other people know. Thomas Chandler Haliburton

I’ve found prayers work best when you have big players. Knute Rockne

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn’t. L. L. Henderson

Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the United States. Lee Corso

I think, especially when you’re in college, each book that you’re reading tends to tell you who you are. Jeffrey Eugenides

He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings. Torrin Polk

College isn’t the place to go for ideas. Helen Keller

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. G. B. Trudeau

One of the great mind destroyers of a college education is the belief that if it’s very complex, it’s very profound. Dennis Prager

Let me say no danger and no hardship ever makes me wish to get back to that college life again. Joshua Chamberlain

College ain’t so much where you been as how you talk when you get back. Ossie Davis

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income which he then spends sending his son to college. Bill Vaughn

Home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names, and impossible loyalties! Matthew Arnold

Colleges don’t make fools they only develop them. George Horace Lorimer

They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies. Orson Welles

You are the nerds who are going to make some serious bank, which is why I am here today to marry the best looking amongst you. Minday Kaling

I was a modest, good humored boy. It is Oxford that has made me insufferable. Max Beerbohm

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology. Clive James

College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night? David Wood

They teach anything in universities today. You can major in mud pies. Orson Welles

College is the reward for surviving high school. Most people have great fun stories from college and nightmare stories from high school. Judd Apatow

The chief value in going to college is that it’s the only way to learn it really doesn’t matter. George Edwin Howes

I’ve yet to be on a campus where most women weren’t worrying about some aspect of combining marriage, children, and a career. I’ve yet to find one where many men were worrying about the same thing. Gloria Steinem

Does college pay? They do if you are a good open field runner. Will Rogers

In university, they don’t tell you that the greater part of the law is learning to tolerate fools. Doris Lessing

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Colleges are places where pebbles are polished and diamonds are dimmed. R.S. Ingersoll

This is college. Let me think for a minute. Rodney Dangerfield

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college. Kurt Vonnegut

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income  which he then spends sending his son to college. Bill Vaughn

What school, college, or lecture bring men depends on what men bring to carry it home in. Ralph Waldo Emerson

A senior always feels like the university is going to the kids. Tom Masson

Our colleges ought to have lit up in us a lasting relish for the better kind of man, a loss of appetite for mediocrities. William James

Definition of a college professor someone who talks in other people’s sleep. W.H. Auden

Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today. Malcolm X

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. G.B. Trudeau

I am always doing what I cannot do yet in order to learn how to do it. Vincent Van Gogh

College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night? David Wood

If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Dr. Wayne Dyer

Then you play the game show, Do My Friends Hate Me Or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep? John Mulaney

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying I will try again tomorrow. Mary Anne Radmacher

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. Fred Allen

The aim of the college, for the individual student, is to eliminate the need in his life for the college; the task is to help him become a self educating man. C. Wright Mills

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn’t answer the phone. Craig Kilborn

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