60+ Best Funny Dog Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Your pup instantly improves your mood and can help you to maintain a more positive, optimistic perspective on life. Inspirational funniest dog quotes will fire up your brain and encourage you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for hilarious quotes and best sarcastic quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny divorce quotes, hilarious dance quotes and funniest horse quotes.

Famous Funny Dog Quotes

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does. Christopher Morley

Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Unknown

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth! Anne Tyler

If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? Unknown

My cats inspire me daily. They inspire me to get a dog! Greg Curtis

funny dog quotes

I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother. Bonnie Schacter

I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, ‘Eww, dog poop! Jonah Goldberg

What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around – that’s their job! George Carlin

A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well – almost. Charlotte Gray

If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over. Unknown

A boy can learn a lot from a dog — obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. Robert Benchley

extremely funny dog quotes

Cute Funny Dog Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. Groucho Marx

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. Marilyn Monroe

In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him. Derek Bruce

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. Fran Lebowitz

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. Ann Landers

If our dog doesn’t like you, we probably won’t either. Unknown

Choosing a dog may be the only chance you get to pick a relative. Unknown

Leave me alone – I’m only speaking to dogs today. Unknown

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’ Dave Barry

hilarious dog quotes

A dog can express more with his tail in minutes than his owner can express with his tongue in hours. Unknown

Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mailman is not to be trusted Sian Ford

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. Aldous Huxley

Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant. Unknown

The more people I meet, the more I love my dog. Unknown

When I die my dog gets everything. Unknown

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. Sue Murphy

A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it. Helen Thomson

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Unknown

Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: The mail man is not to be trusted Sian Ford

Less people, more dogs. Unknown

funniest dog quotes

Amazing Funny Dog Quotes

Dogs are my favorite people. Unknown

The only person who understands me is my dog. Unknown

I don’t who care who dies in the movie, as long as the dog lives. Unknown

I am one dog short of crazy. Unknown

Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all. John Grogan

I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts. John Steinbeck

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money. Joe Weinstein

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. Unknown

No home decor is complete without dog hair. Unknown

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. Jay London

Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers. Jodi Picoult

The best therapist has fur and four legs. Unknown

Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies. Unknown

Without my dog my wallet would be full my house would be clean but my heart would be empty. Unknown

Nothing in the world is friendlier than a wet dog. Unknown

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog. Harry Truman

If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog. Unknown

Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take…I’ll be watching you. Unknown

This home is filled with love and dog hair. Unknown

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass. Rodney Dangerfield

Beware! Dog can’t hold its licker. Unknown

Dogs are like potato chips. You can’t have just one. Unknown

Life without a dog is like an unsharpened pencil. It has no point. Unknown

“What I like most about people is their dogs. Unknown

When an 85 pound mammal licks your tears away, and then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad. Kristan Higgins