32+ Best Funny Dog Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Your pup instantly improves your mood and can help you to maintain a more positive, optimistic perspective on life. Inspirational funniest dog quotes will fire up your brain and encourage you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for hilarious quotes and best sarcastic quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny divorce quotes, hilarious dance quotes and funniest horse quotes.

Famous Funny Dog Quotes

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant John Peer

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window Steve Bluestone

The average dog is nicer than the average person Andy Rooney

What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around  that’s their job George Carlin

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs Charles De Gaulle

In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi human The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog Edward Hoagland

Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend Corey Ford

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth! Anne Tyler

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too Samuel Butler

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does Christopher Morley

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog Franklin P. Jones

I once decided not to date a guy because he wasn’t excited to meet my dog. I mean, this was like not wanting to meet my mother Bonnie Schacter

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog Ambrose Bierce

I don’t think twice about picking up my dog’s poop, but if another dog’s poop is next to it, I think, Eww, dog poop Jonah Goldberg

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!Dave Barry

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read Groucho Marx

It’s just the most amazing thing to love a dog, isn’t it? It makes our relationships with people seem as boring as a bowl of oatmeal John Grogan

A dog desires affection more than its dinner Well  almost Charlotte Gray

My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty Elayne Boosler

A well trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it Helen Thomson

Some of our greatest historical and artistic treasures we place with curators in museums; others we take for walks Roger Caras

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face Bernard Williams

A dog is one of the remaining reasons why some people can be persuaded to go for a walk Orlando Aloysius Battista

Dogs are great. Bad dogs, if you can really call them that, are perhaps the greatest of them all John Grogan

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen Orhan Pamuk

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs Aldous Huxley

Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails Max Eastman

In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him Derek Bruce

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read Groucho Marx

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful Ann Landers