Heavy drinkers are more impulsive than light drinkers and, consequently, use more alcohol. Inspirational funny drinking quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.
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Famous Funny Drinking Quotes
Trust me You can dance Alcohol
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria Benjamin Franklin
Responsible Drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron Aaron Howard
Shaken, not stirred James Bond
If life gives you lemons, Add VODKA
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar Drew Carey
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Stephen Wright
Without question the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza Dave Barry
I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL
Three be the things I shall never attain Envy, content, and sufficient Champagne Dorothy Parker
A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk Charlie Chaplin
Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life F. Scott Fitzgerald
Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL
The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober William Butler Yeats
Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness Seneca
A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk Charlie Chaplin
Not to get technical, But according to chemistry ALCOHOL is a solution
Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right F. Scott Fitzgerald
I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served George Gobel
I only drink Champagne on two occasions, when I am in love and when I am not Coco Chanel
Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need Better to be safe than sober
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind Humphrey Bogart
People are not addicted to Alcohol or drugs, They are addicted to escaping reality
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day Frank Sinatra
Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable G.K. Chesterton
Of course, I just said I was a writer Stephen King
Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean: against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people
When we drink we get drunk When we get drunk we fall asleep When we fall asleep we commit no sin When we commit no sin we go to heaven Sooooo, let’s all get drunk and go to heaven! Brian O’Rourke
The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober William Butler Yeats
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy Frank Sinatra
Always do sober what you said you’d do when you were drunk That will teach you to keep your mouth shut Ernest Hemingway
Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life George Bernard Shaw
Everybody’s got to believe in something I believe I’ll have another beer
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink, I feel shame! Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this wine, they might be out of work, and their dreams would be shattered Then I say to myself, It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver Jack Handey
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy
Wasted away again in Margaritaville Jimmy Buffett
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you
Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn’t everyone Noel Coward
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk That will teach you to keep your mouth shut Ernest Hemingway
Either give me more wine or leave me alone Rumi
They say as soon as you have to cut down on your drinking, you have a drinking problem Don Draper, Mad Men
Of course size matters No one wants a small glass of wine
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading Henny Youngman
Nothing lasts forever so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on Dean Martin
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food W.C Fields
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer Abraham Lincoln
Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life F. Scott Fitzgerald
I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun Well, you don’t need running shoes to run but it helps
I drink wine because my doctor said I shouldn’t keep things bottled up
Beer doesn’t have many vitamins That’s why you need to drink lots of it
Men are like wine some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age Pope John XXIII
I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers
I drink alcohol to drown my problems, unfortunately my problems are damn good swimmers
Not to get technical but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy that all the books in the world Louis Pasteur
Save the earth, its the only planet with beer
This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought Samuel Johnson
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question
