53+ Best Funny Friendship Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Inspirational funny friendship quotes will brighten up your day and make you feel ready to take on anything.

Famous Funny Friendship Quotes

I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in both places. – Mark Twain

Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine. – Unknown

You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. – Laurence J. Peter

I’d walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. But a super humid room…but not too humid because. you know…my hair. – Unknown

Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried. – Charles Caleb Colton

Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed. – Laurie Colwin

Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry. – Unknown

Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend! – Bronwyn Polson

Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive. – Unknown

Bests Friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public. – Unknown

If you are lucky enough to find a weirdo never them go. – Unknown

One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements. – Marcelene Cox

No one will ever be as entertained by us as us. – Unknown

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. – Bernard Meltzer

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go. – Margaret Walker

If I send you my ugly selfies, our friendship is real. – Unknown

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money – Benjamin Franklin

Friendship is so weird…you just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like ‘Yep, I like this one’ and you just do stuff with them. – Unknown

You can’t make a circle of friends with a compass. – Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

We will always be friend ’til we’re old and senile…then we can be new friends. – Unknown

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s hard to find a friend who’s cute, loving, generous, , caring, and smart. My advice to y’all is, don’t lose me. – Unknown

A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body. – Jim Hayes

I was an innocent being once…then my best friend came along. – Unknown

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. – Linda Grayson

A good friend is a connection to life tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. – Lois Wyse

You don’t lose friends because real friends can never be lost. You lose people masquerading as friends and you’re better for it – Mandy Hale

We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up…after I finish laughing. – Unknown

When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, Damn, that was fun. – Groucho Marx

You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang. – Unknown

Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces. – Anne Lindbergh

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected – Charles Lamb

Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long. – Robert Staughton Lynd

Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone. – Unknown

The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist. – Aaron Machado

I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. You’re my friend, you literally signed up for this. – Unknown

When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier – Diane Von Furstenberg

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence. – Unknown

I have lost friends, some by death…others by sheer inability to cross the street – Virginia Woolf

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you. – Ann Richards

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. – Unknown

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. – Silican proverb

I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends. – Unknown

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Real friendship is when your friend comes over to your house and then you both just take a nap. – Unknown

I bet dying vultures have lots of awkward moments with their friends. – Guy Endore-Kaiser

Friendship is about finding people who are your kind of crazy. – Unknown

Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. – Greg Tamblyn

You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. I’ll train you. – Unknown

Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces. – Austin O’Malley

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum-security twilight home in Australia – Dame Edna Everage

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. – Elbert Hubbard

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