42+ Best Funny Graduation Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Graduation is the award of a diploma or academic degree, or the ceremony that is sometimes associated with it, in which students become graduates. Inspirational funny graduation quotes will brighten up your day and make you feel ready to take on anything.

If you’re searching for hilarious quotes and extremely funny inspirational quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny good morning quotes, hilarious yoga quotes and funniest witty quotes.

Famous Graduation Quotes

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car. But if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. – Theodore Roosevelt

I mean we all fly. Once you leave the ground, you fly. Some people fly longer than others. – Michael Jordan

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success. – Robert Orben

If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you. – Muhammad Ali

Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money. – Gary Bolding

Big pay and little responsibility are circumstances seldom found together. – Napoleon Hill

funny graduation quotes

The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don’t do it. I have been out there. It is a mess. – Russell Baker

My dear terrified graduates, you are about to enter the most uncertain and thrilling period of your lives. The stories you are about to live are the ones you will be telling your children, and grandchildren, and therapists. – Lin-Manuel Miranda

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. – Robert M. Hutchins

Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked fantastic … The problem was, so did her date. – Deion Sanders

Graduation: a ritual event where they award you a diploma, in the hope that you have learned enough to be able to read it. – unknown

Nothing is going to be handed to you. You have to make things happen. – Florence Griffith-Joyner

Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated. – Garry Trudeau

extremely funny graduation quotes

When they hand you your diploma, keep moving? Just in case they try to take it back. – unknown

It is not the size of the arena in which you find yourself that counts; it is what you do with it. – Dr. Irene C. Kassorla

If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you. – Robert Goheen

There is a good reason they call these ceremonies ‘commencement exercises’. Graduation is not the end; it’s the beginning. – Orrin Hatch

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed. – Erma Bombeck

If learning is like a sponge, don’t ever stop soaking it up. Never stop learning. Catherine Pulsifer

At graduation you get to wear a cap and gown, but it’s a good idea to also wear something underneath it. – Greg Tamblyn

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers

Moving Forward

hilarious graduation quotes

Every year, many, many stupid people graduate from college. And if they can do it, so can you. – John Green

Struggling to decide what to do after graduation is, and always will be, a sort of rite of passage to the next phase of your life. – Gloria Davidson

If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment. – Harry Banks

Don’t ever rob a bank. Enjoy life. Have fun. Choose to be happy now; don’t wait until you’re ‘successful,’ because honestly, I was as happy when we were unemployed and scrounging around for a buck. – Peter Farrelly

Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someonelse’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. – Ellen DeGeneres

Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open. – Thomas Dewar

The tassel’s worth the hassle! – unknown

So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up, you’re on the right track. – Ed Helms

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. You are the guy who’ll decide where to go. – Dr. Seuss

It doesn’t matter that your dream came true if you spent your whole life sleeping. – Jerry Zucker

funniest graduation quotes

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere. – Frank A. Clark

Remember, when it come to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover! – Patricia Akins

Remember, when it comes to applying for jobs, books ARE judged by their cover! – Patricia Akins

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito. – Bette Reese

Applying common sense helps us find simple and reasonable ways of doing things. Many refer to this as the KISS method, ‘Keep It Simple Simon. – Henry Adkins

All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder. – unknown

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that individuality is the key to success. – Robert Orben

Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. – Will Rogers

The man who graduates today and stops learning tomorrow is uneducated the day after. – Newton D. Baker

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen. – Sarah Brown

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