45+ Best Funny Kitchen Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Kitchen is a place (such as a room) with cooking facilities. Inspirational funny kitchen quotes will brighten up your day and make you feel ready to take on anything.

If you’re searching for really funny quotes and hilarious thanksgiving quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny marriage quotes, hilarious math quotes and funniest parenting quotes.

Famous Funny Kitchen Quotes

It does not matter how expensive your kitchen is if you are a bad cook. – Loesje

The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude. – Julia Child

My next house will have not kitchen just vending machines. – Anonymous

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. – W.C. Fields

Cooking is about passion, so it may look slightly temperamental in a way that it’s too assertive to the naked eye. – Gordon Ramsay

Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all. – Harriet Van Horne

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. – Julia Child

Thousands of people have eaten in my kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives. – Anonymous

Always start out with a larger pot than what you think you need. – Julia Child

funny kitchen quotes

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. – Nora Ephron

I don’t even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. – Katherine Cebrian

A kitchen knife cannot carve its own handle. – Korean Proverb

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. – Phyllis Diller

…no one is born a great cook, one learns by doing. – Julia Child

I hate when I go to the kitchen for food and all I find are ingredients. – Anonymous

Why yes, I’ve discovered the joy of cooking. It’s when my husband does it. – Anonymous

The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook. – Julia Child

extremely funny kitchen quotes

If you want breakfast in bed sleep in the kitchen! – Anonymous

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup. – Bertrand Russell

Before Julia Child there was only onion dip. – Susan Branch

I wish my stove came with a Save As button like Word has. That way I could experiment with my cooking and not fear ruining my dinner. – Jarod Kintz

The worst mistake of a woman is to go to the kitchen, because then she never gets out of there. – Shakira

I only have a kitchen because it came with the house. – Anonymous

A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen. – Kin Hubbard

Their kitchen is their shrine, the cook their priest, the table their altar, and their belly their god. – Charles Buck

hilarious kitchen quotes

One day..I’m gonna make the onions cry – Anonymous

Cooking requires confident guesswork and improvisation- experimentation and substitution, dealing with failure and uncertainty in a creative way. – Paul Theroux

Cooking without wine is like sex alone. You may get the job done, but you don’t really care once it’s over. – Andrew Grey

Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, What light? – and two more to say, I didn’t turn it on. – Erma Bombeck

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. – Calvin Trillin

Cooking requires confident guesswork and improvisation experimentation and substitution, dealing with failure and uncertainty in a creative way – Paul Theroux

God blesses this kitchen but He doesn’t clean it.! – Anonymous

I cook to inspire my husband to pay attention to me. – Sonia Rumzi

I have come to the conclusion that just as the Japanese live to work, Asians live to eat. – Anastacia Oaikhena

If you can organize your kitchen, you can organize your life. – Louis Parrish

If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. – Harry S Truman

I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I’ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. – Rodney Dangerfield

In the childhood memories of every good cook, there’s a large kitchen, a warm stove, a simmering pot and a mom. – Barbara Costikyan

When compelled to cook, I produce a meal that would make a sword swallower gag. – Russell Baker

funniest kitchen quotes

A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life. – Anonymous

Life itself is the proper binge. – Julia Child

My favorite hobby is cooking and eating. There is nothing i can do well if i have not eaten well. – Darnell Lamont Walker

Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I’ll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities. – Charles Bukowski

The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires. – Sex in the City

Why do brides wear white? Because it’s the most popular color for kitchen appliances. – Unknown

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