60+ Best Funny Romantic Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Romance is an emotional feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions. Inspirational funny romantic quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

If you’re searching for funniest quotes and funniest sarcastic quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny teacher quotes, hilarious summer quotes and funniest stress quotes.

Famous Funny Romantic Quotes

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. Les Dawson

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. Elizabeth Evans

I had a dream that i still loved you. I think I woke up screaming. Christine

True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills. Jessica Martin

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. Ray Romano

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Bill Maher

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else.   Jean Kerr

People should fall in love with their eyes closed. Andy Warhol

Love is sharing your popcorn. Charles Schultz

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen

If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. Katherine Mansfield

Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. Pauline Thomason

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers

Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. Natasha Leggero

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason

When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. Richard Lewis

If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. Chelsea Peretti

A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. Spanish Proverb

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx

funny romantic quotes

Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Helen Gurley Brown

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. Russell Brand

Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Judith Viorst

If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. Miles Davis

Amazing Funny Romantic Quotes

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. Agatha Christie

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. Jackie Mason

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Will Ferrell

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Erich Segal

I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. Chico Marx

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. David Sedaris

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. Kathy Mohnke

Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. Bettina Arndt

funniest romantic quotes

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck

Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. George Burns

I’m now making a Jewish porno film. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt. Henny Youngman

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. Leopold Fetchner

What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. Cindy Garner

My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. Elayne Boosler

Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. English Proverb

If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. Chelsea Peretti

Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. Fran Lebowitz

What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. Cindy Garner

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Franklin P. Jones

I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? Jean Illsley Clarke

He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. Ring Lardner

Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. J. P. Senn

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. Professor Irwin Corey

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. Phyllis Diller

Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. Phyllis Schlafly

You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate you make everything better.

A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. Thomas Dewar

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles M. Schulz

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. Fulton J. Sheen

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. Carroll Bryant

It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. Lucille Ball

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