31+ Best Funny Running Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Running is a method of terrestrial locomotion allowing humans and other animals to move rapidly on foot. Inspirational funny running quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for funniest quotes ever and funniest movie quotes one liners that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny quotes about school, hilarious graduation quotes and funniest good morning quotes.

Famous Funny Running Quotes

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I’m damned if I’m going to use up mine running up and down a street. – Neil Armstrong

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. – David Lee Roth

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. – Milton Berle

I’ve always felt that long, slow distance produces long, slow runners. – Sebastian Coe

funny running quotes

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. – Erma Bombeck

Run like you stole something. – Unknown

There is no such thing as bad weather, just soft people. – Bill Bowerman

I think people can handle 150 to 200 miles a week. But something has to give somewhere. If he’s a student, how’s he going to study? He may be at the age of chasing and courtship, and that’s an important form of sport and recreation, too. – Bill Bowerman

Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television. – Victoria Wood

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. – Jumbo Elliott

I’m going to go out a winner if I have to find a high school race to win my last race. – Johnny Gray

I love running cross country….On a track, I feel like a hamster. – Robin Williams

Life is short… running makes it seem longer. – Baron Hansen

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. – William James

I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly. – Bill Kirby

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back. – Franklin Jones

If I am still standing at the end of the race, hit me with a board and knock me down, because that means I didn’t run hard enough. – Steve Jones

Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, “Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?” – Peter Maher

If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken Him completely by surprize. – P. Z. Pearce

I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples. – Ryan Reynolds

We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. – Will Rogers

I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty. – Wendy Liebman

It’s unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him. – Mike Royko

I don’t think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups. – Rita Rudner

You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can’t know what’s coming. – Frank Shorter

Good things come slow – specially in distance running. – Bill Dellinger

If you start to feel good during an ultra, don’t worry, you will get over it. – Gene Thibeault

The faster you run, the faster you’re done. – Steve Tiefenthaler

It hurts real bad, yet they say that it’s good for you. – Tom Tiefenthaler

It hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse. – Ann Trason

Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. – Unknown

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