76+ Best Funny Running Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Running is a method of terrestrial locomotion allowing humans and other animals to move rapidly on foot. Inspirational funny running quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for funniest quotes ever and funniest movie quotes one liners that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny quotes about school, hilarious graduation quotes and funniest good morning quotes.

Famous Funny Running Quotes

No doubt a brain and some shoes are essential for marathon success. Although if it comes down to a choice, pick the shoes. More people finish marathons with no brains than with no shoes. Don Kardong

As a runner, you have to face the truth about yourself on a regular basis, and it makes you more honest. You can’t pretend to be faster than you are. You can’t pretend that you are better prepared than you are. You cannot pretend to be a runner; you actually have to run. John Bingham

Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet. It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed. Charles Schulz

I run because if I didn’t, I’d be sluggish and glum and spend too much time on the couch. I run to breathe the fresh air. I run to explore. I run to escape the ordinary. I run to savor the trip along the way. Life becomes a little more vibrant, a little more intense. I like that. Dean Karnazes

There are many challenges to long distance running, but one of the greatest is the question of where to put one’s house keys. Gabrielle Zevin

I’m often asked what I think about as I run. Usually, the people who ask this have never run long distances themselves. I always ponder the question. What exactly do I think about when I’m running? I don’t have a clue. Haruki Murakami

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. Martin Mull

In running, every step you make and every push forward changes you it transforms you into a different person. Every single run adds something to you and then it also takes something away. You are not the same person you were at the starting line and by the time you cross the finish line, your inner self has been reinvented and reimagined. Zen of Running

Long distance running is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical. Rich Hall

Never limit where running can take you. I mean that geographically, spiritually, and of course, physically. Bart Yasso

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. Milton Berle

Our running shoes have magic in them. The power to transform a bad day into a good day; frustration into speed; self doubt into confidence; chocolate cake into muscle. Mina Samuels

If you run 100 miles a week, you can eat anything you want. Why? Because  you’ll burn all the calories you consume, you deserve it, and you’ll be injured soon and back on a restricted diet anyway. Don Kardong

Remember, the feeling you get from a good run is far better than the feeling you get from sitting around wishing you were running. Sarah Condor

If you start to feel good during an ultra, don’t worry, you will get over it. Gene Thibeault

Running is a road to self awareness and reliance you can push yourself to extremes and learn the harsh reality of your physical and mental limitations or coast quietly down a solitary path watching the earth spin beneath your feet. Doris Brown Heritage

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. Erma Bombeck

Some people train knowing they’re not working as hard as other people. I can’t fathom how they think. Alberto Salazar

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. Jumbo Elliot

Struggling and suffering are the essence of a life worth living. If you’re not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you’re not demanding more from yourself expanding and learning as you go you’re choosing a numb existence. You’re denying yourself an extraordinary trip. Dean Karnazes

I love running cross country. On a track, I feel like a hamster. Robin Williams

The Hopis consider running a form of prayer; they offer every step as a sacrifice to a loved one, and in return ask the Great Spirit to match their strength with some of his own. Christopher McDougall

Life is short. Running makes it seem longer. Baron Hansen

A year from now you will wish you had started today. Karen Lamb

If the hill has its own name, then it’s probably a pretty tough hill. Marty Stern

Fast running isn’t forced. You have to relax and let the run come out of you. Desiree Linden

Jogging is for people who aren’t intelligent enough to watch television. Victoria Wood

Good things come slow, especially in distance running. Bill Dellinger

Start slow, then taper off. Walt Stack

I always tell my athletes, don’t confuse difficulty with failure. Eric Orton

I don’t think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit ups. Rita Rudner

I think I get addicted to the feelings associated with the end of a long run. I love feeling empty, clean, worn out, and sweat purged. I love that good ache of the muscles that have done my proud. Kristin Armstrong

It is true that speed kills. In distance running, it kills anyone who does not have it. Brooks Johnson

If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you. Fred DeVito

Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. William James

Never underestimate the power that one good workout can have on your mind. Keeping the dream alive is half the battle. Kara Goucher

If you feel bad at 10 miles, you’re in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles, you’re normal. If you don’t feel bad at 26 miles, you’re abnormal. Rob de Castella

Run like hell and get the agony over with. Clarence DeMar

Good things come slow. Especially in distance running. Bill Dellinger

Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. Doug Larson

How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. Jimmy Fallon

The human spirit is indomitable. No one can ever say you must not run faster than this or jump higher than that. There will never be a time when the human spirit will not be able to better existing records. Sir Roger Bannister

Run like hell and get the agony over with. Clarence DeMar

There’s not one body type that equates to success. Accept the body you have and be the best you can be with it. Mary Cullen

Running a marathon felt like I played in a very rough football game with no hitting above the waist. Alan Page

We all have bad days and bad workouts, when running gets ugly, when split times seem slow, when you wonder why you started. It will pass. Hal Higdon

It’s unnatural for people to run around the city streets unless they are thieves or victims. It makes people nervous to see someone running. I know that when I see someone running on my street, my instincts tell me to let the dog go after him. Mike Royko

We run when we’re scared, we run when we’re ecstatic, we run away from our problems and run around for a good time. Christopher McDougall

The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back. Franklin Jones

What I’ve learned from running is that the time to push hard is when you’re hurting like crazy and you want to give up. Success is often just around the corner. James Dyson

Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas. Esa Tikkannen

Your body will argue that there is no justifiable reason to continue. Your only recourse is to call on your spirit, which fortunately functions independently of logic. Tim Noakes

If God invented marathons to keep people from doing anything more stupid, the triathlon must have taken him completely by surprise. P.Z. Pearce

As athletes we have ups and downs. Unfortunately, you can’t pick the days they come on. Leena Kastor

I run so my goals in life will continue to get bigger instead of my belly. Bill Kirby

Even if there were two of me, I still couldn’t do all that has to be done. No matter what, though, I keep up my running. Running every day is a kind of lifeline for me, so I’m not going to lay off or quit just because I’m busy. If I used being busy as an excuse not to run, I’d never run again. I have only a few reasons to keep on running, and a truckload of them to quit. All I can do is keep those few reasons nicely polished. Haruki Murakami

I go running when I have to. Like when the ice cream truck is doing sixty. Wendy Liebman

I don’t run to add days to my life, I run to add life to my days. Ronald Rook

We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. Will Rogers

Make sure your worst enemy doesn’t live between your own two ears. Laird Hamilton

I don’t believe in jogging. It extending your life, but by about the same amount of time you spend jogging. Marshall Brickman

Some seek the comfort of their therapist’s office, other head to the corner pub and dive into a pint, but I chose running as my therapy. Dean Karnazes

You don’t really need cocaine to get really high, do you know what I’m sayin? Cause there’s another way to get really high and it’s really cheap. Just run 26 miles. Robin Williams

The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start. John Bingham

I would sooner be prime minister of the moon than run another marathon. I’ve been really lucky. I didn’t have any toenails fall off or anything disgusting like that. I still have all three nipples. Ryan Reynolds

The nine inches right here; set it straight and you can beat anybody in the world. Sebastian Coe

I’ve walked 2 marathons. Pretty sure I can handle a 5k. Key is drafting, eliminate wind resistance. Andy Bernard

What is the source of my success? I think it’s a combination of consistency and balance. Mark Allen

Finishing that 5k was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I ate more fettuccine Alfredo and drank less water than I have in my entire life. People always talk about triumphs of the human spirit, well, today I had a triumph of the human body. That’s why everybody was applauding for me at the end. My guts and my heart. And, while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I’m very, very proud of that. Michael Scott

You are truly your own hero in running. It is up to you to have the responsibility and self discipline to get the job done. Adam Goucher

Why couldn’t Pheidippides have died at 20 miles? Frank Shorter

Your body provides you with constant feedback that can help improve your running performance while minimizing biomechanical stress. Learn to differentiate between the discomfort of effort and the pain of injury. When you practice listening, you increase competence in persevering through the former and responding with respect and compassion to the latter. Gina Greenlee

If you feel bad at 10 miles you’re in trouble. If you feel bad at 20 miles you’re normal. If you don’t feel bad at 26 miles you’re abnormal. Robert de Castella

Every run is a work of art, a drawing on each day’s canvas. Some runs are shouts and some runs are whispers. Some runs are eulogies and others, celebrations. Dagny Scott Barrios