75+ Best Funny Sports Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Sport includes all forms of competitive physical activity or games which, through casual or organized participation, at least in part aim to use, maintain or improve physical ability and skills while providing enjoyment to participants, and in some cases, entertainment for spectators. Inspirational funny sports quotes will fire up your brain and inspire you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for funny sayings and hilarious thanksgiving quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny soccer quotes, hilarious science quotes and funniest saturday quotes.

Famous Funny Sports Quotes

Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen; soccer is a gentleman’s game played by beasts; football is a beastly game played by beasts. – Henry Blaha

know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. – Gerald R. Ford

If you have everything under control, you’re not moving fast enough. – Mario Andretti

During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at-bats a season. That means I played sever years without ever hitting the ball. – Mickey Mantle

I’ve never lost a game I just ran out of time. – Michael Jordan

funny sports quotes

It’s a round ball and a round bat, and you got to hit it square. – Pete Rose

I’ve been in the twilight of my career longer than most people have had their career. – Martina Navratilova

Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don’t move. – Satchel Paige

I became a good pitcher when I stopped trying to make them miss the ball and started trying to make them hit it. – Sandy Koufax

The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. – Phyllis Diller

If you make every game a life-and-death thing, you’re going to have problems. You’ll be dead a lot. – Dean Smith

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up. – Vince Lombardi

Do not let what you can not do interfere with what you can do. – John Wooden

Baseball is like church. Many attend few understand. – Leo Durocher

I don’t have any tricky plays, I’d rather have tricky players. – Abe Lemons

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. – Gordie Howe

If you aren’t going all the way, why go at all? – Joe Namath

You are never really playing an opponent. You are playing yourself, your own highest standards, and when you reach your limits, that is real joy. – Arthur Ashe

I love me some me. – Terrell Owens

Nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row. – Vitas Gerulaitis

The trouble with referees is that they know the rules, but they do not know the game. – Bill Shankly

You win some, lose some, and wreck some. – Dale Earnhardt

I should be a postage stamp. That’s the only way I’ll ever get licked. – Muhammad Ali

I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of figure skating. I was going to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character. – Charles Barkley

[Soccer] is a simple game: 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end, the Germans win. – Gary Lineker

I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that. – Jerry Rice

The first half was even, the second half was even worse. – Pat Spillane

I think football would become an even better game if someone could invent a ball that kicks back. – Eric Morecambe

The rules of soccer are very simple, basically it is this: if it moves, kick it. If it doesn’t move, kick it until it does. – Phil Woosnam

Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors. – Frank Gifford

When you’re rich, you don’t write checks. Straight cash, homie. – Randy Moss

They don’t think it be like it is, but it do. – Oscar Gamble

I dunno. I never smoked any AstroTurf. – Tug McGraw

Because there are no fours. – Antoine Walker

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. – Joe Theismann

Serious sport is war minus the shooting. – George Orwell

Sports are the reason I am out of shape. I watch them all on TV. – Thomas Sowell

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck

The NFL, like life, is full of idiots. – Randy Cross

The breakfast of champions is not cereal, it’s the opposition. – Nick Seitz

That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it. – unknown

Fault finding is like window washing. All the dirt seems to be on the other side. – unknown

I’m glad I don’t play anymore. I could never learn all of those handshakes. – Phil Rizzuto

I think I throw the ball as hard as anyone. The ball just doesn’t get there as fast. – Eddie Bane

I’d be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball. – Pete Rose

If you’re not sure what to do with the ball, just pop it in the net and we’ll discuss your options afterward. – Bill Shankly

The secret is to have eight great players and four others who will cheer like crazy. – Jerry Tarkanian

Vengeance is for God. I’m just here to play tennis. – Serena Williams

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn’t do you any good. – Abe Lemmons

The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break. – John Madden

Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very un-orderly world. If you get three strikes, even the best lawyer in the world can’t get you off. – Bill Veeck

If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why practice? – Derek P.

Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. – Vince Lombardi

The key is not the will to win… everybody has that. It is the will to prepare to win that is important. – Bobby Knight

When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less. – Paul Brown

A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning. – Billie Jean King

Winning isn’t everything, but it beats anything that comes in second. – Paul Bear” Bryant

Losing feels worse than winning feels good. – Vin Scully

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. – Jack Lemmon

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched. – Roger Kahn

Wrestling is ballet with violence. – Jesse Ventura

Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake. – Sylvester Stallone

Winning is the most important thing in my life, after breathing. Breathing first, winning next. – George Steinbrenner

For me, winning isn’t something that happens suddenly on the field when the whistle blows and the crowds roar. Winning is something that builds physically and mentally every day that you train and every night that you dream. – Emmitt Smith

No matter how much you’ve won, no matter how many games, no matter how many championships, no matter how many Super Bowls, you’re not winning now, so you stink. – Bill Parcells

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. – George Brett

Losing is the great American sin. – Jerome Holtzman

Winning solves everything. – Tiger Woods

Victory is fleeting. Losing is forever. – Billie Jean King

I’ve never lost a game. I just ran out of time. – Michael Jordan

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other. – Jack Handey

The only way to prove that you’re a good sport is to lose. – Ernie Banks

I figure practice puts your brains in your muscles. – Sam Snead

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