40+ Best Funny Teacher Quotes: Exclusive Selection

A teacher is a person who helps students to acquire knowledge, competence or virtue. Inspirational funny teacher quotes will challenge the way you think, and help guide you through any life experience.

If you’re searching for funniest quotes ever and funniest movie quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of extremely funny summer quotes, hilarious stress quotes and funniest sports quotes.

Famous Funny Teacher Quotes

There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can’t move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies. Robert Frost

Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching that is really what our enthusiasm for education has come to. Oscar Wilde

I always loved art teachers because they were so bizarre. They were like the homeless people of the faculty -all disheveled, wearing smocks, covered in paint, always digging through the garbage, looking for bottles and egg cartons and things. Ted Alexandro

I had another wild night last night. I finished grading papers at 11:00 p.m. I stayed up and partied until 11:02 p.m. Heidi McDonald

The chief wonder of education is that it does not ruin everybody concerned in it, teachers and taught. Henry Adams

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. Louis-Hector Berlioz

funny teacher quotes

A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded. D. Martin

Teachers are overworked and underpaid. True, it is an exacting and exhausting business, this damming up the flood of human potentialities. ~George B. Leonard

A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she’s looking at. John R. Kemble

I won’t say I was a slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to. Chic Murray

She used to be a teacher but she has no class now. Fred Allen

Spoon feeding in the long run teaches us nothing but the shape of the spoon. E. M. Forster

Teaching is the greatest act of optimism. Colleen Wilcox

Sunday is a teacher’s day of REST: the REST of the laundry, the REST of the housework, and grade the REST of the papers. Heidi McDonald

Teacher’s nightmare: Tying a wet shoelace when it has not been raining. Unknown

Educators are the only people who lose sleep over other people’s kids. Nicholas A. Ferroni

Your best teacher is your last mistake. Ralph Nader

The best thing about being a teacher is that it matters. The hardest thing about being a teacher is that it matters every day. Todd Whitaker

hilarious teacher quotes

Top Funny Teacher Quotes

Teaching: the only profession where you steal things from home and bring them to work. Unknown

A very wise old teacher once said: I consider a day’s teaching wasted if we do not all have one hearty laugh. Gilbert Highet

I think a secure profession for young people is history teacher, because in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach. Bill Muse

There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly. Lola May

For every person wishing to teach, there are thirty not wanting to be taught. Unknown

Teachers are the only professionals who have to respond to bells every forty-five minutes and come out fighting. Frank McCourt

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns

I can’t believe I just saw my teacher at the grocery store! I thought she lived in her classroom! Heidi McDonald

funniest teacher quotes

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. Woody Allen

Teaching seems to require the sort of skills one would need to pilot a bus full of live chickens backwards, with no brakes, down a rocky road through the Andes while simultaneously providing colorful and informative commentary on the scenery. Franklin Habit

If you really want to know about the future, don’t ask a technologist, a scientist, a physicist. No! Don’t ask somebody who’s writing code. No, if you want to know what society’s going to be like in 20 years, ask a kindergarten teacher. Clifford Stoll

I have noticed that teachers get exciting confused with boring a lot. Sara Pennypacker

As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools. Unknown

No school teacher has ever had a former student return to say a standardized test has changed his or her life. Joe Martin

Summer: The time of the year when parents realize just how grossly underpaid teachers actually are. Unknown

I teach high school math. I sell a product to a market that doesn’t want it, but is forced by law to buy it. Dan Meyer

A good teacher must know the rules; a good pupil, the exceptions. Martin H. Fischer

The best teacher of children, in brief, is one who is essentially childlike. H. L. Mencken

Good teachers are the ones who can challenge young minds without losing their own. Unknown

You think when gym teachers were younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach… but I don’t want to read. How about kickball for 40 years? Jim Gaffigan

He who can, does. He who cannot, teaches. George Bernard Shaw

A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded. Darwin D. Martin

You want to know how I think art should be taught to children? Take them to a museum and say, “This is art, and you can’t do it. Steve Martin

Blaming teachers for the problems in education is like blaming doctors for people being sick. Unknown

To survive as a teacher you need 3 bones: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone. Unknown

In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window. Rodney Dangerfield

Teachers affect eternity; no-one can tell where their influence stops. Henry Brook Adams

The only people you have to look out for in life are the people that don’t care about anything or anyone. These are the people that end up teaching your children. Shannon L. Alder

There are three good reasons to be a teacher June, July, and August. Unknown