This has to be my most vulnerable, unexpected post yet.
I screwed up big time today and it could have cost me my life. In a few seconds, everything I’ve known could have been wiped away clean. In front of my father’s own eyes. The only reason I’m able to type this a half hour later is because of God. He granted me the courage to pull my car out of harm’s way, He granted the other driver the compassion to slow down so I could escape, He saved my life when I was inches away from death.
The entire way home, I was trembling physically and mentally. My brain raced through what my dad would say to me when I got home even though he was nowhere to be found on the freeway. Perhaps it was for the best I didn’t see him until I got home because I probably would have lost my cool. Perhaps it was for the best I didn’t see him until I got home because I realized something after ten minutes of panic.
God wanted me to move on. He didn’t want me to dwell on my fatal error. He didn’t want me to live in fear for the rest of my days. He saved my life so that I could get up on my feet and do something. That something is university. (Ironically, university was the very place I was practicing driving to today.)
Until today, I allowed myself to believe God was no longer watching over me. I was wrong. He’s been there all along silently pulling the strings behind the scenes, I was just too blind to notice.
Once I got home, I braced myself for the inevitable. It never came. My father never saw it unfold. And he never will see it unfold because I’ll never allow it to happen again. Lightning never strikes the same place twice, God expects me to have learned my lesson.
I’m not worthy of His grace. Not yet. I must prove it.
P.S. Please do let me know what you think in the comments below, I’m very shaken up and would love some words of encouragement. There’s nothing quite like this on my blog: https://confessionsofareborngirl.wordpress.com/ but I’d appreciate it if you stopped by anyway.