24+ Best The Hangover Quotes: Exclusive Selection

The Hangover is a series of three American comedy films created by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore and directed by Todd Phillips. All three films follow the misadventures of a quartet of friends who go on their road trip to attend a bachelor party. Funniest The Hangover quotes will fire up your brain and encourage you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

Most Hilarious Quotes From The Hangover

Alan: can I ask you another question?
Alan: Can I ask you another question?
Lisa: Sure.
Alan: you probably get this a lot. This isn’t real Caesars Palace. is it?
Alan: You probably get this a lot. This isn’t real Caesars Palace. is it?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan: did ummm, did Caesar live here?
Alan: Did ummm, did Caesar live here?
Lisa: Ummm, no.
Alan: I didn’t think so.

Alan: Four of us wolves, wandering the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and coc*ine.

Alan: Whatever happens tonight, I won’t ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don’t care what happens. I don’t care if we kill someone. You heard me, it’s Sin City.

Alan: I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

Mr. Chow: now, give me money. Or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motha fuckas. and then we take it. Your choice b*tch*s.

Stu: “She is wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.”
Alan: “I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”

Alan: It’s not a purse. It’s a sachel. Besides, Indiana Jones has one.

Alan: Tigers love pepper…they hate cinnamon.

Alan: (Talking about burning the cop car) Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret, light it on both ends, put it in.

Stu: We’re in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?
Alan: I think the cop car part’s pretty cool.
Phil: Thank you, Alan!

Alan: Oh, you know what? Next week’s no good…the Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it’s totally fine.

Doug Billings: Hey, you’ve reached Doug. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a name and number and I’ll get back to you.

Stu: Why can’t we remember ANYTHING that happened last night?
Alan: That’s one of the side-effects of Roofies. Memory loss.
Stu: You are literally too stupid to insult.
Alan: Thank you.

Alan: There’s a jungle cat in the bathroom!
Phil: He’s not kidding! There’s a tiger in there!

Phil: You’re not really wearing that are you?
Alan: Wearing what?
Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just f**kin’ with me?
Alan: It’s where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it’s not a purse, it’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil: So does Joy Behar.

Alan: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close?
Doug: Doug Billings: Yeah, what’s wrong?
Alan: I shouldn’t be here.
Doug: Why is that, Alan?
Alan: I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school…or a Chuck E. Cheese.

Alan: Hey, guys, when’s the next Halley’s Comet?
Stu: I dunno. Not for like, another 80 years.
Alan: But it’s not tonight, is it?
Stu: NO.

Phil: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Linda Garner: Anything?
Tracy Garner: I tried them all. It keeps going straight to voicemail.
Linda Garner: Well, there has to be an explanation.
Sid Garner: Sweetie, it’s Vegas. You lose track of time in those casinos. There’s no windows, there’s no clocks. He’s probably on a heater. And you never walk away from the table when you’re on a heater.
Linda Garner: You do if you’re getting married.

[while getting fitted for a tux]
Alan Garner: [to the tailor] Woh, watch it pervert!
Doug Billings: It’s okay Alan, he’s just measuring your inseam.
Alan Garner: He’s getting close to my shaft.

Stu: Ew, Allen, did you just eat sofa pizza?

Phil: The Best Little Chapel, do you know where that is?
Dr. Valsh: I do. It’s at the corner of get a map and f**k off. I’m a doctor, not a tour guide.

Phil: Whose baby is that?
Stu: Alan, are you sure you didn’t see anyone else in the suite?
Alan: Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one’s here. Check its collar or something.

Phil: Tracy, it’s Phil.
Tracy: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil: Listen, we f**ked up. We lost Doug.
Tracy: What? We’re getting married in five hours!
Phil: Yeah… that’s not gonna happen.

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