24+ Best The Hangover Quotes: Exclusive Selection

The Hangover is a series of three American comedy films created by Jon Lucas and Scott Moore and directed by Todd Phillips. All three films follow the misadventures of a quartet of friends who go on their road trip to attend a bachelor party. Funniest The Hangover quotes will fire up your brain and encourage you to look at life differently while making you laugh.

If you’re searching for greatest movie quotes that perfectly capture what you’d like to say or just want to feel inspired yourself, browse through an amazing collection of inspiring Austin Powers quotes, best Office Space quotes and famous The Godfather quotes.

Most Hilarious Quotes From The Hangover

Alan: can I ask you another question?
Alan: Can I ask you another question?
Lisa: Sure.
Alan: you probably get this a lot. This isn’t real Caesars Palace. is it?
Alan: You probably get this a lot. This isn’t real Caesars Palace. is it?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan: did ummm, did Caesar live here?
Alan: Did ummm, did Caesar live here?
Lisa: Ummm, no.
Alan: I didn’t think so.

Alan: Four of us wolves, wandering the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and coc*ine.

Alan: Whatever happens tonight, I won’t ever speak a word of it. Seriously. I don’t care what happens. I don’t care if we kill someone. You heard me, it’s Sin City.

Alan: I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.

Mr. Chow: now, give me money. Or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motha fuckas. and then we take it. Your choice b*tch*s.

Stu: “She is wearing my grandmother’s Holocaust ring.”
Alan: “I didn’t know they gave out rings at the Holocaust.”

Alan: It’s not a purse. It’s a sachel. Besides, Indiana Jones has one.

Alan: Tigers love pepper…they hate cinnamon.

Alan: (Talking about burning the cop car) Easy. You just pour kerosene over a ferret, light it on both ends, put it in.

Stu: We’re in a stolen cop car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back. What part of this is cool?
Alan: I think the cop car part’s pretty cool.
Phil: Thank you, Alan!

Alan: Oh, you know what? Next week’s no good…the Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it’s totally fine.

Doug Billings: Hey, you’ve reached Doug. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a name and number and I’ll get back to you.

Stu: Why can’t we remember ANYTHING that happened last night?
Alan: That’s one of the side-effects of Roofies. Memory loss.
Stu: You are literally too stupid to insult.
Alan: Thank you.

Alan: There’s a jungle cat in the bathroom!
Phil: He’s not kidding! There’s a tiger in there!

Phil: You’re not really wearing that are you?
Alan: Wearing what?
Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just f**kin’ with me?
Alan: It’s where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it’s not a purse, it’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Phil: So does Joy Behar.

Alan: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close?
Doug: Doug Billings: Yeah, what’s wrong?
Alan: I shouldn’t be here.
Doug: Why is that, Alan?
Alan: I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school…or a Chuck E. Cheese.

Alan: Hey, guys, when’s the next Halley’s Comet?
Stu: I dunno. Not for like, another 80 years.
Alan: But it’s not tonight, is it?
Stu: NO.

Phil: Would you please put some pants on? I feel weird having to ask you twice.

Linda Garner: Anything?
Tracy Garner: I tried them all. It keeps going straight to voicemail.
Linda Garner: Well, there has to be an explanation.
Sid Garner: Sweetie, it’s Vegas. You lose track of time in those casinos. There’s no windows, there’s no clocks. He’s probably on a heater. And you never walk away from the table when you’re on a heater.
Linda Garner: You do if you’re getting married.

[while getting fitted for a tux]
Alan Garner: [to the tailor] Woh, watch it pervert!
Doug Billings: It’s okay Alan, he’s just measuring your inseam.
Alan Garner: He’s getting close to my shaft.

Stu: Ew, Allen, did you just eat sofa pizza?

Phil: The Best Little Chapel, do you know where that is?
Dr. Valsh: I do. It’s at the corner of get a map and f**k off. I’m a doctor, not a tour guide.

Phil: Whose baby is that?
Stu: Alan, are you sure you didn’t see anyone else in the suite?
Alan: Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one’s here. Check its collar or something.

Phil: Tracy, it’s Phil.
Tracy: Phil, where the hell are you guys?
Phil: Listen, we f**ked up. We lost Doug.
Tracy: What? We’re getting married in five hours!
Phil: Yeah… that’s not gonna happen.