Profoundly inspirational Hank Hill quotes will challenge the way you think, change the way you live and transform your whole life.
Famous Hank Hill Quotes
What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he’s white? – Hank Hill
Your heart is telling you?! Who’s the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work! – Hank Hill
Maybe I should tie the long hair on your head to the short hair on your ass and kick you down the street! – Hank Hill
Can’t you see you’re not making Christianity any better, you’re just making rock and roll worse? – Hank Hill
Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put them out makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn. – Hank Hill
Bobby, some things are like a tire fire, trying to put it out only makes it worse. You just gotta grab a beer and let it burn. – Hank Hill
AM, and already the boy ain’t right! – Hank Hill
Dallas? I don’t want you going to Dallas at all! That place is crawling with crack heads and debutantes. And half of them play for the Cowboys. – Hank Hill
That’s a clean-burning Hell, I tell you what! – Hank Hill
There’s something missing, something wrong…it’s like a pretty girl with short hair. – Hank Hill
I have a sense of humor. I laugh at Tony Danza. – Hank Hill
Bobby, if you weren’t my son I’d hug you. – Hank Hill
BWAAAAHH! – Hank Hill
I don’t have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem! – Hank Hill
Don’t play mind checkers with me, man. I’m not in the mood. – Hank Hill
Dale, that’s asinine, and here’s four reasons why. First, you’re not gonna clone a super-warrior out of a guy who can’t even win a thumb-wrestling match. Two, you’ve spent your life swearing that the robots will eliminate the clones by the year , so which is it, robots or clones? Three, you’ve already said you sympathize with the invading Mongolians of , so you’d be the last one they’d send to fight them. And four, if you were from the future, you would have seen this coming. – Hank Hill
Bobby, Al Yankovic blew his brains out in the late s after people stopped buying his records. He’s not worth getting in trouble over. – Hank Hill
Your heart is telling you?! Who’s the boss, you or your heart? You are! Your heart is your employee! So get your heart off its butt and back to work! – Hank Hill
The only woman I’m pimping from now on is Sweet Lady Propane. And I’m tricking her out all over this town. – Hank Hill
So, are you Chinese or Japanese? – Hank Hill
There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed! – Hank Hill
No, you are not tripping, that is an emu. – Hank Hill
An ‘F’ in English? Bobby, you speak English! – Hank Hill
Bobby, I didn’t think I’d ever need to tell you this, but I would be a bad parent if I didn’t. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking. – Hank Hill
You shut your got-dang mouth or I’ll shove that Ditch Witch down your throat and dig a tunnel straight through to sunshine! – Hank Hill
I sell popcorn and popcorn accessories. – Hank Hill
But that shouldn’t stop you from pursuing your own dreams of wood, plywood, pressed fiberboard, and, if you’ve got the talent, metal! Y’see, shop doesn’t have to happen in any special place—as long as it’s well lit, and the outlets are grounded. Because shop is bigger than any classroom, or garage, or stupid policy that makes tools illegal—it’s in our hearts. – Hank Hill
Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking. – Hank Hill
I’m doped out of my gourd! – Hank Hill
They weren’t dancing like you and I used to, Peggy. They were enjoying it. – Hank Hill
I wasn’t flirting with her. I didn’t even mention that I work in propane! – Hank Hill
You know, Helen Keller was largely useless, but look how we remember her. Yep, first lady of the American stage. – Hank Hill
Why would anyone smoke week when they could just mow a lawn? – Hank Hill
I am the mack daddy of Heimlich County! – Hank Hill
What? No, I sell propane! – Hank Hill
