Is it possible to fall back in love? The short answer is yes but it usually takes some effort to reconnect to your loving feelings. You can put the spark back and refresh your relationship.
To fall back in love, you need to, first of all, sit back down and answer honest questions and possibly make notes of what has happened so far in your relationship, how it happened, where it happened, and why it happened.
Also, you need to understand characteristics of a healthy relationship and determine what kind relationship you have. At the end of the day, you should trust each other and feel safe together. Both of you can learn and grow together.
It is possible to reconnect with your partner. So, how do you fall in love with your partner again? Take three basic steps: examine yourself, your past together, then renew your commitment towards your partner, and possibly introduce new commitments.
Tips to Fall Back in Love With Your Partner
If all your energy is directed towards yourself, or maybe you are holding a lot of grudges for your partner, it is time to let them go.
If you can’t let grudges go, or you keep looking out for yourself alone, you may not be able to fall back in love. A positive attitude and forgiveness towards your partner are the keys.
A true examination of all your past activities may involve putting yourself in the shoes of your partner, trying not to see things from your perspective alone but also viewing things as they would see them.
Once you understand what they may be going through or have gone through, then you can work on your relationship.
Of course, you shouldn’t take responsibility for the wrong of your partner, but you should at least be open to accepting your wrong.
But being in their shoes helps to open your mind to the truth and draws you back to where and how the relationship started. The things you treasure, and the things your partner admired about you.
Then you will have to write down some important questions and provide honest answers to them. The reason is that if you don’t know what took your affection, you are likely not going to know how to face them.
Questions like, how have you helped them achieve their goals? Did you stop putting efforts to compliment them?
Take a critical and honest look at your lives before and now. Have all your priorities changed to only focus on yourself? Are you still committed as before?
Do you find yourself being rude even to the extent of shocking yourself? I mean, something you wouldn’t tolerate from another person. Do you still listen to their stories or at least give them attention when they need you to?
Do you mock them when you think you are better off? When last did you shop for them or with them?
Do you still go on vacations together? When last did you make out time to be with them? Do you still remember their favorite dishes?
Maybe they too have stopped looking out for you as well, when did they stop? What lead to that?
We can go on and on, but the truth is that up to 90 percent of what kills affection in a relationship, apart from cheating, is self-centeredness and grudges. An honest examination of your actions and inactions is very important.
Once you create a very honest list of where the rain began, then you are ready to understand where it stopped.
- Renew Commitment
Having examined what could be affecting your love life with your partner, the next step is to renew your commitment towards them.
Again, take your pen and write down where your commitment is now lacking.
Renewing commitment also includes taking steps to make amends, that is, going back to what worked for you two, and reintroducing them to grow your love again.
- Going for dinner
Make schedules for dinner. And as you plan, think of those memorable dinners you had in the early stage of your relationship. Where did you have those dinners or what environment your partner love? The outfits they may like.
After you select the perfect location, and perfect meal, and perfect outfit, then the next is the conversation.
It is not enough to schedule a dinner that you eat in absolute silence or while having a very poor conversation.
Open the conversation line with a simple, open-ended question that makes your partner go in-depth. Questions like, why did you choose me?
This question is enough to get them to recall how you began, where you began, the burning desires that brought you two together. It is just like saying, give me a summary of our love story.
You two would probably end up with deep emotional reactions.
Then comes the follow-up question, do you still feel this way…? Do you think we could get better…? And so on.
Each question must depend solely on the answers they provide with the first.
- Go through old pictures together
You can do this alone if it is just you that needs to fall back in love, but if the both of you need to come back in love, then the two of you need to do this.
Bring the old photo albums when your significant other is in a good mood.
Ask innocent questions like, do you still remember what happened at the beach here? What were you saying here? Our honeymoon hotel: when are we visiting the hotel again? et cetera.
These little memories would work wonders and before you know it, you are cuddling and kissing again.
- Send flowers to their place of work
Are they always working and busy and can hardly make out time? Show them that their work won’t divide you anymore, take a present or a bunch of beautiful flowers or even those memorable pictures to their place of work. This is enough to make their day.
Once the old memories start coming back, hold on to it and go intimate. Revitalize affection by leveraging deep romance and intimacy.
Even though intimacy on its own is not enough, yet it is part of the solution to falling back in love.
- Pay attention to their needs
Sometimes in life, we are so engrossed in ourselves that we pay little or no attention to what is happening around us.
The same is witnessed in relationships. Our loved ones may just need a little bit of our attention, but we are too busy to notice.
Giving attention to little things they do or love may help a lot in building back your love life.
- No Comparison
Never compare your relationship with that of your friends. Do what works for both of you. Your friends may find happiness in doing things differently, that is what works for them, and it doesn’t mean that it has to work for you as well. Find your happiness by doing what works for you and your partner.
In other words, don’t listen to gossip. Once you trim off every atom of comparison and gossip, you will begin to appreciate the little effort your partner is putting to make the relationship work.
- Plan vacation together
You may need to change your environment, see things differently, go places with your better half to rebuild your affection.
Vacation has worked wonders for so many partner and it could be your next best decision. Doing so will help you to have all the time to yourself away from work and other distractions of life.
- Buy their favorite
Buying your partner’s favorites could help rekindle affection for both the receiver and the giver.
Buying their favorite dish or present will increase their emotional connection with you, and the tendency for them to return the favor is almost assured.
- Seek counsel
If it seems nothing is working, seek counsel from a professional in the field.
This works most of the time, as sitting face to face with a relationship expert will help them get firsthand information from you as to what is negatively affecting your relationship and will help them to proffer a better solution on solving them.
- Learn New Commitments
The third and final step is to learn new commitments.
Learn new things, new skills, maybe how to cook their favorite dishes, you may also learn to like their favorite TV show, their hobbies, and so on. Surprise them with these new things, it works perfectly well most of the time.
Think of how they will feel if they see you with deep knowledge of these things they love.
New commitment may even include, changing your fragrance, establishing a talk ritual. It may be, having to learn nicknames or pick up lines.
Maybe you were not romantic and became romantic. You can send I love you message to show your gratitude and love. There is no doubt that cute love letters and romantic I miss you text can be the beginning of expressing feelings for your lover.
It could be something that they have always wished you do. Just learn something that works and use it to spice up your love life.
Love is a beautiful thing. If falling back in love is what your relationship needs now, go for it.
Examine yourself in all honesty, state or better still, write down your problems. When these problems started, how they actually started, and so on.
Then take steps to address these problems by reviewing your commitment towards your partner. Give in to compromise and tolerance. Rekindle old memories. Buy gifts, go on vacations, go for dinners together, get more intimate, pay attention to their needs, pay attention to details, seek counsel, and so on.
Build new commitments that were never there. Try cooking their favorite dishes, learn new skills, add to your look and smell. Seduce your partner, appear attractive in bed.
What other ways would you apply to fall back in love? What has worked for you? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.