100+ Best Idiot Quotes: Exclusive Selection

Profoundly inspirational idiot quotes will challenge the way you think, and make your life worth living.

Famous Idiot Quotes

I told them, ‘We’re absolutely not scoring 30. When guys get a chance to get in the game they want to score. But I was proud of them for someone not being an idiot and taking a shot in the final minutes of the fourth quarter. — Jim Berkman

I sometimes think the theatre is more demanding because it requires things you don’t have in films, like it requires you to make the people in the front row believe you and not look an idiot to them while the people right at the back can hear you. — Michael Gambon

You idiot! She spat, flattening her ears. What are you doing in my territory? Drowning? Replied Graystripe. — Erin Hunter

Sanity means the wholeness of the consciousness. And our society is only part conscious, like an idiot. — D. H. Lawrence

He loved her because it was his nature to do so, but there were times when he could not endure her love for him. There were times when it became nothing but pure idiot mystery… — Flannery O’Connor

My kids hear me behind my door, giggling like an idiot, and they roll their eyes at the blatant indignity of it all. — Berkeley Breathed

We played 10 of the top 20 teams in the state. I’m sure a lot of people thought I was an idiot for doing that, but I’d have to say that was a little bit of it. — Ken Chevalier

I’m paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free? — Henny Youngman

There is no ´Complete Idiots Guide to Creationism,´ but perhaps one is not needed. — Andrei Codrescu

Even idiots ocasionally speak the truth accidentally. — Dorothy L. Sayers

A plague on eminence! I hardly dare cross the street anymore without a convoy, and I am stared at wherever I go like an idiot member of a royal family or an animal in a zoo; and zoo animals have been known to die from stares — Igor Stravinsky

It can provide horrendous weapons to idiots. — Jack McDevitt

When the sage points at the moon, all that the idiot sees is the finger. — Anthony de Mello

Now I know what it is like to feel like a total idiot. — Jeff Lindsay

My mom wanted to show my dad any idiot could do it. — Dennis Quaid

And then he thought: Is this how idiots rationalize their stupidity to themselves? — Orson Scott Card

Any idiot can amass intelligence. It is being able to leverage that knowledge. They are good at that. — Richard Hyman

Writers are idiots with Underwoods. — Darryl F. Zanuck

When I was younger, my parents used to say, Trust us on this. We have more experience than you. And I was like, Shut up, you don’t know anything! But I was an idiot. They did know more stuff because they’d experienced more things. — Chris Hardwick

I can’t remember any text of mine where I said that one should fight Hitler without violence; I’m not an idiot. — Adam Michnik

There are so many things that you think will look cool but then you look like an idiot! — Anne Burrell

I was such a screwup when I got to the big leagues. I was a total idiot. — Curt Schilling

He is the kind of a man that you could use as a blueprint to build an idiot — Justine Vogt

She really did like me, the idiot. — Jeff Lindsay

As though an invisible hand were writing upon it, words appeared on the smooth surface of the map. Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.Snape froze. Harry stared, dumbstruck, at the message. But the map didn’t stop there. More writing was appearing beneath the first.Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.It would have been funny if the situation hadn’t been so serious. And there was more…Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.Harry closed his eyes in horror. When he’d opened them, the map had had its last word.Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball. — Joanne Rowling

There are too many idiots in this world. And having said it, I have the burden of proving it. — Frantz Fanon

I don’t do a hell of a lot of publicity. I find it nauseous. I feel like a blithering idiot and your friends are laughing at you. — Chris Noth

People are worried about what’s going to happen to journalism – and they should be. Every day, the blogosphere is getting better and print media is getting worse; you have to be an idiot not to see that. — Kara Swisher

We were a 12th seed. A 12th seed. Why would I think we’re going to be a 3 seed this year? Where’s the proof? I’m going to sound like an idiot if I say that. — Karl Hobbs

Mr. Bush and his gang do know what they’re doing, and Blair, unless he really is the deluded idiot he often appears to be, also knows what they’re doing. — Harold Pinter

I enjoyed watching good-looking idiots looking at each other. A great spectator sport. — Jeff Lindsay

Stencils are good for two reasons; one – they’re quick; two – they annoy idiots — Banksy

Is that why you didn’t call me? Because I’m an idiot? — Cassandra Clare

More idiots should just shut their mouths. — Chris Martin

So I’m asking Congress, please investigate this now. Take whatever idiot they have at the top of whatever agency and give me a better idiot. Give me a caring idiot. Give me a sensitive idiot. Just don’t give me the same idiot. — Aaron Broussard

It will take time to restore chaos — George W. Bush

He’s a professional. He knows a lot about the game and can give you a lot of insights. The great thing about him is that he provides a lot of detail. He never leaves anything out. After he explains something to you, you’d be an idiot to mess it up. — Braylon Edwards

I was pretty much a dork growing up. Going up in front of a crowd and being an idiot was a relief when I was a kid. But talking to two or three people at once and being myself was impossible. And being myself while singing a song was more than impossible; I would’ve rather died. I get really nervous and tend to want to be an idiot. — Ben Folds

I didn’t want to tell her what an idiot I had been ? how I had put her and our family at risk. — Bill Saturno

They were snobs or idiots or both…yet she was inexplicably crushed by their coldness. — Jennifer Egan

Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out. — Anton Chekhov

I’m a recovering idiot boss. If I stop talking to my people, I’m dangling precariously. I’ve got to engage them and learn from their skills. If I do that, I’ve taken my personality out of the equation, and that creates consistency. — J. Hoover

A man profits more by the sight of an idiot than by the orations of the learned. — Arabian Proverbs

Even the idiot may have a message for us — Henry Miller

Silverstream: You idiot!!! What are you doing in my territory??? Graystripe:…Drowning? Silverstream: Can’t you do that in your own territory? Graystripe: Ah, but who would rescue me there? — Erin Hunter

I see teenagers or people who are 21 and think, ‘I was an idiot at that age.’ I was running around New York like a crazy woman. Thank God I only had three and a half cents to my name. I was too immature to handle success then. — Melissa McCarthy

Proved that I wasn’t an idiot for loving the American people. — Penn Jillette

If we lose our sanity … We can but howl the lugubrious howl of idiots, the howl of the utterly lost howling their nowhereness. — D. H. Lawrence

If you run into a monkey in some idiot context, automatically you’ve got a very real problem taking place in the photograph. — Garry Winogrand

It doesn’t help (that) this idiot Jimmy Carter has just come out for this port deal. I mean . . . Jimmy Carter’s just blown this deal sky-high by coming out and endorsing it. — Rush Limbaugh

I’m going to be a happy idiot and struggle for the legal tender. — Jackson Browne

When there’s an idiot driving crazily in front of you, that can wind the best of you up. — Clive Owen

Any artist who goes to Las Vegas is an idiot as far as I am concerned. Whoever goes to Las Vegas can stay in Las Vegas. — Chuck Close

If stocks are attractive and you don’t buy, you don’t just look like an idiot, you are an idiot. — Jeremy Grantham

He [Donald Trump] makes himself look like an idiot every single day. — Chrissy Teigen

He’s the idiot because it’s out. I’m holding him responsible. — Kid Rock

Of course you have an e-mail, you idiot, just read it! — Chris Jericho

I was an idiot and took Spanish in high school. In America, maybe (it would help), but not up here. It’s not going to help you out. — Rob Scuderi

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. — Author unknown

Even though idiot bosses are inevitable, they don’t have to be terminal. — J. Hoover

Idiot engineering isn’t butt kissing. The whole idea is to make working conditions more conducive to your career growth. — J. Hoover

The biggest idiot you will meet in life will be the person that thinks they know it all. — Christopher Jones

It just makes me sick. I had one person tell me, ‘I just spent $5,000 on some idiot in New York.’ If you got a gift … you don’t need to see that kind of gift used like that. — Darlene Gustovich

We get letters all the time about him wearing his hat backward and how it makes him look like a drug guy and how he really needs to quit being an idiot and wear it the right way. It’s incredible. — Brenda Roethlisberger

Some say it takes a village to raise a child, but it takes a village idiot to raise taxes on working families. — Tom DeLay

I dont know, said Simon, it doesn’t sound so bad to me. I’d rather have someone mess around inside my head than chop it off. Then you’re a bigger idiot than you look. — Cassandra Clare

You entered a marathon with hills? You idiot. — Don Kardong

You’re the biggest idiot that ever came out of Boston College. I’m insulted that we could have gone to the same school. — Bill Romanowski

It makes us all look like idiot savants. — Robert Hartwig

I post probably 5 to 10 times a day in my forum. I have a forum directly related to my blog where I will write my blog and people will disagree with me and call me an idiot so then I will say this is why I wrote that and blah, blah, blah. I spend a lot of time online. — Daniel Negreanu

The world is a raving idiot, and no man can kill it: though I’ll do my best. But you’re right. We must rescue ourselves as best we can. — D. H. Lawrence

Any idiot who looks at a map knows you can’t build bridges to every single island in Southeast. These are huge distances … so we need roads and ferries both. — Robin Taylor

There are millions to be grabbed out here and your only competition is idiots. Don’t let thisget around. — Herman J. Mankiewicz

Brian said he would give me an opportunity. I feel like an idiot coming in and getting injured right off the bat before playing and getting a chance to show anything. I’m in a tough position. I want to make them have to make a decision, and time is running out. — Steve Shields

I love playing idiots. I love very weird, confused women. — Jillian Bell

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out. — Adam Sandler

A drunken idiot loses her cell phone and because she is a cop two innocent people get arrested. — Rob Serafinowicz

Which idiot put the GOP convention the same time as ‘Burning Man’ in Nevada? Is there time to change this? — Grover Norquist

If you drink enough to blackout then you probably regret it when you wake up because more than likely you looked liked an idiot or did something dumb. — Andrew Bernard

Quick note here: if this crush-slash-swooning stuff is hard for you to stomach, if youve never had a similar experience, then you should come to grips with the fact that youve got a TV dinner for a heart and might want to consider climbing inside a microwave and turning it on high for at least an hour, which if you do consider only goes to show what kind of idiot you truly are because microwaves are way too small for anyone, let alone you, to climb into. — Mark Danielewski

I looked at him like he was an idiot, but he didn’t notice. Or maybe he got it so often, he thought that was how people looked at him. — Amanda Hocking

Empathize with stupidity and you’re halfway to thinking like an idiot — Iain Banks

There is nothing much better than going to a baseball game, getting a decent seat with a nice view (for one tenth of the price of a seat at Stamford Bridge) and enjoying a game with a beer in one hand and a NY-style hot dog in the other – and no chance of some idiot behind me shouting abuse or spitting obsenities at me (I am a Celtic supporter, I’m used to both). — John Thompson

All magic is ‘Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.’ — Jerry Seinfeld

One of the first exercises we did in acting class my freshman year was to stand in two rows, two lines facing each other as a class, and just make sounds and move in some completely nonsensical way out into the center of the room. Sort of make an idiot out of yourself, essentially, but to be okay with that. — Chris Parnell

I haven’t got to meet him in person yet. I would probably be a blubbering idiot if I did. — Rose Bergquist

Harry can paint but I can’t. He has our father’s talent while I, on the other hand, am about the biggest idiot on a piece of canvas. I did do a couple of drawings at Eton which were put on display. Teachers thought they were examples of modern art, but in fact, I was just trying to paint a house! — Prince William

That’s not to say that I’m a well-informed Catholic. I’m still in idiot. — Jim Gaffigan

Brent was essentially an idiot who wasn’t that bad but just wanted to be popular, … whereas Andy has a different theme: The world owes him a living. — Ricky Gervais

The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn’t think they’re an idiot. — Jeff Garlin

This is an awesome time to be a knowledge seeker, no better time, but it’s also the best time in history to be a complete idiot. — David Weinberger

I’m about respecting the game. Even if it is a home run, I don’t think it’s the right thing to do. It’s not like I wanted to fight the guy, but I wanted to make the point that you look like an idiot when you do that and it’s an out. It was my fault. I should’ve let it go. He didn’t do that last year when he was hitting a bunch of homers. I guess one season changes you. — Josh Beckett

I’m from Winnipeg, you idiot! — Chris Jericho

If knowledge is power and power is knowledge, then how so many idiots be graduating from college? — Coolio

Whoever invented God is an idiot. God is absolutely man’s worst invention. — Chris Lowe

We’re being lead by an idiot with a crayon. — Eoin Colfer

That kid is as big of an idiot as his brother. And I’m sure his other brother is, too. It goes right down the line. — Todd Sauerbrun

My wife knew, but don’t mention that because they’ll probably put a spell on me and I’ll disappear in a cloud of smoke. But you can’t keep it from her — I’m at home yelling out these voices. My wife must be an idiot if she didn’t recognize this is book four. But she didn’t read it. — Jim Dale

I had to learn how to drive a cement truck because there is a whole car chase with cement trucks, so I had to learn how to drive a cement truck. I don’t like these things, but I’m not an idiot. I can do it. — Christoph Waltz

I’m trained as a mime, but by no means am I silent. It’s not schlock mime. People always think of mime as some white-faced idiot accosting them in parks. It’s more the art of gesture. — Michael Cooper

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