”i love you forever ”
“And i won’t stop loving you till the end”..
Last time i said this words to whosever and vice versa… is not even nearby my contact list anymore.. well life is a distant place..
So, Forever for me is a mere word we often use to make each other happy out of fear of losing them way too early.. Relationship, marriage and above all even a family is not forever..
When this summer, i came back home after four months, only to find out that my father is admitted in hospital, he is fine now but earlier was in very critical condition.
Have you ever felt this feeling ?
One day even the best man of your world may leave without even notice.. That Man for me is my father, and luckily i see him everyday today. But this is ain’t a fairytale to make someone come back even after they are gone. One day, after 20 years or so, i may have to accept a fact that i would never want to admit. That’s life.. But these things are way too common and i must admit everyone know but perhaps ‘ONLY KNOW’. Who actually is accepting the same is still a big question.. i mean i never did, even if sometimes a negative thing about mishappening occurs in my mind.. i just refuse to think of the same. What would be a life, without seeing everyday the same person we have been seeing since the day we were born. Being in early 20s is a toughest stage, mentally you are going through so many things and you don’t seek much solution of it.. you keep it ,making yourself a big dustbin and continuously throwing stuff that isn’t even necessary. i guess its more mental than physical.. we come to peace with our looks in contrast to our teenage life. . but mentally we keep on updating ourselves and to add on our misery there is something called “VIRTUAL WORLD ” today. Everyday we keep updating ourselves, looking on others lives. .getting excited for some, while getting jealous some others. . but seldom we notice.. Their shoes and ours are completely different and we need to put ourselves together than watching others.. but we have become way too habitual..
But why these things, are even related to my original concern is a question..??
Let me try to make a simple answer, As said earlier, Forever is mere word and even though we can’t accept it soon we are often confusing it with virtual world, we are making connections with people we may never meet, making promises we can’t keep and even giving love we seldom find meaning .
And for those real people at home, we are trying to just make an excuse and i am one of those too. When i first heard about my father, i couldn’t believe because he was the healthiest person among us, strongest and i couldn’t stop crying.. Since i was so used to listen his voice every two days, i never thought one day will come when i may not listen his anymore.. and i was so much into thoughts, i questioned everyone for why, as they didn’t even informed me and among them one brother of mine, said, “its just cause they are protective over you.. You were far, there was no way they can see you in pain.”
For a while, i was so baffled, thinking if it even makes sense, bit it surely did.. Then i was so upset about all those evenings from last 4-5 years which i spent with my mobile to talk or do something that was not even necessary and missing all those evenings with my Forever , i missed all those laughs that emojis never would make me feel.. i missed all those one liners, that my online friends can never make, i missed all those advices that a middle age man and a woman could have provided which a 5 pages long article can never make sense, i missed every damn sense mingling with those who don’t exist in my life now while neglecting those who actually are forever..
We knownigly or unknowningly make this mistake .. and i felt as if someone showed me a mirror of the real life. . Screaming the facts, i don’t want to accept..
Its still soo harsh to believe when, parents talk about death and how sick after few years they gonna become,.
But Sometimes even their sickness make you irritated, as for example, my father has been most funniest man i ever knew, i today feel him sometimes short tempered, sometimes childish, sometimes making idiotic moves. .
.and then lines of Shakespeare’s “Seven ages” make complete sense..
“And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”
When the man turns into a child again, the way My father is becoming.. he is in making of child full of wise words in his pouch and he plays with them as a child plays with toys…
And its just starting i know,… But i believe him to be my forever.
and whenver i see a man and woman in movies on the stage of marriage making vows to ” take each other in sickness and health,.. i believe our parents make this vow long before we are born and do mean it, there is no divorce and they truthfully obey it making us their beautiful souvenir of their existence “
So, I am trying to make their journey a beautiful one coz I vow too now, to take them in sickness and health..
P.S – I may have come late.. but i surely would like to make amends for all those absence..